Ridiculous parenting advice

[GreasyHairDoNotCare]

Aibu to ask you what the most ridiculous bit of parenting advice that you've ever been given is?

I can think of a few but these stand out to me

'It's good for him to cry like that, gets the air to his lungs, leave him for a while'- DS was screaming with teething pain and wanted comforting

'Can't you just lay him in the bath, he'll hold his breath obviously' - no DS will drown if I do that

To get a toddler to stop hitting / pushing, Look them in the eye and say “don’t hit”

Setting down a plate of treats and expecting toddlers to "Share nicely!" unsupervised.

My DS went through a biting phase. I've lost count of the people that told me that the only way to stop him was to bite him back! He's 2!!

My ex MIL. In a drunken conversation told me to put my 2 pre teenage girls on the pill by slipping it into their meals as all the girls in her family (meaning cousins) had babies while at school. Wasn't true but the she was a stupid cow anyway so I went no contact.

After getting home on a very hot day (tropical) "Wait half an hour before you feed the baby because your milk will be too hot and it will taste spoiled"
😂

With DS, first baby, at about 8 weeks old

I took him to his baby massage class and the leader of the class would make us sing a stupid song about whether or not our baby had slept through the night before.

I was the only one whose baby hadn't.

She didn't look at me but said to the room at large, 'if your baby isn't sleeping through the night by now you should really get some extra support'

Took every ounce of self control not to tell her to fuck.right.off.

It made me feel like absolute shit for weeks as I tried to establish breastfeeding and still to this day I'd love to know what 'support' she meant!

Maybe a magical HV who comes and lives with you and makes your baby sleep?

Or did she just mean 'support' as in, education as I'm clearly an idiot and don't know what to do to get an 8 week old not to wake up at night?

I honestly hate that woman.

HV told our baby group not to bother getting our baby a Christmas present and to save the money to go to nandos with our partner instead.

Exmil had many pearls of wisdom. She gave my colicky twins gripe water as she was convinced it would help. It made them worse. Projectile vomit in the early hours x2 is not fun but she was quite insistent. Also they needed fresh air every day even though I was struggling to get through the basics most days in the first 3 months and it was winter and freezing. And I was a dreadful mother because I caused my ds's severe autism by giving him the mmr.

Nomad I quite like that advice actuallly 😂

Nomad - that's great advice! (Maybe not nandos though)

I think I took offence because I have an irrational hatred for nandos.

HV told me not to drink fizzy drinks when breastfeeding.

SayNoToCarrots 😂 that is brilliant

To keep a nappy on ds at all times or he will get sexual feelings if he is naked (exmil )

(may explain why exh had never seen a lady garden until I was GIVING BIRTH to ds!)

Nomad - that's great advice!

My health visitors only advice for my extremely refluxy 4 month old was not to feed her curry

April - that's just.........wow. I have no words.

Sparkle - that's hilarious!! Actually it's not. That hv is working with mums who are younger, more naive and/or vulnerable than yourself in that they will just do as they're told....

HV told our baby group not to bother getting our baby a Christmas present and to save the money to go to nandos with our partner instead

Nomad, bar the Nando’s bit I think that was good advice! A meal with your partner would probably be far more useful than presents for a baby.
Love the BF-ing/milk spoiling one.
My auntie told me to weigh the baby before and after every feed to know how much she was getting because apparently my baby was on the breast too much (she was 6 weeks old at the time). Didn’t account for the fact that she had reflux and was sick at some point during/after every feed (should I weigh the sick?!) etc.
She also told me I shouldn’t pick her up except for 4 hourly feeds as it would ‘spoil’ her.

The only one I can offer is a very old chestnut: "don't hold her too much/let her cry for a bit/ you're spoiling her." Said about my three month old daughter.

HV telling us when our new born was a week or so old that 'no newborn baby only breastfeeds every 4hrs; she must have a metabolic disease' and promptly sent us to the hospital, terrified!! Paediatrician took one look at said baby and told us to go home and wrote a strongly worded letter to the HV and GP!!!
Same HV refused to see my baby when my mother took her to be weighed as I was trying to finish some work (so I could then have 8 months maternity leave!) And said I was a neglectful mother!!!

Don't let them sleep on you (day time) they will get too clingy.
Don't go straight to them when they start crying, they will come to needy.

My old GP regarding ds’s autism ‘don’t worry he will grow out of it once he starts school’

Development Paed ‘he is too bright to have autism’

CAMHS ‘what makes you think he has autism’ his diagnosis!

From other mums

‘leave him to head butt the floor, they never do it hard enough to hurt themselves’

‘If he lived with me for a week, he would be eating x, y, z’ (in relation to his limited diet)

From teachers

‘He only has those difficulties on paper’ (talking about expert reports)

‘Have you tried, telling him to go to sleep’ why didn’t I think of that!

The list is endless!

"Don't breastfeed after he turns 1 as your milk will be spoilt"

Erm milk gets made all the time. It's not been floating round in my body since he was born