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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to work that hard

454 replies

Greentomato82 · 16/04/2018 23:17

Not about SAHM / WOHM but about work generally, men and women alike, DC or no DC. Reading a lot of threads on here people often say they work mainly because they 'want' to work and that it's an important part of their identity etc. I know that some jobs are a real vocation, and obviously we all need money, but surely lots of jobs are a bit meh really and with a lottery win most of us would give it up or at least treat it as more of a hobby? I just seem to hear this more and more, lots about career building and ambition. Frankly I am not going to change the word any time soon and that suits me just fine. I want to rebel a bit and enjoy life. We generally work at least 9-5, 5 days a week for decades to pay the mortgage and bills because that's what we're supposed to do. Those at the top get richer and I can't help but feel like we're gradually being coaxed into a trap of believing our work is more important than it is to justify spending so much time there. I don't like that schools are focused on creating a 'productive' workforce of tomorrow, or that I'm viewed as a unit of productivity and the obsession with GDP. We're not ants surely? Am I the only grumpy one that wants to go off grid and hibernate from all the busy productive people. I'm not lazy but I just don't get it. AIBU?

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 17/04/2018 00:40

If you can fund yourself, do it. If you have to rely on other people's money in the form of benefits then I would judge you and would consider you to be lazy.

I never had a high flying career but always chose jobs that, in addition to paying reasonably well, were interesting and enjoyable.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 17/04/2018 00:50

and then you die...so why not enjoy life a bit? work as hard as you need to make ends meet and enjoy your years on this planet.
lots of people find nooks and crannies and live a simple life. it is best however if it is self funded.

Bramble71 · 17/04/2018 01:07

You're not BU, OP. I could have written your post myself! I never considered that I had a career, just a (short) string of office jobs. So long as people can afford the basics, why knock ourselves out for someone else's profit, be seen as just a number, a problem or even an inconvenient means to an end? Employers don't care about us i the slightest, that's for sure. Work to live, not live to work.

PinkCrystal · 17/04/2018 01:14

I agree OP. I have been a happy SAHM for over 15 yrs and now the kids are older am retraining in a rewarding career. It's in healthcare so not just making money for someone at the top. Our system is messed up. We should have more time off and better work life balance.

Who is to say 40 hours is the right amount of time anyway? Part time all the way!

I am not sure it is progress to have both parents working full time. Why not both do 20 hours? We are working more for less!!!

Society is far too money focussed. It's crap. I think people are starting to wake up to it now the Tories are going gung ho with their individualism.

halfwitpicker · 17/04/2018 01:18

Totally agree op.

Workaholics are overrated.

ReanimatedSGB · 17/04/2018 01:24

The fetishization of 'hard work' is a big fucking con, basically. It's about making the masses accept that they should serve their 'betters' and wear themselves out to line someone else's pockets, unquestioningly. If 'hard work' is Good then people should do lots of it for less pay and never demand time off...
This is why it's people on benefits who are constantly criticized, while people who own a lot of property/land and live off the rents are generally looked up to.

hotsouple · 17/04/2018 01:31

Fuck I work at my family business and even then I have learned the hard way the company ain't loyal to you, the more you put in the more angry and/or apathetic my boss seems to get (trying to make improvements, asking for a raise, taking on new projects.) Go in, put in your time, get paid, go home. I truly do work for the weekends. And I like my job, my coworkers, etc; but my job is to provide me with funds so I can enjoy myself and fulfill myself on my own time, not because my job is fulfilling in itself. And I'm happy with that.

hotsouple · 17/04/2018 01:33

And fuck it I am lazy. Work smarter not harder. The best aspect of my job to me is it's office work and I have 3 monitors, which means one monitor can be playing Real Housewives all day long while I work. no one complains cus all my shit gets done efficiently. Best perk ever.

Momo27 · 17/04/2018 01:45

I absolutely agree about not wanting to just grind away endlessly in a boring job to make someone else money.

But where I find your OP slightly contradictory is that surely (given that earning to support yourself is a fact of adult life) it makes sense to aspire to have an interesting career rather than just a mundane job? It doesn’t mean your whole identity is invested in it. Just that it’s more fulfilling. I’ve yet to hear anyone on MN say they aspire to their children leaving school and working in boring jobs....

So while I completely agree about not being a workaholic, and working smarter rather than longer hours etc, I much prefer having a career than not.

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 01:46

What about the coming world of work. There won’t be enough jobs once automation takes over.
If we handle it right and tax the robots rather than letting those who own them take all the profit we can all have a universal basic income ( UBI) to cover the essentials. We can have a working life of just a couple of decades with more leisure time to pursue interests or volunteer.
Am I dreaming?

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 17/04/2018 01:56

The fetishization of 'hard work' is a big fucking con

That's genuinely thought-provoking. I'm going to ponder this. Interesting thread OP!

Thursdaydreaming · 17/04/2018 02:36

You are right OP. I think part time work would be ideal for me. But it's not that easy of course! In a lot of fields the part time jobs are hard to come by, or aren't as interesting. So if you quit the field and get a part time job in the types of fields part time jobs are common, eg, hospitality, you could ironically end up working harder as these jobs are bloody hard. And for way less money, not just 3/5 if you work three days for example.

Sty90 · 17/04/2018 02:40

Do as you wish, you should do what makes you happy. But you have to be able to be responsible for yourself and your family. Not rely on benefits.

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 17/04/2018 02:50

People who enjoy going to work every day are a mystery to me. Unless you do something genuinely rewarding or you work for yourself, work is literally the worst invention ever.

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 02:57

It’s the crushing daily grind of it that’s depressing. So many hours, too tired when you get home for ACTUAL life.
I like my job much better now I’m retired. I do occasional locum work. 2 days a week for the next month. I am enjoying my work again and remember why I chose it.

SpringNowPlease2018 · 17/04/2018 02:58

With you OP

comfortandjoy · 17/04/2018 03:32

I know . I think that reading on MN people who seem to base their life decisions on working for decades in order to pay into a pension , worried about taking a few years out . I always think they’re wasting their precious years. I’ve always preferred to do a nice, enjoyable job , though it doesn’t pay much. Sometimes I think , let’s sell the house, get rid of this mortgage that we’ll be paying until we’re 75, buy a little house away from it all and live simply with me working part time on my hobby/ job. Need to start planning this instead of dreaming .

AjasLipstick · 17/04/2018 03:33

I agree. I'd rather live a very basic life...enjoying being in the moment and the simple pleasures than work myself into an early grave for a nice car or two and a few holidays a year.

We live in a beautiful area which is the kind of place people come on holiday...we have a wonderful garden and community. It took us YEARS to find this place...and a move overseas.

We're enjoying it NOW not in our retirement. Yes...we aren't well off. We don't eat out or go on swishy weekend breaks....but our children are well fed and go to a nice school, we can afford some extra curricular things for them to do and lots of lovely local days out.

We both work part time.

AjasLipstick · 17/04/2018 03:34

Comfort do it! If you have enough equity...DO IT! Now! How exciting to be in your position.

IntoTheFloodAgain · 17/04/2018 03:51

I agree. I see posts on here all the time that it’s sad if people don’t have ambition to have a big career. I’d rather live than live to work tbh.

The only way a job could make me happy is if it involved being with cats all day.

I work nights in a relatively easy job now, and I’m still looking for a part time job so I can have more time with my family and more time to actually enjoy the house we paid for, not just sleep in it.

truthybeach · 17/04/2018 04:20

I like my job but I think society as a whole would benefit from a 4 day week. I think we would be just as productive but happier.

IamSerena · 17/04/2018 04:21

@hotsouple amazing! Where are you streaming the Real Housewives from???

ohamIreally · 17/04/2018 04:34

*The only way a job could make me happy is if it involved being with cats all day

Intotheflood* I think I love you Smile

NerrSnerr · 17/04/2018 04:37

I agree. As soon as I win enough to pay off the mortgage on the premium bonds I’m handing my notice in.

Want2bSupermum · 17/04/2018 04:38

I don't disagree with you. I've said it multiple times. If I lived in the U.K. I wouldn't bother working. It's not worth it for me. DH earns enough and the taxes combined with higher costs of childcare would make it not worth it. I chuckle to myself when I see articles about the continuing low women in leadership. I'm not surprised at all. I make £110k. I take home about £80k. Childcare alone is £25k. In England I'd be taking home £70k with childcare costs of about £40k. I work 50ish hours a week now.