Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No Valentine gift not even a card.

456 replies

lilypoppet · 13/02/2018 13:19

Me again. At Christmas you were all kind enough to reply when my DH have me chutney for Christmas. Today he said he realised he hadn't got me anything, so did I want to go to the cinema tonight instead? Only it'll have to be this afternoon because he needs an early night before work tomorrow. I've got him a card and a Yoga mat I know he really wanted. I even went out in the rain and carried it back from cliick and collect. I am so sick of his disrespect. AIBU?

OP posts:
lurkingnotlurking · 14/02/2018 13:45

I actually got flowers this year. It was the first year (in over 2 decades) that I couldn't be bothered dropping hints. Either way, he's a wonderful partner. I really must make him a card with a nice heart on it with the kids' craft supplies ;)

Littlechocola · 14/02/2018 13:46

I remember your chutney op.
He’s insensitive.

Clandestino · 14/02/2018 13:59

I am in a FB group of mums of different ages and social backgrounds. Before Christmas one of them posted a very sad status about how she was crying and how she is thinking about getting divorced because her DH doesn't give her anything, no presents, no extra stuff, nothing. It sounded really bad so we sent her small presents for Christmas, not expensive, just a box of chocolates, a book etc.
She posted how she was opening them under the tree and apparently her DH's comments were, that we are all gullible and silly and she was manipulative and gave us a weepy story to get presents.
Wouldn't that earn lots of LTB comments on Mumsnet?
Few weeks later and she is posting pictures of her sexy husband with comments like "Oh, look at him, wouldn't you love him just for the looks.", a bottle of wine with "So dear husband is taking care of our son and I'm lazying around, what a great life." and her husband and son asleep with "Oh, how cute they look."
I felt like an idiot and actually agreed wit her husband. She came across as a hysterical manipulative creature who used us to get at her husband instead of having an honest chat with him and was as far from a divorce as I am from becoming a nun.
That's how I feel with you now, OP.

Whatwouldkeithrichardsdo · 14/02/2018 14:08

Stop buying DH anything
Buy something nice for yourself
If it bothers you so much then get rid of him.

lurkingnotlurking · 14/02/2018 14:10

Stop buying DH anything
Buy something nice for yourself

She was given that advice at Christmas

Sweetpea55 · 14/02/2018 14:28

I think you enjoy whining about DP op...

Just to make you even more arsey,,,my DP gave me a poem he had written himself , in a lovely glass bottle and a beautiful vintage cut glass and silver perfume bottle. Such a lot of thought gone into these gifts,

colourful86 · 14/02/2018 14:34

I got some kinky crotchless knickers and a spanking crop... think yourself lucky op... I'd rather have had nothing 🙈🙈

lurkingnotlurking · 14/02/2018 14:52

colourful86 dare you to patch them with some old fabric

mummabubs · 14/02/2018 15:09

Not that I expect you'll respond to this OP as you don't seem to be acknowledging anyone else's replies but when he said he hadn't got you anything maybe he meant he hadn't got a gift but had got you a card?

FWIW we don't do gifts on Valentine's Day but do cards and make sure we spend time together. But having said that we try and spend time together anyway and both subscribe to the whole "VD/mothers day/ Father's Day are all commercialisation gone mad"... but as soooooo many others have pointed out your situation comes from 2 areas of difficulty: 1) You and DH don't have the same outlook on gifting, there's difference here. 2) You haven't discussed the difference so DH doesn't know how you feel and as others have pointed out nothing can change if he doesn't know exactly what you want!!

Original poster
lilypoppet · 14/02/2018 15:23

You lot make me laugh with your comments I actually feel cheered up and I can't respond to every point there are too many! My eldest just told.me she never gets a card and has bought him one as a hint. So it runs in the family!

OP posts:
DaisyLand · 14/02/2018 15:50

We might make you laugh but the one trapped in this nonsense scenario is actually you, so keep enjoying life Biscuit

Hope not to see a new thread about how your DH dissappoints you on your bday with the present...

Sweetpea55 · 14/02/2018 16:17

Agree with Daisy land... It's all too boring now

Butterymuffin · 14/02/2018 16:18

colourful86 ask him when you get to test out the new crop on him Grin Count the strokes with 'that's for my present!' each time.

OP, cantsleep has nailed it with:

In general I am on your side op. Your dh sounds thoughtless and uncaring.

But you are impossible. You don't answer simple questions and you won't simply have a conversation or take action. What is this thread even for?

Honkyzeke · 14/02/2018 16:18

....Meh...

chocorabbit · 14/02/2018 16:26

Is the OP's birthday any time soon? Grin

NotASingle Grin

Original poster
lilypoppet · 14/02/2018 16:26

My birthday is in May and there's mother's Day so watch this space ;)

OP posts:
TriniRedVelvet · 14/02/2018 16:28

You lot make me laugh with your comments I actually feel cheered up and I can't respond to every point there are too many! My eldest just told.me she never gets a card and has bought him one as a hint. So it runs in the family!

WTH?? Are you on glue??

Honkyzeke · 14/02/2018 16:35

My birthday is in May and there's mother's Day so watch this space ;)

triniredvelvet - i think you might be right!

Pfftkids · 14/02/2018 16:36

So now your daughter isn't happy with him because he's not bought her a Valentine's card?

AyeAyeFishyPie · 14/02/2018 16:38

I'm losing my faith in the credibility of this story. Either that or the OP just has selective reading.

Butterymuffin · 14/02/2018 16:40

My birthday is in May and there's mother's Day so watch this space ;)

I see. Tune in later for the next exciting instalment. Well, now we know where we are.

mummabubs · 14/02/2018 16:40

It's so funny how opinions can change, I personally felt really sorry for the OP when she originally posted about the chutneys at Christmas... however I'm really struggling to have continued empathy on this new thread given the more recent responses from OP. Take or leave what people have said OP but as some others have said... literally what function do you want this thread to serve if all you seem to be doing is behaving passive aggressively towards people who are offering a response when you've asked for responses?!

Honkyzeke · 14/02/2018 16:43

AyeAyeFishyPie - there is no credibility at all in this thread, its a joke!

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 14/02/2018 16:49

OP is just loving the drama. She's a twonk.

DaisyLand · 14/02/2018 16:55

Again it’s your life not ours so if you’re not willing to address it the rest won’t.

Unluckily there are helpful people in this thread that have got bigger problems than yours , your behaviour can be quite offensive for them.

If I was your dh I would get you a ticket to Disney as seems that’s the place you’d like to life. Perfect fake life with a happy ever after ending with charming prince.

PPs “don’t feed the troll”