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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask WHY you chose to have a child?

166 replies

Octave777 · 19/04/2018 21:23

Not really aibu but I feel unreasonable that I should have to ask.

What was it that made you want to have kids?

Sorry short post but just wanted unfiltered opinions.

Thanks!

OP posts:
SittingAround1 · 19/04/2018 21:25

I met the right man.

BlueUggs · 19/04/2018 21:27

I had a step-daughter who we had part time.
It was hard to turn off the maternal feelings when she went home. I didn't like it so had my own child.

Titsywoo · 19/04/2018 21:28

Well the first time was an accident to be honest but I knew DH (then DP) was a good man and I loved him and thought sod it why not? Grin. DD was so awesome I wanted to have another!

FuzzyPenguin · 19/04/2018 21:29

DH wanted one, I wasn’t fussed either way, so went along with it.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 19/04/2018 21:29

I didn't want to not have children.

Blaablaablaa · 19/04/2018 21:29

@sitting same here. Didn't want them until I met my DH then all of a sudden it was like someone flipped a switch

lauryloo · 19/04/2018 21:31

I met the right man too.

Before I met him I didn’t want any

jamoncrumpets · 19/04/2018 21:32

Biological urge. Can't really explain it. Just felt I had to. So did. He's ace. Grin

Threeminis · 19/04/2018 21:32

First day was a surprise but I always knew I would be a mother

Threeminis · 19/04/2018 21:32

Fuck. Day = ds

Ickyockycocky · 19/04/2018 21:34

I really wanted children. I have three and I love them beyond words. They are the best thing in my life.

CloudCaptain · 19/04/2018 21:35

I wasn't fussed but dh wanted 2. I knew they would be hard work. But I love having them and now want one more. We had a good 10years together having carefree fun. Hitting 30 focused the idea.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2018 21:35

I always wanted children, it never occurred to me that I wouldn't have them.

I should have waited for the right man though!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/04/2018 21:35

Have always wanted kids. It is like saying why do you want to breathe. Closer to a need than a want.

Luckily I met someone who felt very similar so we did.

PerfectlyDone · 19/04/2018 21:35

For me it was/is a long game: I want to be part of something 'bigger' than just me, I want a connection to future generations, I like the idea of 'family' as a social construct and support system, vertically (across generations) and horizontally (siblings supporting each other).

I have never had a broody day in my life, I find babies very hard work and toddlers even cuter but even harder work. I enjoy children from primary school age and absolutely love my teenagers Grin

The right man left us last year, so pfffffft! to him.

Allmyshilldren · 19/04/2018 21:36

I was one of those who had wanted a baby since I was practically a baby myself. It sort of felt like my biology overrode my rational thoughts about it although I waited until I was married to the right person in my thirties. I really wanted to experience the feeling of love you have for your child and I can confirm it is absolutely incredible (even if kids are a massive pain in the arse a lot of the time).

elmo1980 · 19/04/2018 21:38

Part natural urge, part thinking I could be a good mum and bring up some decent human beings and part thinking well how else do I want to spend the next 20 years?

octonaught · 19/04/2018 21:39

I have always wanted to be a mum, since primary school age, I was always helping people with their babies; babysitting etc. I waited a long time to have DS, he arrived when I turned 40. If I’m honest, probably why I glossed over ex DP’s shortcomings. I met him at 37 and knew it was the last chance to have a family.

LyricalGangster · 19/04/2018 21:39

It was something I always planned to do 'in the future' the very very distant future but I got pregnant by accident when I was 27 (contraception failed). I remember telling my boyfriend, I was in floods of tears clutching positive test and he was just so calm and happy about it, trying to comfort and reassure me. I had a miscarriage just as I started to get my head in a place where I wanted the baby. It made me realise that actually I was with a fantastic man, we could afford it, and the time as right. So we tried for another pregnancy and then had even more dc

BuffyTheMLMHunter · 19/04/2018 21:40

I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 19/04/2018 21:40

It felt like it was the right thing to do at my age and stage in the relationship

I am afraid to say I didn’t think beyond that . Which makes me feel very very guilty when I read and hear of people with infertility

jasjas1973 · 19/04/2018 21:41

@Allmyshilldren
You sound like my former partner!

But i never ever wanted kids, hated the idea, she talked me around eventually, its the best thing i ve ever done, though i feel i am in the minority on this looking at another thread on here.

BluebellCockleshell123 · 19/04/2018 21:42

DC1 was an accident (I was 30) so although we weren't being careful, we didn't actually decide to TTC.

I hadn't thought too much about if I actually wanted children before that - I suppose I kind of expected it to happen at some point but didn't have any strong feelings either way. If anyone had asked me before I found out I would have said that I wanted to wait a few years.

Turns out it was the best thing to happen to us. We have 3 now and I'm so so glad we were taken by surprise and didn't put it off any longer.

mindutopia · 19/04/2018 21:42

I couldn’t imagine growing old and not having children and grandchildren around me. Also I think to an extent I wanted a chance to do things differently than how I was raised.

InDubiousBattle · 19/04/2018 21:44

My sister had hers when I was 17 (she had 3 close together)and I just loved them so much I knew I wanted my own.

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