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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No Valentine gift not even a card.

456 replies

lilypoppet · 13/02/2018 13:19

Me again. At Christmas you were all kind enough to reply when my DH have me chutney for Christmas. Today he said he realised he hadn't got me anything, so did I want to go to the cinema tonight instead? Only it'll have to be this afternoon because he needs an early night before work tomorrow. I've got him a card and a Yoga mat I know he really wanted. I even went out in the rain and carried it back from cliick and collect. I am so sick of his disrespect. AIBU?

OP posts:
Snowydaysarehere · 13/02/2018 13:20

Still time to order something expensive to arrive tomorrow!

Makingworkwork · 13/02/2018 13:22

I did not see your Christmas post. Do you usually give presents? I am always very clear about my expectations as DH has different expectations to me.

mumpoints · 13/02/2018 13:22

Tell him to go and get something now!

Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 13/02/2018 13:23

Valentine's Day is tomorrow?

SleepingStandingUp · 13/02/2018 13:24

How much was the yoga mat?

PiecesOfHate · 13/02/2018 13:25

This is a bit early... VD is tomorrow!

RedPandaMama · 13/02/2018 13:25

Do people actually do Valentine's Day? My OH has convinced me it's all a big corporate scam and that only teenagers do it?! I'm missing out on chocolates and flowers and a cute card here Shock

SleepingStandingUp · 13/02/2018 13:25

Just thinking £9 for cinema, plus glass of wine or two, plus ice cream and popcorn - you could really make him regret not buying you some flowers and a box of chocd

SleepingStandingUp · 13/02/2018 13:25

Card and flowers as minimum. I bought him an engraged plectrum

Original poster
lilypoppet · 13/02/2018 13:26

The mat was just over £18 after my discount. They retail at £25 and I chose a really nice card. He has no intention of getting anything now, not even a trip to Tesco up the road.

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 13/02/2018 13:28

It really depends on the rest of your relationship. Does he love you, tells you he loves you,show you he loves you? If yes, chill, maybe he doesn't buy into it. If no, it's more than a bunch of overpriced roses.
I've been married a very very long time. Dh has never bought me a valentine or a birthday card. But I don't care.

Original poster
lilypoppet · 13/02/2018 13:28

And it's his mum's birthday in a week and I just know he won't forget to post her something. I am so fed up with it.

OP posts:
SugarPlumFerry · 13/02/2018 13:29

OP I remember your christmas thread but not the outcome of it. Did he really only get you chutney? Sad hide the yoga mat and put it on ebay. Or take it back and spend the money on yourself!

cleantowels · 13/02/2018 13:29

Lj8893 Just one of the nurses that come in and out checking after the birth. For me she was lifting DS over to me to BF because I'd had a CS and wasn't to lift him out of his crib myself for first few days. As she handed him over she told me.

wellbessiewatson · 13/02/2018 13:30

been with dh 23 years, never had a Valentine card, he doesn't agree with it, that's ok I can live with it. Apart from that he's very thoughtful.

cleantowels · 13/02/2018 13:30

Sorry, wrong thread Blush

ShatnersWig · 13/02/2018 13:30

I even went out in the rain and carried it back from click and collect.

Sorry, this just made me laugh.

Sarsparella · 13/02/2018 13:30

Valentine’s Day isn’t until tomorrow.

I don’t see the fuss about it tbh but what’s wrong with an afternoon trip to the cinema if that’s what works out for you?

Do you usually do V Day gifts? Most adults I know don’t bother, me & DH never have, we just do nice things when we want to

PinkHeart5914 · 13/02/2018 13:31

Valentine day is tomorrow though, Surely he could go and get something today or you could wait until the actual day to moan?

How long have you been with him? If for example you’ve been with him 10 years and he’s never really done presents, why do you think he will Change suddenly? If it’s an early days realtionship make it known it’s something that means a lot to you

Really though a box of chocolates or yoga mat and a generic card don’t really say I love you does it?

BarbarianMum · 13/02/2018 13:31

So why do you put up with it ? And why do you keep buying for him? Why not bin the card and send the yoga mat back and see how that plays out?

FrizzyNoodles · 13/02/2018 13:31

Go to town on the pick and mix. Flowers for you

CherryMaDeary · 13/02/2018 13:31

Don't give him the card or the mat unless he has a thoughtful present for you.

Return them and get something for yourself.

He is an utter, utter twat for remembering his mum but forgetting you. Don't be a martyr and give him the presents.

And update us!

Whowhatwhy · 13/02/2018 13:32

Go to Tesco. Buy chocolate. Then unwrap the yoga mat and lay on it while you eat them.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 13/02/2018 13:32

I've got him a card and a Yoga mat I know he really wanted. I even went out in the rain and carried it back from cliick and collect. I am so sick of his disrespect.

I'm like your DH. I don't do Valentines Day. I don't want to have a materialistic idea of romance foisted on me every February 14th. It's a money-making scheme - nothing more. There is nothing romantic about being made to feel you have to buy something.

I'm not disrespecting my DH by not buying him a card. Respect is shown in less superficial ways than that. Luckily he agrees with my standpoint but even if he didn't, he wouldn't guilt-trip me into engaging with something I'm opposed to.

You and he obviously have very different views of Valentines Day. One person isn't right over the other - you're just different. You need to respect his choice not to engage with it.

CherryMaDeary · 13/02/2018 13:32

Really though a box of chocolates or yoga mat and a generic card don’t really say I love you does it?

It still says more than forgetting your wife but remembering your mum.

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