To ask WHY you chose to have a child?

[Octave777]

Not really aibu but I feel unreasonable that I should have to ask.

What was it that made you want to have kids?

Sorry short post but just wanted unfiltered opinions.

Thanks!

Never wanted kids, wasn't that keen on them, met the right man and he wanted kids....I find I really like teenagers - funny, honest, complicated...new and shiny ideas about life, so familiar and so new too. I want to be a teenager again!

I know I’m selfish in lots of ways.

I don't think that's selfish. Not having children is not a selfish act at all, nor is spending the money you earned how you want to. I really don't understand the no kids= selfish angle. I suppose the only thing I would say is that being a parent has made me care more about what the world will be like after I'm dead, but that's definitely not universal to either parents or non-parents. It's purely about me.

Because I wanted to.

Are you a journalist?

Wanted to have the life experience of growing a baby
And sick of my job so wanted a year off

My own mother was a fantastic mum who always seemed to really enjoy motherhood. So I thought it would be fun. And I thought it would be... not easy necessarily, but not too hard for me, because I already had the parenting toolkit which she had provided to me, full of ways to make children feel happy and loved and help them grow into competent adults.

That’s a v lovely post Saracen.clearly your mum was a positive factor

I really don't understand the no kids= selfish angle.

This is usually said by people who are unhappy being parents, they are bitter and envious because they secretly wish they’d chosen not to have children, or they feel they didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Prefer to regret what I have done I.stead of what I haven't. I am envious of my childfree friends, but then I look at what I've created and feel lucky to have these little (sorry, "I'm 6, I'm not little")people in my life.

I never wanted kids. Never. Then I divorced exh and met DH and had an urge I'd never felt before. We have 2 dc and they are the best thing ever!

I wanted to have children and give them the same family life I had as a child.

Plus I didn't want to be stuck behind a desk 9-5 the rest of my life.

Loads of reasons. In no particular order:

Biological urge.
Wondering what pregnancy and childbirth feels like, wanting to experience it
Wanted someone to love and be loved in return.
Wanted to feel needed.
I had an unhappy childhood and wanted to re create a happy and loving family.
I wanted dh and I to be parents. I wanted what I saw in the holiday brochures and Christmas ads on TV
Had one, wanted her to have a sibling, had another. Then had another again.

Oddly enough, other people's babies and children don't do anything for me and never made me broody.

Wanted to carry on my family line (as it turns out, none of my or DH's siblings have had kids so I feel doubly-justified!).

It's weird because I'm not naturally maternal and didn't even really like kids till I had my own, so without the above reason I may well have not bothered. And would have missed out as I adore the little buggers

As well as not wanting to miss out I wanted some time out of the workplace, a lifestyle change. Even though Inever got it, it’s partly because I didn’t that I’ll be in a position to retire at 60. Sort of a silver lining I guess though I would rather have had children.

I spent my 20s and early 30s wanting no children.

I lived a high life, great career, traveled extensively, ate out at fancy restaurants several times a week, brand new car every year, lovely home, lived with a couple of talented and high earning men.

I had some traumatic events, then found myself alone, no home, no job.
I picked myself up and met a lovely new man- who was desperate for children.
Something overtook me and suddenly I wanted a child with every fibre of my being. The desire to nurture, to give love, to have a baby was overwhelming.
I became pregnant 6 weeks into my new relationship.
Totally irresponsible- but it worked.
Still with my lovely man- and two kids- 22 years later.

Biological urge. I had been with DH for two years before we decided to try. A month later we were expecting.

12 years and 3 kids later I am fighting the biological urge. I don't feel like I'm done. I really want another but DH doesn't. It's an almost physically painful yearning. I feel this way even though I have three amazing kids (so amazing I want to make more of them) so I cannot even begin to imagine how those who can't have any feel. Heartbreaking.

I didn't plan on having children, as I was massively enjoying my work and my life. Then, one morning at 42, I woke up wanting a child, and was pregnant days later. Now, 18 years later and with A levels on the horizon and a lot of stress hormones washing around, it was the best thing I have ever done, and I knew it as soon as my baby was laid in my arms. The switch flipped.