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Ridiculous parenting advice

303 replies

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 05/03/2018 12:29

Aibu to ask you what the most ridiculous bit of parenting advice that you've ever been given is?

I can think of a few but these stand out to me

'It's good for him to cry like that, gets the air to his lungs, leave him for a while'- DS was screaming with teething pain and wanted comforting

'Can't you just lay him in the bath, he'll hold his breath obviously' - no DS will drown if I do that

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GreasyHairDoNotCare · 06/03/2018 08:09

Oh yeah the classic let them cry and don't pick them up or you will spoil them is so infuriating.

Mil once said that I brought ds's clinginess on myself because I never put him down. Funny enough mil you can't see me everyday when I am alone with DS so how can you possibly know that (fwiw i did put him down for naps etc). I also never put him die in your house because you're dog seems to enjoy kicking ever inch of his face whilst you sit there letting him do it after being told multiple times not to!!

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MereDintofPandiculation · 06/03/2018 08:11

Exmil had many pearls of wisdom. She gave my colicky twins gripe water as she was convinced it would help. Since gripe water is intended for colic, that wasn't necessarily bad advice. I t was standard advice when mine were babies. Although questions are now being asked about its efficacy, and it may owe more to the bicarb than the dill. (And maybe even more to the alcohol that they removed form the formula in about the 60s).

Buggeritimgettingup · 06/03/2018 08:11

A person who had never met seen or known our kids told me I shouldn't feed my youngest (of 6) full fat anything.....he has cp, hydrocephalus and is currently dropping off the 2nd centile amd is already on fortifying drinks with a view to a peg if he doesn't start stabilising.... She can Fuck right off.

On a lighter note playing dolls will mean he catches the gay...... Yes grandma....

dontquotemeondailymail · 06/03/2018 08:17

Not me but a friend... in the Spring, beautiful sunny weather, not too hot, not too cold - a HV told her she shouldn't ever take her 13 week old son out for a walk, or to meet up with friends as 'baby will be much better off in the house all day, so they can focus on mum'


Spam88 · 06/03/2018 08:18

It's not that it's dreadful advice, but the one that would really give me the rage was 'oh just put her somewhere quiet and she'll go to sleep'. My daughter is a champion non-sleeper, she will not and has not ever self-settled, so when I'm moaning to you that I've been rocking/feeding/blasting white noise in a dark room for an hour and a half and she's STILL screaming, really all I'm looking for is a bit of sympathy.

Some of these are great though. I think I've actually heard the thing about fizzy drinks making your milk fizzy before 😂 imagine. And eyebaggage my 9.5 month old still has never slept through the night, so I definitely need some support 😬 I'm assuming this comes in the form of someone bearing chocolate..?

vandrew4 · 06/03/2018 08:18

HV told our baby group not to bother getting our baby a Christmas present and to save the money to go to nandos with our partner instead
I think that's excellent advice. waste of money buying presents for babies

fuckoffsnow · 06/03/2018 08:19

"have another baby so they'll have someone to play with" Hmm

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 06/03/2018 08:20

Reading all these i am rather grateful that I have a nice normal health visitor 😂

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ethelfleda · 06/03/2018 08:24

Trying to establish bf'ing in hospital after having DS - asked for help as he wasn't latching on. Midwife said 'maybe he isnt hungry and is just playing with your nipple' Hmm

PeerieBreeks · 06/03/2018 08:25



(may explain why exh had never seen a lady garden until I was GIVING BIRTH to ds!)

Not even yours? Confused

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/03/2018 08:26

Put baby in a sling so you can get on with all your housework hands free*
I tried this once and hated it. I'd just given birth to a 9lb baby and the last thing I wanted to do was walk around feeling pregnant again. Hoovering with a baby strapped to you is practically impossible.

(*this was in the olden days before slings were the in thing- they may have improved in design)

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 06/03/2018 08:29

She’ll eat when she’s hungry, children never starve themselves.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/03/2018 08:31

If I continued to carry my toddler while heavily pregnant, my baby would be born with a broken arm.
If I went swimming while pregnant, 'your bones will open and you'll lose the baby'.
I should cover the baby's face when taking her out after dark, because of noxious dangers from the night air.
And I 'must' start potty training at 12 months.

All of these from (European) non- Brits.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 06/03/2018 08:34

If you tickle a baby's feet you'll give them a stutter.

seizethecuttlefish · 06/03/2018 08:36

Mil when my DS was weaning, "have you tried him on cola yet? His cousins love it" This is a theme with that family. Their 6 yr old has also had teeth pulled and fillings in his baby teeth! She used to try and force juice on him. She had hundreds of these ideas. Letting 2 nephews, who are reprobates cut up things in the house with scissors, as it teaches them coordination.
My ds (5) was going through a period of making a bedtime a nightmare. Bil (father of said nephews) "get him a tv and he can fall asleep watching it". Erm no. He also lets his kids watch YouTube without any checks. The 9 yr old has a snapchat and instagram acct!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/03/2018 08:38

HV to a friend, re ff big baby who was only weeks old and always hungry, , 'You must treat him like an alcoholic and strictly give him just X ounces of formula X times a day,'
Though this was decades ago and glad to say friend ignored it.

fuckoffsnow · 06/03/2018 08:40

Surely you should cover your baby's face when you take her out after dark to avoid the spider willies?

CaMePlaitPas · 06/03/2018 08:41

Nomad - I don't think that's bad advice, but she could have recommended something a bit better than Nando's...

Chienrouge · 06/03/2018 08:43

If you tickle a baby's feet you'll give them a stutter

Ah yes. According to my grandmother, if I tickled my baby or pushed her over cobbles in her pushchair I’d give her epilepsy.

CaMePlaitPas · 06/03/2018 08:44

Don't let your baby nap during the day, they will sleep better at night!

Interestingly, always said to me by people who don't have children.

ThatsNotMyUnicorn · 06/03/2018 08:45

It was suggested by my in-laws to give my DD who was 11 weeks at the time coke to get rid of her hiccups! They also suggested at 8 weeks old shutting her in the shed when she's upset so I'm not 'tempted' to pick her up and she'll learn not to be clingy!'s safe to say I've always turned down their offers of babysitting and I don't plan on leaving DD alone with them.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 06/03/2018 08:48

Give him cooled boiled water off a spoon (the spoon part was apparently very important) as a cure for everything - colicky crying, going to sleep crying, witching hour crying, teething crying...

My DM wasn't even old for old wives' tales, she was only c 50 when I had DS!

toolonglurking · 06/03/2018 08:48

My HV tried to convince me that my 15 month old wasn't walking because I'd bought him the wrong shoes.

MIL is genuinely angry that I didn't give DC tea to drink from 2/3 months onwards.

Aprilmightmemynewname · 06/03/2018 08:49

Peerie nope not even mine. .
He was 45 when I had ds!!

Chienrouge · 06/03/2018 08:51

Peerie nope not even mine. .
He was 45 when I had ds!!

Err... how did you conceive said baby? Confused

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