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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for £240 for hen party?

605 replies

Ihatemyclients · 19/03/2018 15:22

Timely thread since there was another about hen party costs earlier!

I want to know - is this unreasonable for 2 nights' accommodation in a Scottish castle, all food, all decor / games / activities, and about 1.5 bottles of prosecco per person? So basically everything except additional alcohol the hens may want to bring.

I wanted it to cost a lot less than this but this is the cheapest I've managed to get it and still accommodate the bride's wishes. The main cost is the accommodation as options were limited for the number of people coming (she has a huge number of friends apparently!). I could make some savings by getting rid of the prosecco but it only knocks a couple of pounds off of the end bill (because I'm getting it dead cheap from a friend who is a wine merchant). On everything else I've gone as low as I think I reasonably can.

I just feel bad because I've resented being asked to pay through the nose for hen parties before. What do you think? Is it a totally unreasonable amount?

OP posts:
BrazzleDazzleDay · 19/03/2018 15:25

Absolutely taking the piss

Winosaurus · 19/03/2018 15:25

That’s not bad considering it includes all food etc. Most hen dos cost £100 at least plus then all the extras on food and travel etc
£240 for everything for a weekend isn’t bad at all

RedPandaMama · 19/03/2018 15:25

Does the £240 include travel? If not, depending where people are travelling from it could be another hundred on top to get there.

It is a lot but it sounds like a lovely hen do. If it's the bride's wishes people are welcome to say they cant attend, aren't they?

Winosaurus · 19/03/2018 15:26

Sorry does that include travel?

ShatnersBassoon · 19/03/2018 15:26

Where are the guests traveling from? Are they all already in Scotland?

user1471459936 · 19/03/2018 15:27

If a lot are invited and so some can't come will it massively push up the price for those attending?

Dumbotheelephant · 19/03/2018 15:27

I would only spend that much if it was for a really close friend and she had her heart set on that idea.

kinorsam · 19/03/2018 15:27

You need to get the bride to contact everyone who will be invited, and she needs to ask them if that is ok or too much money.

She'll soon find out whether her wishes can be accommodated or not from their reaction!

Chrys2017 · 19/03/2018 15:27

And presumably not all of the 'hens' are local to the castle, so you need to figure in transportation costs that could be several hundred pounds if they are coming by train from the south of England, for example.
I think you might find your guest list is dramatically reduced once you make the details known.

HuskyMcClusky · 19/03/2018 15:27

Umm. I think that’s ridiculous.

Why does it have to be a weekend? What happened to having a hen’s night?

Tensecondrule · 19/03/2018 15:27

I think it sounds reasonable for what's on offer and I would happily pay it, but whether all those invited think so depends on their budget! it's very difficult when there are a lot of people involved, you're bound to get some who will say they can't afford it. Are they all aware that there's a full weekend away planned?

Coldilox · 19/03/2018 15:28

Whatever happened to a night out?

£240 isn't bad for all that, but tbh 2 nights away etc is too much. A decent night out is plenty. I'd rather save the money towards a proper holiday with my family.

BeanFobbedOff · 19/03/2018 15:28

Was there any discussion about budget beforehand? Whether it is expensive or not totally depends on the individuals and their expectations.
1.5 bottles of Prosecco seems like an odd amount though - either do none, or lots more.

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 19/03/2018 15:28

Is the cost going to go up if people don't attend? Because at that cost I would expect many won't. And if it gets more expensive then more will drop out etc etc.

Original poster
Ihatemyclients · 19/03/2018 15:29

It doesn't include travel for everyone - most hens are in Scotland so we will share cars to keep costs down, but 2 are coming up from London. Feel especially bad for them because it will definitely be another £50-£100 for them to travel Sad it's so hard to find the right balance. I will totally understand if people don't want to come as a result but the bride might be upset - and of course if people don't come it increases the cost for others because the accommodation is a fixed cost

OP posts:
PissedOnMyCornflakes · 19/03/2018 15:29

No way would I spend that. Can't you just go out one evening in your local area?

HeedMove · 19/03/2018 15:30

I personally wouldn't pay that to stay in Scotland. We went abroad all inclusive for three nights for 140. How many people is there? What area of Scotland.

MsHarry · 19/03/2018 15:30

I wouldn't want to pay that.I think brides need to realise that nobody else is as excited about their wedding as they are. For most people, they want to have a night out and that's it.

Dvg · 19/03/2018 15:30

i think its ridiculous seem as not Everyone cares about the Hen do.. its just a thing for the Bride and so not everyone wants to dish over £200+ just to please her.

Yes its fun.. but if i'm spending that amount of money on a 2 night trip away .. id rather decide myself where and when im going. What happened to normal hen dos,

Just book a Air B&B in the area or a small train fare away for the weekend and get hammered.

RunMummyRun68 · 19/03/2018 15:30

what are the activities?

i'd be expecting costs to increased few won't come

Avasarala · 19/03/2018 15:31

I'll spend that on a nice dinner out so for a couple if nights with friends, I'd not have an issue. But do your group of friends spend that kind of money to go out? It's really hard to answer that as for some people, £240 is a LOT and for others, it's a night out. If you roughly know people's budgets, you can tell better than us if they'll be happy to pay or do it grudgingly.

MammaH2018 · 19/03/2018 15:31

Absolutely ridiculous I’m afraid!!!! Unless the hens are local they will
Also have to pay for travel to the castle plus the additional alcohol. So realisticly this will easily push it over the £300 mark. Plus they will all then have the expense of the actual
Wedding to pay for (travel/present/outfit/drinks/accommodation) it’s just way too much to expect people to pay for.
What’s wrong with taking the bride to be our for a meal/drinks and just having a bloody good night out? Why does it have to turn into a huge big weekend away/trip abroad? Crazy.

mojito55 · 19/03/2018 15:32

What activities does it include? I'm surprised accommodation is so expensive for a large number of people.

PissedOnMyCornflakes · 19/03/2018 15:32

I doubt if many will want to go. The bride is crazy if she thinks that acceptable.

Original poster
Ihatemyclients · 19/03/2018 15:32

Totally agree with people saying what's wrong with a night out - that's what I did and it served me fine! But the bride has been quite specific about what she wants (she's not a bridezilla but she has been really clear on her preferences!).

I probably need to tell her I'm worried and ask if we can have a cheaper plan b for if lots of her friends don't want to come

OP posts:
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