To tell these performance parents ...

[pieceofpurplesky]

To shut the fuck up?
In A&E with DS waiting for X-ray results with two very vocal performing parents.
'Look Livvy the book has a chicken. What does a chicken say Livvy'
'Oh Livvy you are so clever'
'Livvy look at the nice nurse. What does a nurse do Livvy?'.
'Stop walking away Livvy, I am reading a story. You need to listen Livvy it's a good story'
And on and on and on

All poor Livvy wants to do is bash a toy car on a table and play with a teapot.

I always wanted to try the opposite of PP just for comic effect in these situations.

So...

PP: Oh Livvy daahling let's count to 20 in Swahili

Me: Oi DS you little shit, can you count mummys fags??

PP: Lets get mummys phone from her Radley handbag

Me: DS you git have you been necking vodka out me bag??

etc etc

You could ramp it up to crack if you were feeling brave.

I'd just love to see their reaction.

Lana PLEASE do that and report back pronto

he demonstrated neither but that didn't stop his mum counting loudly and clapping him at the end

Bernard looked at her, stuck his hand down the back of his nappy, showed it to her and said 'poo'.

Worra
I suspect it needs someone in naice Boden to pull it off!

I look like a scumbag at the best of times so it would be taking far, far too seriously.

But a naice yummy mummy could totally pull it off.

My ex is a massive wankerperformance parent. Any time we ever had to be near each other near our child I positively cringed

Lana, you could always try performance parenting wrongly, just to see if anyone's brave enough to pull you up

"What's the capital of Germany, Timothy? That's right, it's Helsinki. Say Helsinki Timothy."

YABU.

I'm fed up with descriptions of people who talk to their kids as performance parents.

Worra you need a friend with you to out-performance parent, but also wrongly

I'd ask them to be quiet as they are hurting my ears.
Maybe ask them wtf you a complete stranger need to be told about their private iife.
Suggest a therapist.
But I'm like that, don't take no shit.

I’d deliberately try to occupy DS with a book to stop him repeatedly bashing a car on a table. Particularly when in a room full of sick people.

I guess it’s a choice - 2 hours of car being bashed on table or parent talking to their DC. I’d always choose the latter.

Definitely, Sneaky

I agree with @Rainatnight

I am sick about hearing about the awfulness of 'performance parenting'. Everyone is trying to do their best. She is just as likely as stressed about being in A&E as you are and she doing what she can.

You have absolutely no idea if they are playing up to an audience - I could imagine a scenario where they're tried to interact with their child, child isn't interested and parent feels embarrassed- tries to salvage some dignity back by desperately trying to get them to engage.

"What's the capital of Germany, Timothy? That's right, it's Helsinki. Say Helsinki Timothy."

Ooh that's genius.

I will definitley try that one for shits n giggles.

But if there are any v v naice Boden mummies out there who fancy a crack at the scummy mummy routine....please please feel free, then post it on MN.

Pretty please??

I am also fed up with parents talking to their children being labelled as performance parents. Much prefer it to parents who don't engage at all which I see much more frequently.

gillybeanz - no, you wouldn't do that. Because she isn't talking to you - she's talking to her child (which, surprisingly, is a perfectly normal thing to do).

Unless of course you really are that much of a twat in person and not just trying to look 'cool' online.

I have always spoken to my children, or read to them quietly.
yes, I would tell her to shut up about her holidays, and I can't stand performance parenting.
There's nothing wrong with parenting, I did this myself, however, a whole waiting room wouldn't have known about my personal life.

She's not talking to you! She's talking to her child.

I can accept that some people talk loudly to their children, but perhaps that's the only way they keep their attention? Perhaps they do have glue ear and you wouldn't be any the wiser.

The mother in the OP was just trying to read a book to the child and stop them banging on the table and winding everyone else up - or would you really have been happier if the mother just left little Livvy to bang away and pulled out her smartphone instead?

Uugh,these sorts of parents make my teeth itch..

You can totally tell the difference between normal talking to a child and PP. It is a proper performance complete with checking the audience is paying attention.

Funny how I never get to see these so-called 'performance parenters', I expect half these stories never happened. These posters just know that they'll start a bunfight if they tell a good story about a mum showing off her child's amazing talents.

Or, to put it more politely, maybe these stories are grossly exaggerated??

I think the people telling YABU are PPs themselves

Mother is probably just trying to distract Livvy. Perhaps she's worried Livvy will have a crying fit? We've all been there. Mother sounds a bit anxious tbh. In fact, the Livvy this and Livvy that in the OP has me questioning how screwed on OP's head is.

Or, to put it more politely, maybe these stories are grossly exaggerated??

Almost like some performance to an eager audience. You can always tell when it's a performance post, because the OP starts dripfeeding more extreme behaviour or juicy information as the post goes on.

Why does MN not have a sense of humour anymore