AIBU to not want to work that hard

[Greentomato82]

Not about SAHM / WOHM but about work generally, men and women alike, DC or no DC. Reading a lot of threads on here people often say they work mainly because they 'want' to work and that it's an important part of their identity etc. I know that some jobs are a real vocation, and obviously we all need money, but surely lots of jobs are a bit meh really and with a lottery win most of us would give it up or at least treat it as more of a hobby? I just seem to hear this more and more, lots about career building and ambition. Frankly I am not going to change the word any time soon and that suits me just fine. I want to rebel a bit and enjoy life. We generally work at least 9-5, 5 days a week for decades to pay the mortgage and bills because that's what we're supposed to do. Those at the top get richer and I can't help but feel like we're gradually being coaxed into a trap of believing our work is more important than it is to justify spending so much time there. I don't like that schools are focused on creating a 'productive' workforce of tomorrow, or that I'm viewed as a unit of productivity and the obsession with GDP. We're not ants surely? Am I the only grumpy one that wants to go off grid and hibernate from all the busy productive people. I'm not lazy but I just don't get it. AIBU?

We know that the richer a person is the longer they live in general and the healthier old age they have so those old people still working and warding off dementia might be ones that have interesting jobs rather than normal jobs.

We also know (Whitehall studies) that if you have a lot of control over your job, self-autonomy, can set your own hours and generally have high control in your life in general, such as those at the managerial/top of organizations/professionals and so on, you will be healthier and less likely to die of a heart attack. It is a myth that those at the top have more stress and have so much pressure this impacts their health- it is those at the bottom, working on zero hours contracts, having little control of the time/manner of their work, fragile employment, that are more at risk.

So, what you do does impact how healthy you are.

Yes agree but I think (could be wrong) that was only on men? I wonder whether women with highly paid husbands who do a little, low responsibility job to "keep their hand in" have the same levels of stress as those working in low paid jobs to pay the bills and feed their families. So I wonder if the picture is now more complex

I can well believe that people who work longer have fewer health issues, but that could be because working longer is easier if you're fit enough to do it. There's a whole cohort of people who would be too ill to continue working even if they wanted to and were going to be financially fucked without it. They might have got cause and effect arse about face there.

So, what you do does impact how healthy you are.

We're always told by the government - don't drink too much, don't smoke, take drugs, eat 5 a day, drink water, avoid fat, salt, sugar and anything tasty because it's good for us. Anyone would mistakenly think the government actually care about our health.

I personally feel that stress, (particularly work stress, or stress from financial hardship due to not being paid properly) has a much bigger impact on our health than any of those things listed above. So why is the government asking us to work harder and harder for less and less all the time? I think they secretly want some of us to die at 65 so they don't have to pay pensions.

I first worked for myself collecting boxes and wood from the local market stalls then breaking them up and selling them to local households in London SE13 in the 1950s. Next, I worked for my father selling sweets then machine parts. Next, I worked for a label maker in IT with triple wages. After, I worked for J Sainsbury IT, which I enjoyed. Next, I worked for DES on Statistics and IT, while studying for my first degree in Maths, stats and computing. I became a programmer then systems analyst, permanent then contract, via agencies or by myself. I worked abroad as acting Director General, supervising and reporting in the morning then relaxing afternoons on the beach, cinemas or libraries. I returned to do Quality Control, factory managing, and more systems analyses at £1000 a week for 35 hours a week. I retired early and am enjoying myself going to air displays, aquariums, boats, cinemas, cruises, dungeons, exhibits, galleries, libraries, museums, restaurants, theatres, zoos etc. Central government is largely run by dedicated civil servants according to Cabinet and legal dictates. Local governments are similar according to Council decisions. Work smart, get qualified or trained continuously then be thankful for a great life.

What was the point of your bragging 'Genius'???

After a medal maybe.

Any kids Genius46 ?

NameChanger - it's not just about not wanting to pay pensions, but also just the fact that all sorts of jobs need to be done. Most of us can't have enjoyable jobs.

This has been a really interesting thread. I’m a fairly well educated person whose parents pushed and pushed for a successful career for each of their kids. Amazingly none of us have one. It’s not laziness, nor lack of ability, but choice. I struggle sometimes as I feel I should have a good career, that I should be a high earner etc etc. I did try it recently, but it made me unbearably miserable and the people I worked with were a bunch of narcissistic idiots and I walked after just a few months. I’ve gone back to a minimum wage job so money is incredibly tight but I go in, do my job, laugh most of the day with my down to earth (and as intelligent as the career job) colleagues and I’m home by school pick up time. I weirdly have days where I cry because I haven’t achieved anything, but I have time to enjoy my kids, to exercise and I laugh so much these days that it doesn’t really matter! I do plan on returning to education because as my kids grow and need me less then I want to be able to have a job that helps people, but the high flying office career? No thanks. My last boss said she wasn’t sure she wanted kids because of how bored she’d be on maternity leave and how much she’d miss work. meanwhile I lamented the fact i could no longer waste entire days playing in the sand and considered maybe just 1 more child so I could have another year off (ok, I took 2 years off each time!)

Genius: you lived through the greatest redistribution of wealth and uplifting of poorer people this country has ever seen, pretty much. I'm sure you worked hard and deserve to have done well, but it is not possible for a young person today to progress the way you did.

genius don't worry. These posters think that everyone on minimum wage deserves the same pay as people like yourself you have sought an education and qualifications to enable you to earn more. They don't accept that it's not luck or an abnormal ability which enables you to earn enough to have a good life.

Yeah, there was no luck involved at all. Righty ho. Mmmkay.

I must be the only the only person on this this thread who finds work easier than childcare though.

Kind of sad though..l just think capitalism dosnt work..
Having said that if noone worked we would be in a right old mess...
We cant all spend our time doing craft projects and working out ...much as id love to!!

It's not just about not wanting to pay pensions, but also just the fact that all sorts of jobs need to be done. Most of us can't have enjoyable jobs.

I think a lot more jobs could be a lot more enjoyable if it weren't for bad office politics, terrible management, bad treatment of low-paid employees, crazy targets which keep on rising, completely unnecessary tasks, high stress, profit hungry companies/shareholders and what often seems to be a joy in making those beneath you as miserable possible.

I quite like the work I do, it's just all the other shit that comes with it that makes me want to give up and die young.

I think many people are frustrated in their fulltime jobs because they can afford finally to go part time but the opportunities are no longer there. In the public sector, when the recession hit, the part time jobs were the first to go, before the big guns came out and shot down full time posts as well.

Now we are in a situation where the “lucky” people left in the fulltime jobs are stressed to the max with one full time person doing the work of what used to be done by 1.5 up to 2-2.5 people. It’s stress, stress, stress all day and breaks are rushed or not taken at all. The golden age of “the lunch hour” seem to be disappearing from a lot of workplaces.

Personally, I’m at a stage of life where I don’t NEED to work full time. We could live a simpler happier family life if I was at home more than I am, as DH works long hours sometimes. It would relieve the strain on all of us.

BUT. All the part-time jobs seem to have disappeared. Unless it’s very low-paid retail work, the 18.5 hours per week jobs at a low-middle wage seem to have just vanished off the face of the earth. For me, it seems to be a choice between unhappily working full time (and thus earning more money than we actually need) and going part time in a role which either pays far too low or is zero hours type of contract, and then not having enough money to live on.

In the meantime I know I’m lucky to have extra money to spend on weekends away or whatever, but sometimes itMs just the little things that are more enjoyable and which contribute more to well-being, like sitting out back in the sunshine with a cuppa for half an hour, making a home-cooked meal that everyone really enjoys, making our garden look nice, reading the newspaper, having everyone’s bloody socks and undies actually in their sock draw (and not in big piles of laundry waiting to be sorted so that at 7am the stress starts when no-one can find a clean pair of socks.). Doing a leisurely supermarket shop in the middle of a weekday and not in a hurried dash after a day at work

I think part time work is the perfect set up in which to appreciate both the workplace and the domestic environment. All one or all the other wouldn’t suit me I don’t think.

"the 18.5 hours per week jobs at a low-middle wage seem to have just vanished off the face of the earth. "

I don't really know what you're talking about. When I'm looking for full time jobs I get frustrated by the amount of part time jobs there are.

I'm a 50yr old woman, and know 7 women of around my age who are signed off with stress at the moment, 3 teachers, 1 lawyer, 2 creatives and a civil servant. It seems that all of us are really struggling with the modern day set up of full time work and parenting. It seems ok when your young and full of vim and vigour, but when you get older the struggle to get everything done just seems utterly draining and demoralising. Stop the world we want to get off!

What sorts of area and salary are you talking gwen?

I am in my 50s.

My 5 closest friends all jumped off the bandwagon when they had kids- 20 years ago-none went back to their previous careers. Not sure why we have gravitated- similar mindset perhaps.

None need stress counselling- that'[s for sure!

So me-

Research chemist- now a crafter
Friend 1. Civil servant- now an artist

1. TV producer- now runs artisan food company.
2. Nurse- runs an alternative health clinic
3. Nanny- now runs a landscape garden company
4. Psychologist- now a self employed technical writer,

Speakout are you and your friends making a similar income that you were when working in traditional FT jobs?

My observation is that many women my age (almost 50) are able to make the leap from working FT to these 'artisanal' jobs as artist, craftsperson etc because they have someone (usually DH, working in a traditional FT role) supplementing their income. It's just very ingenuous to suggest that that making the leap from working 9-5 to being an artist can cover all one's bills. Or that setting up an alternative food company is risk free or that one person can absorb the risk.

When you're single you don't have the extra income as a buffer nor can you take as many risks and 'walk out' of the 9-5.

I just wish women would acknowledge the support they have in 'income from men' and the amazing buffer that gives them to have the freedom that they gloat about.

meant to read 'disingenuous' not 'ingenuous'..... Haven't had my coffee yet!

I think Stephen Hawking was right when he said never give up work as it gives your life purpose. If you’re in a job where you make an impact I believe this to be true (I didn’t a few years ago!) I think life is to be enjoyed to the full and we all need time out at different times, sometimes maybe years, but ultimately I personally want to feel like I made some small difference while I was here for the greater gain not just for my own.

Curlyhaired assassin, I agree that part time jobs are hard to come by nowadays. I am fortunate to be on a 15 hour per week contract but looking for another job for various reasons and nearly everything is full time unless it's a zero hours contract.