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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask WHY you chose to have a child?

166 replies

Octave777 · 19/04/2018 21:23

Not really aibu but I feel unreasonable that I should have to ask.

What was it that made you want to have kids?

Sorry short post but just wanted unfiltered opinions.

Thanks!

OP posts:
SeriousChutzpah · 19/04/2018 22:34

I never wanted to, then I finished a book and didn’t want to start another one immediately.

DaftWeeBun · 19/04/2018 22:35

I didn't like my job.

PinkbicyclesinBerlin · 19/04/2018 22:38

I love children and I always wanted them.

supercalifragilisticexpiali · 19/04/2018 22:39

Absolute hormonal urge. Luckily it didn’t hit me until I met DH.

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 19/04/2018 22:39

I didn’t choose to get pregnant but ultimately without a second thought chose to keep it. I jus5 couldn’t bring myself to ever terminate apart of myself. Both of us wanted kids in the future so we just had him sooner than later. Now both dc are why I wake up in the morning. 🌎

spacestranger · 19/04/2018 22:43

I wanted a purpose.

I had planned to adopt if it didn't happen naturally, I have never been hung up on having a biological child.

BillywigSting · 19/04/2018 22:47

I got a bfp and didn't think I could face having a termination.

Hands down the best decision I ever made.

I actually never wanted any children but I'm very glad I did!

Battleax · 19/04/2018 22:49

They shake your faith in yourself to the core.

With an eye to the likelihood that OP is asking for a reason, I have to point out that not everyone feels that.

Certainly hard work when they’re small, though.

NoMudNoLotus · 19/04/2018 22:52

Because i wanted them.

Thats it .

I knew my life would always be unfulfilled without them ... and it would have been.

I am grateful every single day for 2 lots of successful IVF.

WhyDoesItAlways · 19/04/2018 22:53

Natural urge which I feel is coming back trying to entice me to have number 2. But DS was an utter dick today which makes it easier to suppress those feelings!

Also wanted an excuse to redo all the childhood things I loved and watch my child(ren) enjoy them too. Particularly looking forward to taking him to Disneyland and for him to be old enough to get Christmas and birthdays.

Oh and they make having a newborn look much easier on TV shows which I think lulled me into a false sense of security.

muffyduffster · 19/04/2018 22:56

I was pretty ambivalent but I had the perfect storm of meeting my baby niece within a year of getting together with my future husband! He was so thoughtful and gentle with two dogs we looked after that I thought it would be a real waste if he wasn't ever a dad. Turns out he's just as good as I thought Smile

Baubletrouble43 · 19/04/2018 23:00

It's just an urge inside me that I've never analysed or questioned. A desire that is a massive part of who I am .

Flutist · 19/04/2018 23:02

DH wanted kids and I figured it was better than him divorcing me to have them with someone else. Plus I had no luck getting a decent job and it was an opportunity to opt out of the workforce and not have to feel like crap every day because I failed to be successful in my career.

Oysterbabe · 19/04/2018 23:04

DH wanted one, I wasn’t fussed either way, so went along with it.

Same. Plus not much on the telly.

OwlinaTree · 19/04/2018 23:07

Just always thought they would be part of my life. Didn't have them till later 30s, took a while to get there.

It had changed me a lot, but I don't regret it... Well maybe when the baby wakes me up at 6am!

elQuintoConyo · 19/04/2018 23:07

Thought it was just something adults do. I was 35, just married, had been with DH 12 years by that point. Best friend was going through ivf, two close friends had breast cancer which affected their fertility, another friend had multiple miscarriages.

I don't regret the decision to have one, at all, but certainly don't want any more.

I really cannot say i have any maternal instinct or a need to be surrounded by newborns - i never understood the 'smell of a newborn's neck' thing, they just smelled of Johnson's.

Each person is different.

LastOneDancing · 19/04/2018 23:09

Biological urge.
It was like a physical yearning, I can't explain it but it was painful.

Having my boys was the best thing I ever did. I can only explain it with the cheesy line 'they complete me' Grin

LaurG · 19/04/2018 23:12

I’ve never been one if those people who needed to have kids and I’ve always been a bit unsure. However at 35 I guess I was getting a bit tired of getting up, going to work and living for the weekend. So I gave it a shot and conceived immediately. I’m now 7 months pregnant. I’m very lucky in this respect.

Anyway, so far so good. Fingers crossed the rest of the pregnancy and birth are ok. I feel quietly confident that my oh and I won’t regret having this baby.... but it is scary and sometimes the fear that made me delay motherhood does kick in.

snop · 19/04/2018 23:31

I've always known I wanted children. I love spending time with babies and children. Even other people's

ZoniSouslaLune · 20/04/2018 05:15

I love children and always knew I wanted to have my own. I wanted a large family. And so we did. We have five girls.

Having them is one of the best things I ever did.

umpireStrikesBack · 20/04/2018 05:25

I felt like I (we) were ready and I'd always known I wanted a family.

Children fascinate me - I'm a teacher.

I thought I'd be a good parent.

SinglePringle · 20/04/2018 05:31

Different perspective ... apart from a brief biological urge around 20 years ago (aged 25), I was always baffled by others ‘need’ to have children.

I love kids, love my friends kids and am good with them but I always knew (from a young age) that I didn’t understand why people had them and knew I wouldn’t have my own. So I haven’t.

holmenkoll · 20/04/2018 05:44

When I was 28 I was like: I want kids.. I want kids. When I was 33, I was like: Maybe I want kids. Then I met my DH and life started to test our relationship. He got cancer and then to have kids was going to happen just with IVF help. I wasn't still sure of being mom but he was sure to become dad. Our baby come to the world and I just wish to have another one. Smile

Arapaima · 20/04/2018 06:03

I just always wanted them - from when I was very young.

WorldWideWanderer · 20/04/2018 06:04

I had been married a few years and had ideas about "becoming a family". I don't think I realised the reality of having children. I had a lovely fantasy of how it would be....and it wasn't when it hapened.
The reality was the I was always tired, didn't feel I was a good mother and many times wished I'd never had the children. I love them to bits but it wasn't easy when they were young and if I could go back and do my time all over again, I would not have children at all....