Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This going to happen

251 replies

MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 20:52

Family get-together this weekend
My parents have found out that my faux-brother-law (they’re not married) is heavily in debt - 40k

They have a beautiful little son. He’s nearly 2.

Their own relationship is shite. No joint account he has Good job always skint

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/03/2018 20:54

What's the issue, exactly?

falsepriest · 13/03/2018 20:56

Right, and...?

This is AmIBeingUnreasonable not GeneralTediousBollocks.

DalekDalekDalek · 13/03/2018 21:00

Thanks for sharing.

19lottie82 · 13/03/2018 21:02

What’s you AIBU?

Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:09

He hasn’t told my sister he’s heavily in debt. And now we know and she does not

OP posts:
Hissy · 13/03/2018 21:10

Firstly if he’s in a relationship with your sister that’s produced a child then to all intents and purposes he’s a bil, so less of the faux- it shows your ignorance and it’s very ugly, reflects 100% on you.

This gossip is literally NOTHING to do with you... OR your parents tbh.

Rather than come on here with your titbits, why not call your sister and see if she’s ok, and what you can do to help her?

ThePinkOcelot · 13/03/2018 21:11

How do you know?

JustHereForThePooStories · 13/03/2018 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nicknacky · 13/03/2018 21:12

How do you your parents know and your sister doesn’t?

alligatortoss · 13/03/2018 21:12

She needs to know. It will impact her credit rating if she’s linked to him financially.

Also what if the bailiffs come knocking.

DalekDalekDalek · 13/03/2018 21:13

WTF? You sister doesn't know but you do? How does coming and having a gossip on line about it help?

alligatortoss · 13/03/2018 21:13

This happened to me friend, her finance hid his debt from her. She almost called off the wedding.

Sarsparella · 13/03/2018 21:14

How do you/they know & be so sure your sister doesn’t know? What business is it of yours anyway? Just because he has debts to pay doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person, plenty of people have cars on loans, new kitchens on but now pay later, huge mortgages? So what?

Sarsparella · 13/03/2018 21:15

Also what if the bailiffs come knocking

Don’t be so melodramatic, as long as payments are made there’s no suggestion of bailiffs - they don’t just show up unannounced unless he’s stopped making payments

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/03/2018 21:17

How did they find out?

Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:20

Ok; not necessarily in order of havings-a-go:

My faux BIL - no, we are not tied by law. He’s not my brother-in-law.

He acts like one, but he isn’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:24

Is there nobody that would think it reasonable to bring their debt to the table when beginning or going on with a v serious relationship??!

OP posts:
MadMags · 13/03/2018 21:24

Wtf?!

Nicknacky · 13/03/2018 21:25

How does anyone else know???

DalekDalekDalek · 13/03/2018 21:26

How do you know but your sister doesn't?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/03/2018 21:31

Does he know that you know? How did you find out?

Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:32

My parents heard that has debt. He used to buy her lovely gifts and bits when they were first going out.
He has a well-paid job.
Parents & sis+him+baby went on hols, parents picked up the majority of the bills. This wasn’t agreed.
They have a small rent.

OP posts:
Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:32

He does not know that I know

OP posts:
Original poster
MollyWantsACracker · 13/03/2018 21:33

dalek he hid it

OP posts:
BlondeB83 · 13/03/2018 21:33

You sound awful.