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Ridiculous parenting advice

303 replies

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 05/03/2018 12:29

Aibu to ask you what the most ridiculous bit of parenting advice that you've ever been given is?

I can think of a few but these stand out to me

'It's good for him to cry like that, gets the air to his lungs, leave him for a while'- DS was screaming with teething pain and wanted comforting

'Can't you just lay him in the bath, he'll hold his breath obviously' - no DS will drown if I do that

OP posts:
Aprilmightmemynewname · 06/03/2018 08:53

In the dark under the duvet! He never touched it either!! Blush

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/03/2018 08:54

April Grin

Idontdowindows · 06/03/2018 08:55

"If he won't eat it, just put it away and give it to him again in the morning. Don't give him anything else for breakfast until he has eaten that."

Yah, I know, I saw the green fluff on your son's porridge after three days. And you wonder why his guts are off.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass · 06/03/2018 08:55

I've been on a fair amount of Facebook parenting groups recently so I've seen loads!

"It's dangerous to completely quit smoking during pregnancy! The stress of having no nicotine can make you haemorrhage and miscarry, It happened to me at 6 weeks!"

"Baby rice in a bottle at 3mo is perfectly fine. Some babies are just hungry and ready for solids earlier than others and women used to do this all the time years ago with no issue. The weaning guidelines are always bloody changing anyway!"

"Expressing bottles for dad to give means you don't have to wake up through the night"

I could go on..

MereDintofPandiculation · 06/03/2018 08:56

Remember that when you are all old enough to be GPs (or, horror of horrors, MILs) It will be your advice that is being held up to ridicule in whatever takes the place of mumsnet.

mygoditsfullofstars · 06/03/2018 08:57

Invite the kid that is horribly bullying your child to his/her party so s/he doesn't feel left out (as seen on MN).

Soubriquet · 06/03/2018 08:57

I got the "baby was crying too much because you keep picking him up"

No actually, the poor sod was in agony as he was undiagnosed with CMPA and the only thing that helped was sucking on a bottle...which started it all up again.

Shedmicehugh · 06/03/2018 08:59

April Shock never touched or seen one!! I’m thinking of 40 year old virgin scenarios Grin

reluctantbrit · 06/03/2018 09:00

HV told me not to drink fizzy drinks when breastfeeding.

This is actually not a bad advise for a colicky baby or one with reflux. I was on a non-fizzy diet for 5 months (plus other things) when bf as it reduced the amount of problems with reflux significantly.

Since then I really don't like still water unless it is ice cold.

Idontdowindows · 06/03/2018 09:00

Remember that when you are all old enough to be GPs (or, horror of horrors, MILs)

Too late dear, I already am both.

thegreatbeyond · 06/03/2018 09:06

That I should 'discipline' DS2 (9 months) by stopping using a sling.

fuckoffsnow · 06/03/2018 09:07


If I was a GP or MIL giving out this calibre of advice, I'd be worried if I wasn't being ridiculed.

Chienrouge · 06/03/2018 09:07

Remember that when you are all old enough to be GPs (or, horror of horrors, MILs)

My mum is both a GP and a MIL. She is sensible enough to know that advice has changed somewhat since she had her children over 30 years ago, and even reads up a bit about it. She might make suggestions based on her experience but would never tell me that what I was doing was ‘wrong’.
Hopefully I’ll be like her if/when I’m a GP or a MIL.

Fintress · 06/03/2018 09:08

"Wake her and feed her right now". My HV when she discovered my week old daughter had been asleep for 6 hours. I didn't. I fed on demand and she slept all night from 6 weeks old.

Trampire · 06/03/2018 09:10

Some MIL gems...

MIL (on seeing my 10 months old dd starting to try to walk) ....

"You shouldn't let her do that, she'll get bendy legs and she'll have to wear leg splints for the rest of her life"

"You shouldn't bother making them all that homemade rubbish. Just buy a small tin of baked beans and sausages everyday"

"You really shouldn't take them to the cinema as nits live in the seats"

"You shouldn't take them swimming as they'll catch veruccas"

When we converted our loft into two bedrooms for the dcs with skylights, she declared them awfully dangerous as the dcs could get a box, a chair and a pillow to reach the catch and open it (upwards Hmm). This was somehow more dangerous than the room they shared before with a big HUGE window that easily opened inwards.

At 13 dd shouldn't walk anywhere OUTSIDE on her own because of all these new peodophiles.

AliceThrewTheFookingGlass · 06/03/2018 09:11

The most ridiculous advice actually given to me was from someone I went to school with. I hadn't seen or spoken to her for years but when a mutual friend liked a photo of my child I was tagged in on Facebook by a family member she took it upon herself to inbox me saying that she's worked in a nursery as part of her college course for a couple of months now and if I need any parenting advice to just ask her. She then included helpful and insightful little tips such as 'make sure you play with your baby, it's not good for them to sit or lay down all day' and 'make sure baby has bright toys to play with as they really like bright colours' in the next paragraph.

This was before my kids destroyed most of my patience because I replied saying 'thanks for that' instead of telling her to fuck off for being a patronising mare.

schnubbins · 06/03/2018 09:17

"He will get a bladder infection if you leave him go barefoot"

Clandestino · 06/03/2018 09:19

Nurse about my breastfed daughter: She's a bit on the scrawny side, we'll have to watch her weight and top up with formula.
Funny thing is, at 8y DD is 19 pounds lighter than me, almost my size and can deliver a kick that makes her taekwondo trainer proud.

saoirsesoige · 06/03/2018 09:21

most of MN?

Ickyockycocky · 06/03/2018 09:27

From my mum, hold him on the potty from about three months so he gets used to it.

ExhaustedAndHormonal · 06/03/2018 09:31

I was told when my DS was a toddler, when he bit me in frustration as his snack ran out.. To bite him back, wtf? As aparantly it worked for her kids!
No I Simply moved him off my lap, sat him. Away from me and told him that it wasn't nice to do..
Was so embarrassed to be honest as was in a public place and it bloody hurt. But never would I bite or harm my child

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 06/03/2018 09:34

Couldn't think of one initially but this came back to me:

DS2 had issues with crying all his air out, then failing to breathe in, passing out and NOT starting to breathe again. He did eventually but I still always did gentle chest compressions until he started breathing again, mostly to try and "kickstart" his diaphragm into working again (hopeful).
He mostly did it when he'd hurt himself, although occasionally it was also through a tantrum.
Of course I took him to the GP, and was referred to a paediatrician - who said some kids just do that and he should grow out of it by the time he's 3. So when he did it again after faceplanting on a concrete path (he ran off in front of me at school pick up), and he was out of it for nearly a minute and then quite disorientated when he came round, I went back to the GP who then told me that her son used to do similar (yeah ok, I've since learnt that whatever you turn up with, either she or her family have had it too) but she just used to "talk calmly to him, and make him calm down and behave properly".
Yes, because you can do that when your child has just screamed all his air out of his lungs and can't breathe in again, can't you. It wasn't a fucking temper tantrum, he'd HURT himself! It only took seconds for him to pass out, there was literally NO time to "talk calmly" to him to prevent it. Hmm

At other times, IF I could catch him before he got to the point of having cried all his air out, blowing hard into his face could get him to take a breath - but talking to him had fuck all effect.

codswallopandbalderdash · 06/03/2018 09:34

Yes the 'bite him back - he won't do it again' advice is shite really isn't it?

Along with 'let him do x' (usually something a bit silly/dangerous) - 'he won't do it again'. This to a 2/3 year old who can't remember what they had for lunch an hour ago ...

Sleepyblueocean · 06/03/2018 09:34

"Why don't you make him do it" type stuff about a child with asd and a learning disability who really can't do it.
'They all get there in the end' no they don't.
Lies, unlawful statements and utter bollocks from the local authority.

cocobilly · 06/03/2018 09:44

Tooooo many to count.... the highlights were—

“Never breastfeed past a year, the baby will become too spoilt and throw tantrums all the time!”

And an HV who told me my EBF 4month old was going to end up overweight, and to give water instead of feeding him when he was hungry 😕

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