To tell these performance parents ...

[pieceofpurplesky]

To shut the fuck up?
In A&E with DS waiting for X-ray results with two very vocal performing parents.
'Look Livvy the book has a chicken. What does a chicken say Livvy'
'Oh Livvy you are so clever'
'Livvy look at the nice nurse. What does a nurse do Livvy?'.
'Stop walking away Livvy, I am reading a story. You need to listen Livvy it's a good story'
And on and on and on

All poor Livvy wants to do is bash a toy car on a table and play with a teapot.

I get you op. I live in performance parentsville, it’s much more unusual for me to be surrounded by parents ignoring their children. On the train recently (not where I live though) I had a parent declare/ask one of her children to retell the story of when they discovered that a certain trainline had the sum 3 remainder 1. I had no idea what the heck that meant so I eagerly awaited the meaning (they said the 3 remainder 1 bit a few times just to make sure the whole carriage heard). The answer was something to do with the lines divided by the number of stations (it was a boring reason so can’t quite remember the specifics). I spent the next while wondering why you would even want to come up with this fact.

I have never ever come across hospital separates people in a waiting area waiting to be triaged like that
And as a parent who has also had a child in intensive care - I can only think you are lying. If you’ve had a child that sick then you’d do everything possible to protect them further serious infections in a hospital and it would have been the first thing that crossed your mind as to why they weren’t letting her go off and play with the toys, not sitting their bitchyly thinking they were just trying show off, when they were probably very tired, fed up and worried about their daughters finger.

Kids in a hospital have slightly different and worse germs than normal kids in a school - that’s why they are, in hospital

YABU just let people be.
If the parents need acceptance on how they parent, it shows more about how self conscious they feel than anything else.
The parents obviously need to show off to gain acceptance and 'prove' themselves.
Just leave the poor folk alone.

God knows what people think of me. I have been overheard in the park reading High Court judgments to my children.

I was studying law. It was a great way of getting them to sleep in the buggy.

"This is an an appeal by the Attorney-General against the judgment of Soandso J..."

Sometimes I went to sleep myself!

Yabu. They are in a&e. Maybe they are stressed and that's their way of handling it. Just ignore and focus on your child.

But, 'Toad, you were saying all that in a 'nice, soft voice'. That's the difference. You weren't proclaiming your child's genius to an audience.

I reckon I probably PP'd a fair amount when dd was small. She was bright as a button and I was suitably proud. These days (she's 23) I just hope she doesn't loudly announce what a bunch of twats people are (she has Aspergers) when we are out having coffee.

@Rainbowsandflowers78 so if you haven't seen something the other person must be lying? Wow must be great.
It is the waiting room after X-ray/stitches/bandaging where kids wait for results after being seen initially . A small room with 12 chairs and a few toys. There is a room the other side of triage exactly the same but for those with everything else.

But you have no way of knowing what their intentions were. They are stuck in a and e with their child and just desperately trying to entertain her. Grow up a bit.

Absolutely agree with this. Quit judging people who were under pressure.

But, 'Toad, you were saying all that in a 'nice, soft voice'. That's the difference

And what if someone does exactly the same thing as Toad, but naturally has a louder voice. Would it be performance parenting then? What decibel level makes it PP?

I don't understand what the issue is? She was reading her kid a book? The kid wandered off?

As in the kind of parenting that involves engaging with your children at every opportunity rather than playing on your phone. Enjoying interacting with your children. Taking pleasure from teaching your children new things.

This is not performance parenting. Isn't this what most of us do? Unless of course, you're doing it for the benefit of those around you, rather than your child, in which case it is.

I don't need to grow up thanks. I don't think some of you get what performance parenting is - it's not just reading a book. I have obviously done this many times as have most parents.
Performance parenting is something completely different which has been explained over and over on here

And again not just she. Her parents were reading a book very loudly and asking her to point at certain things and when she did both were explaining very loudly what a clever girl/what a genius etc she was

Pressed wrong button sorry.
The child wanted to wander off but the parents kept bringing her back to tell her how marvellous she was

Performance parenting is something completely different which has been explained over and over on here

There is no unambiguous, objective criteria that indicates PP. All the arguments rehashed by yourself and others time and again on MN are unreliable as signifers or utterly subjective.

Loudness of voice (is naturally different across different people/doesn't take child's hearing problems into account). Looking round (can be attributed to being easily distracted/anxious or simply habit). Intended audience (impossible to determine this short of having qualifications in mind reading).

And in the end, I think parents being attentive to their children deserve a bit of kindness and benefit of the doubt when it comes to intent rather than being bitched about on MN.

People react in different ways to stuff and those reactions are often irritating. Her PP reaction was irritating. Another parent’s might be to talk loudly on their phone and everyone else be buggered. Or to bring 5 adults for moral support because the DC needs a splinter removed or something.
It’s an irritant in an unpleasant and stressful situation. This annoyed the op, she comes on for a rant. The other behaviours are equally annoying. Someone else comes on for a rant over those.
It’s ok!

I just think the term performance parenting is damaging, because it makes parents who are just trying to do the best for their child feel self conscious and worried about how they're coming across (lots of examples on this thread).

Yes, people can be irritating, for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of ways. If you want to call them on it, leave their relationship with their kids out of it.

You're not going to convince those of us who are sceptical, OP. You're just coming across as self-righteous and bitchy. As one PP has said, you're not a mind reader.

I love how the... Did the mum look around to make sure people are listening is the bona-fide key to it definitely being performance parenting! The amount of times I have tired to keep dd attention and spoken a little loudly and looked around embarrassed hoping no one had noticed or heard me. Dd had speach delay and I was told to up the anti on constantly talking!!

Thankfully I'm resilient I wonder how other poor parents feel with dc with sn, speach delays etc feel with all these miserable old cows glaring at them

I agree Laurie. There are so many neglected children out there with no one interested in them, I can't get excited about this.

For people not familiar with the species. Try Waitrose & NT or EH attractions.

Entertaining a child in A&E doesn't require mention of long haul holidays or Daddy's Audi. These are mentioned to inform other parents that we are considerably richer (and better) than yow.

And flame me for this - but Emergency Department are for emergencies. It's not a family day out. A bit of consideration for other families goes a long way.

OP I hope your DC is OK

Thanks @Butteredparsn1ps just ligament damage not a break.
So I need to grow up/am a miserable old cow/self righteous and bitchy.
I guess it was one of those times you had to be there. Or have witnessed it in full glory.
Believe me or not @SersioulycanitgetWORSE they were not embarrassed in any way. Still their daughter was fine and o am sure their trip to Florida will be a booming success. Let's hope none of you doubters are near them in the plane

People who read this thread and say "Oh so I'm not allowed to interact with my children now" are like the men who react to all the #MeToo stuff by saying "Oh so I'm not allowed to say hello to any women now".