To tell these performance parents ...

[pieceofpurplesky]

To shut the fuck up?
In A&E with DS waiting for X-ray results with two very vocal performing parents.
'Look Livvy the book has a chicken. What does a chicken say Livvy'
'Oh Livvy you are so clever'
'Livvy look at the nice nurse. What does a nurse do Livvy?'.
'Stop walking away Livvy, I am reading a story. You need to listen Livvy it's a good story'
And on and on and on

All poor Livvy wants to do is bash a toy car on a table and play with a teapot.

Are you Livvy?

I don't let it bother me, their child, their choice of how to parent.

I wish I was. Poor kid just wants to play with Tye and his split head!

oh this would really wind me up if I was waiting in A&E :-(

Total YABU from me. I was in A&E recently and I was also having a very stressful time whilst 'performance parenting'.

In fact, I ended up reading a story and talking through the book with 2 other strangers children about ducks and aliens and fuck knows what else.

Perhaps the other parent who's having some sort of crisis as well is getting through it as best they can?

Ah Blackteadrinker I would not normally bother but I am on my second hour of the performance. They have every right to perform parent how they want but poor little Livvy is as fucked off as the rest of us

I had mates like this, except their kid was Lucy.

The poor mite didn't get a second of time or space to herself. Not a minute with her own thoughts.

Every moment was filled with, Lucy! Lucy! Lucy..!

How fucking draining.

I was on a train a few years ago with the world's loudest performance parenter. The whole carriage got to hear about Matthew's Japanese stir-fry he'd had for lunch, the fact he could count to 10 in both English and French (he demonstrated neither but that didn't stop his mum counting loudly and clapping him at the end) and a whole host of other pretentious things.

She went on and on and on at poor Matthew, who wanted to do nothing other than just continue picking his nose and gazing out of the window.

So when she produced a babywipe and started scrubbing him, he clearly screamed "STOP FOR FUCK SAKE!!"

She was absolutely mortified, went beetroot red and exclaimed loudly, "What's that Matthew? Stop fussing? Ok mummy with stop fussing now".

Then the woman sitting behind her turned to her and said, "Oh no dear, I think you heard him wrong. He asked you to stop for fuck sake.

Cue silent mortification all around for the rest of the journey

Hmm Glo no crisis to be seen as we already know about their recent holiday to Florida and Daddy's new Audi and the expensive surprise he has for his wife for Valentine's Day ....
Livvy is not Ill she has hurt her finger.
If they were struggling to cope I would have sympathy. Yes I know there are hidden things but I just wish they would hide their boastful and boring performance a bit more!

Oh yes driggle totally checking out if we are listening

GloGirl exactly it might be to distract themselves from worrying.

I have to talk to my 5 year old in a strident, booming voice most of winter as she gets bad glue ear and can’t hear me, especially when out and about. I hate it as I’m quiet, and can see people turn their heads when I speak to her. I know what they’re thinking. YABU.

Twirly she can clearly hear them. I think everyone in a five mile radius can - the daughter is answering. They really have no need at all to talk so loudly in a confined space. Think stage voices in a room that is 12x12

There are only 12 seats and they are squashed together

Twirly that isn't performance parenting.

PP is about talking through your child to an 'audience' around you, so everyone gets to clear how clever the child apparently is, how they love rice cakes and hate McDonalds, how they're only 3 and their apparently on the second set of Harry Potter books and reading independently...that sort of thing.

It's about pure boasting, not just loud talking.

*hear, not clear.

Exactly worra

That’s when you get on your phone and shout to the other person “what’s that? I can’t hear you... can you repeat that? No no, over the top performance parenting I’m at afraid... yeah, everyone deals with stress differently but Honestly we’re now in hour two of this shite

Oh god. I feel for you and poor Livvy.

We went to watch ninja warrior uk and had to queue up for about 2 hours (never again) but we were stood behind a performance parent, who every time he 'did' something with/to the kids he would turn round and look at us to check we had heard/seen.

Complete and utter twonk.

It's funny though when the kid gets older.

So if the parent says loudly to...say a 5 year old (or in other words the people in the vicinity) "Now Isabella, this Happy Meal is a complete rarity for you. We'd never normally eat in such a place but as we're waiting for the train to the art gallery"...

And the kid looks all confused and says, "Mum we ate here last week after swimming"

If they went on holiday to Florida and drive an Audi there is a good chance that they don't know any better than to speak loudly. Not everyone who speaks loudly to their children is a performance parent-some are just bad manners. I hope your own little one is ok OP. (nothfor your DC and fit being forced to sit in a room with that).

I was at the museum with DS in the fun experiment zone. Lady with a boy about 18 months came up next to us:

'Oooh look Bernard. A pyramid. Shall we build the pyramid? Who built the pyramids? That's right Bernard. The Egyptians built the pyramids. What shape is like a pyramid? That's right Bernard. A triangle!'

Bernard looked at her, stuck his hand down the back of his nappy, showed it to her and said 'poo'.

Poor lady shuttled Bernard out of there at top speed.

Oh I miss it a bit, it can be very entertaining. Weird how you never get PP with teens. Although that could be fun.