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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask WHY you chose to have a child?

166 replies

Octave777 · 19/04/2018 21:23

Not really aibu but I feel unreasonable that I should have to ask.

What was it that made you want to have kids?

Sorry short post but just wanted unfiltered opinions.

Thanks!

OP posts:
corythatwas · 19/04/2018 21:44

Grew up with younger siblings, then nephew and nieces, so knew being around young children was something I enjoyed & was good at.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 19/04/2018 21:46

Natural urge I would say. When I look at our daughter now, I really cannot imagine what life would be without here.

I suppose it was a natural progression after marriage and we got married because we wanted a child.

ificouldwritealettertome · 19/04/2018 21:46

Because my parents were really horrible to me so I wanted to make a little me to be nice to

fruityb · 19/04/2018 21:47

I met the right man and it felt like the natural thing. It took two years to conceive and when ds was born he took my breath away.

Of course my anxiety levels skyrocketed, I still find it very difficult at times, I get annoyed at how dh is far more laid back about certain aspects of parenting (without being the one that deals with the consequences of that as often!) and sometimes think one is enough then yearn for another!

It’s the hardest thing I have ever done with my life but I would not be without my little guy. He’s growing up so fast and watching him do that is amazing.

JessieMcJessie · 19/04/2018 21:48

Wanted to make a new person with the love of my life. Felt that we’d love raising a child together. 19 months in and so far we do. Can’t have another bit am quite at peace with that I think.

helpconfused · 19/04/2018 21:49

I didn't want to be old with no family around me

Lauraandbump2 · 19/04/2018 21:51

I love children and had massive biological urge to have my own and be a mother.

DramaAlpaca · 19/04/2018 21:52

I just did. The closer I got to 30 the broodier I got.

Motherofpooch · 19/04/2018 21:52

i never cared too much. Then got told i couldnt have them, got pregnant (surprise miracle!!!) so i had a baby! didnt dare not because I desperatly wanted them later in life and couldnt i would always regret!

mishfish · 19/04/2018 21:53

Going to answer without reading any other comments.

I felt like I could do a really good job of raising happy and decent human beings

Notallthat · 19/04/2018 21:58

I always wanted children as far back as I remember at primary school I was always adamant one day I'd be a mum. I'm an only child so I think that shaped me wanting to have a few children.

SerenDippitty · 19/04/2018 21:59

I wanted to have kids because I felt I’d be missing out if I didn’t. In the event I couldn’t have them- but I’ve come to realise there’s a lot I haven’t missed out on.

MetalMidget · 19/04/2018 22:02

I never wanted children, but after eight years together my husband did. I decided to give it a go - so glad that I did, our son is the best thing ever.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 19/04/2018 22:04

I've always loved children and always known I'd like my own. When I got pregnant with DS1 I didn't know how much of a challenge it was, and I hugely underestimated the changes it brings. But I also had an overwhelming urge to have a child. With DS2 it was different; DH wanted a baby more than I did. But that surge of joy and overwhelming love he's commandeered into our lives is like nothing else.

My role as a Mother doesn't define me. But of all the roles I have, it's the one I'm absolutely best at; the pride that comes with watching them grow into lovely humans is amazing.

Original poster
Octave777 · 19/04/2018 22:05

Thanks for your replies. Been reading with interest :)

OP posts:
BigPinkBall · 19/04/2018 22:05

I had a desperate urge to have a baby, it was constantly on my mind from my late 20s, never had any interest before that. I eventually persuaded DH and as soon as he agreed it was all I could think about.

loobybear · 19/04/2018 22:05

I grew up with the assumption that I would have them because that just seemed to be what would naturally happen. The last 7 or so years I have really questioned if I want kids because I love the freedom of being able to do what I want when I want and have a hobby that I love that takes me away most weekends and to other parts of the world at times and I didn't know if I wanted to give that up. The last year I started to lean back towards wanting kids and me and DH have just started TTC. i decided I definitely do want them because I want that bond and when I see how much my parents still adore me and my siblings, even as adults, i know I want that.

Mybabystolemysanity · 19/04/2018 22:09

We thought we would make decent parents and be able to raise decent children.

Privately, it was a chance to do something worthwhile that nobody could take away from me.

I love my DD more than anything in the world and I can't wait to meet my baby son in July, but my God, it's the hardest thing I've ever, ever undertaken. They shake your faith in yourself to the core.

53rdWay · 19/04/2018 22:10

Got bored of The Sims, decided to branch out.

TheMonkeyMummy · 19/04/2018 22:18

Always wanted one. Met a fantastic man, it was so good that we ended up having four! Grin

NameChange30 · 19/04/2018 22:20

53rd
Grin

I always wanted children, always liked babies, never really thought more deeply about it, except that when my friends started having children it made me feel even more that I wanted that for me and DH too.

Now we have DS we obviously love him more than anything but it’s made me understand why you’d choose NOT to have children Blush Although it’s been so so hard, for some crazy reason I still want another child. So I think it’s heart over head. For me it’s not a rational decision. It’s something deep down that I can’t really explain. I suppose if I tried I would say that I want DS to have a sibling, that I hope number two wouldn’t be quite such a shock to the system (...right?!) and we would have another amazing person to love and watch them grow.

MelanieSmooter · 19/04/2018 22:20

An intense, biological urge. I was 18 and it was strong enough that, despite intelligence and drive, I went ahead and had one! Then I accidentally fell pregnant with a second when the first was 3 months old. Blush

MinaPaws · 19/04/2018 22:24

Loads of reasons - loved DH and knew he'd be a good dad because he was such a lovely uncle to my DBro's DC when they were tiny an dused to stay with us.
Was sick of being excluded by my family because I didn't have kids so they treated me as invisible (not a great reason).
Sounds daft but mainly, I really wanted to have children for the excuse to do all the fun stuff all over again - build sandcastles and bake fairy cakes, visit Legoland and Disney and dress up the house for Christmas etc. It all felt a bit pointless with just DH and me. DC gave us an excuse to do so many lovely things again that are mainly child-centred.

Whatevszz · 19/04/2018 22:24

Company

QueenofmyPrinces · 19/04/2018 22:30

The first one, if I’m honest was because it felt like the next natural step. We had just got married and in our excited state we jumped into ‘let’s have a baby mode’ without actually asking ourselves whether we wanted one and if so, was it the right time. We were like two kids who were excited about going on a trip to the zoo or something.

With baby number two is was because I couldn’t bear the thought of never being pregnant again or never nurturing a baby again. Plus, I really didn’t want my first child growing up without a sibling.