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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL's wedding outfit

172 replies

shallichangemyname · 15/05/2018 13:28

Posting on behalf of a friend who is unsure how to deal with this.
Friend is getting married this summer and is wearing a traditional white floor length wedding dress with veil. Wedding is very small with 19 guests, all immediate family. MIL has just sent her a picture of a floor length white dress which she intends to wear. How does friend respond?
Two choices - get STBDH to deal with it, or reply "haha, I thought you were serious!"

OP posts:
Inertia · 15/05/2018 16:56

If future sister in law is a good friend of the bride, it might be worth the bride asking her to have a word with her mother.

wibblywobblywoo · 15/05/2018 16:58

Blush Yup Raquel Welch!!! Sorry all! That look though...... although obvs totally justified, not just a huge hat (which is the bit I always remember) but that neckline too, that really is unforgivable.

DalmatianDots · 15/05/2018 16:58

I once nearly wore a white dress to a wedding. I cringe now, but fortunately a friend put me straight.

ItWillAllBeFine · 15/05/2018 17:00

"That's a lovely dress STBMIL but it does look a lot like a wedding dress. Did you realise?"

Juells · 15/05/2018 17:03

"That's a lovely dress STBMIL but it does look a lot like a wedding dress. Did you realise?"

Gosh, you're all so clever. That's a really good, non-confrontational way to point the problem out to her as well.

SarfE4sticated · 15/05/2018 17:06

I think that the bride is the bride is the bride. No matter what the MILs or MOTBs wear, it's not about the dress, it's about the ceremony and the love and commitment of two people. I would let my MIL get on with it, and just enjoy the day. It's only a competition if you make it one.

sashh · 15/05/2018 17:07

I'd text.

OMG, you know I'm not usually superstitious but do you know how unlucky it is to wear white when you are not the bride?

FilledSoda · 15/05/2018 17:10

Don't forget to update us

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/05/2018 17:12

Dragons
I thought it was Raquel Welsh as well

mrsFruitLoops · 15/05/2018 17:12

Mine wanted to wear a football shirt....as "it's only a casual wedding isn't it"
Angry
Dh told her "no...1 it's a wedding 2 were all dressing up smart and 3 if she turned up in a football shirt the hotel would be told not to let her in" she wore an old dress then

SarfE4sticated · 15/05/2018 17:14

I'm speechless mrsFruitLoops. How do you ever get back from that!

SandAndSea · 15/05/2018 17:21

@AtrocityNeedles - Did she wear a veil? ... I'd love to know your thoughts on why she did that to her dil and not to you.

nicedayforawhitewedding1980 · 15/05/2018 17:28

I have name changed for this one!! At a family member of mines wedding her MIL (Who made no secret of hating her) couldnt find anything suitable in the Mother of groom/bride sections and instead went to a bridal shop and wore this. My family member (bride) was devastated

MIL's wedding outfit
SarfE4sticated · 15/05/2018 17:30

@nicedayforawhitewedding1980 it just looks like a mother of the bride outfit to me - i know it's cream, but it doesn't look that bridal to me.

My mum wore a cream suit to my wedding and I thought she looked lovely.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 15/05/2018 17:32

That's pretty bad niceday, could have been worse though, she could have worn a long white dress. And it doesn't detract from the actual bride. This MIL sounds mean though to do that on purpose because she didn't like her DIL.

buttercup54321 · 15/05/2018 17:35

She either gets a different dress or doesn't attend the wedding. Her son needs to deal with her trying to upstage his bride to be.

changemy · 15/05/2018 17:37

Sorry had to name change for this but my mil bought the same dress as my mum to wear to our wedding. On purpose. Slightly different colour but still. The worst bit was she asked for my opinion but then didn't like it when it was given 

Weddings!!! 

Hope your friend sorts it OP but as others have said, if the mil insists on wearing it the joke won't be on your friend at all. And I'm sure her wedding will be memorable for other reasons - all the right ones.

ARoomSomewhere · 15/05/2018 17:37

the Bride is the Bride is the Bride.

Agreed... but.... i went to a wedding 10 years ago where the MIL wore black, a hat with a 'big black veil and stood and faced the wall and cried (wailed loudly) when they took their vows. I have never seen anything like it. It was like a spoof mafia daytime tv episode but in RL in Scotland with a pretty stunned Presbyterian Minister Shock

Juells · 15/05/2018 17:38

@nicedayforawhitewedding1980 I don't think that looks too bad either, looks like a 'mother of the bride' outfit.

YearOfYouRemember · 15/05/2018 17:40

WibblyWobbly. That's Raquel Welch, not Sophia Loren!

YearOfYouRemember · 15/05/2018 17:43

Ah, didn't see others had said so before I posted.

My MIL wore cream/yellow which matched my flowers. Still bit annoyed.

SwearingMakesEverythingBetter · 15/05/2018 18:25

I can see I'm in a minority here, but isn't this being taken a bit too seriously? It's only a dress. If she does look inappropriately 'bridal' people might laugh at her but that's not the bride's problem. People get a bit controlling about weddings. Just forget about it and enjoy the day!

Guna100 · 15/05/2018 18:27

I’d go with STBDH explaining .... but along the lines of how disappointed ‘he’d’ be if she decides to upstage the bride

crispysausagerolls · 15/05/2018 18:33

SwearingMakesEverythingBetter

But people don't want their wedding day to be about people laughing because so and so wore something obviously inappropriate. And, more than that, it's just such a deliberately disrespectful thing to do! It's the principle of the thing: there are so many other colours to choose from and everyone KNOWS white is off limits as it's for the bride.

BettyPitts · 15/05/2018 18:34

I would just reply Oh hahahaha you had me for a minute there! No one would know what to say if you wore that! X