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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask WHY you chose to have a child?

166 replies

Octave777 · 19/04/2018 21:23

Not really aibu but I feel unreasonable that I should have to ask.

What was it that made you want to have kids?

Sorry short post but just wanted unfiltered opinions.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Minniemountain · 20/04/2018 06:05

After 12 years together not wanting children, we got married then DH suggested it. I remember thinking "I'm not that fussed about going out and getting drunk now, so ok".

Kate223344 · 20/04/2018 06:52

Until my late thirties, I was fairly sure I didn't want children and had never been around them much as an adult. But I felt I'd had enough holidays, going out etc by then and was ready for a new chapter in my life. I was also excited by the prospect of teaching someone about the world and hopefully helping them to have a lovely life.

To help prepare, I read lots of positive and negative threads on Mumsnet - and still didn't understand what sleep deprivation entailed until I experienced it for myself!

I am 100% happy with my decision so far and it is for the most part so much better than I expected (and I don't have an 'easy' child).

Mightymucks · 20/04/2018 08:23

Always wanted them. I like kids.

SerenDippitty · 20/04/2018 08:46

I think there is some social pressure to have them. In the early 90s when I was first ttc it was still considered a bit odd a d selfish not to want them.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2018 15:48

I wanted to care and nurture a mini person I suppose.

RedRobot · 20/04/2018 15:55

I never had a proper family and it is something I always wished for so I knew I'd have to gave my own. I had a lot of love to give and thought I could raise happy children. Then I met the right man who also really wanted children.

Eolian · 20/04/2018 16:01

Surely any reasons people come up with are just ways of rationalising or emotionalising the biological drive to procreate? We are animals - pretty much everything we do is driven by the need to survive and pass on our genes!

LadyFlumpalot · 20/04/2018 16:03

I didn't want children, was too busy spending all my money on fabulous shoes and fast cars. Then I had one too many sambucas on a night out, had unprotected sex and hello DS.

Best thing I ever did. Even if I did have to sell my car. And I don't really get to wear my shoes anymore.

Decided to give it another go with DD.

BodgingThisMumThing · 20/04/2018 16:05

Got pregnant, didn’t want an abortion.
Never wanted children before that and I’m only 20, so decided to go for it. My mum had six kids and her youngest is 4, partners mums youngest is only 2. So had been around babies for what felt like ever and everyone said it would be all hands on deck so we took a chance!
6 months in hes the absolute best thing that ever happened to us, the funniest little soul, and everyone stuck to what they said and have been amazing guiding us.

Bowlofbabelfish · 20/04/2018 16:06

The right man. Job security, career point where I’d done the hard yards in my twenties and have a place on the ladder that’s OK. Financial security. Just felt like the right time.

Not sure I’ve ever felt any great drive or desire to have them before I did. It was just something we discussed and decided on together. It’s been fun so far - I’m halfway through gestating the second.

Raffles1981 · 20/04/2018 16:15

Met the right man. Had been married to an abusive man, after him thought I was done. Met my dp who is the total opposite and after six years, it just felt right. We talked about it for a long time and thought it through. Best thing I ever did.

Itsnotmesothere · 20/04/2018 16:22

Anxiety. Didn't have crazy biological urges but knew I'd regret not having children. Felt like I should get a move on as I was afraid it wouldn't happen so I did.
Since having a baby, I understand what broody means, now I'm keen for another.

applesisapple5 · 20/04/2018 16:42

To reference another thread from today, NOT so I have someone to look after me in old age!!!

clarabellski · 20/04/2018 16:50

Bit cliche but it was the old biological clock after turning 30

theculture · 20/04/2018 16:56

Didn't think I wanted to - wasn't fussed by babies, then I held my twins baby that switched on all my hormones!

Xmasbaby11 · 20/04/2018 17:00

I wanted a family. And met the right person. My life would have gone another way if I'd not met dh.

StylishMummy · 20/04/2018 17:03

Always wanted them, would have more if we could afford to have more than 2.

TattyDevine · 20/04/2018 17:45

Fear of missing out, mainly! Honestly!

Best thing I ever did.

Ghanagirl · 20/04/2018 17:51

I loved looking after various family kids in my twenties, then as soon as I married DH I wanted us to have our own as did he.
We were blessed with twins

thegreylady · 20/04/2018 17:53

I always wanted children and have never regretted my decision. A real bonus is, of course, grandchildren!

Morphene · 20/04/2018 17:56

I was programmed from birth to think my life wouldn't be complete without them.

The brain washing was lying - it was a mistake.

MagicalMerlot · 20/04/2018 18:00

I wanted a baby from age 16 Blush
I was sensible and waited till I was 20 Grin

herethereandeverywhere · 20/04/2018 18:09

I genuinely thought it would be a lovely experience. I thought I'd be sharing all my favourite things and teaching them stuff I love to do and see and eat. I thought it would make my existing life better.

It isn't like that at all. And it's unrelenting. And never ending.

There's another thread running which is full of concern for childless women who will have no-one to care for them in their old age Hmm Personally I cannot wait to be left alone.

Turnocks34 · 20/04/2018 18:14

I drank a few too many shots of tequila and decided to risk having sex unprotected, knowing I hadn’t taken my pill in 3 weeks, along came Ds1.

Ds2, I just really wanted another baby. always wanted more than one.

Hopefully will be adding a third, and final baby in the next couple of years.

Strange, because I never considered that I wanted babies until I got pregnant with ds1. I was adamant I wasn’t the maternal type, but it turns out, I actually am.

Turnocks34 · 20/04/2018 18:15

*after having ds1, I always wanted more than one