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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand what a "homebird" is excited by?

239 replies

BooYah · 10/02/2018 22:32

My childhood was complicated, difficult and transitory. We moved a lot. As an adult, am bored easily, and have moved many times, including to other countries. I find it really exciting.

We are moving again soon. Lots of people have said, when told about the news that we re moving, "oh, I'm such a homebird, I wouldn't want to move away". That is, of course fine. My way isn't for everyone, I get that. But what I don't really understand is what excites other people.

I then started thinking how I could replicate those feelings if I couldn't move somewhere new, and I wondered if perhaps extreme sports would replace it? But for people who don't want either, how do you get the same thrill?

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

OP posts:
Qvar · 10/02/2018 22:33

I don't want a thrill. I actively avoid thrills.

Original poster
BooYah · 10/02/2018 22:35

Really? Why?

OP posts:
Bigben90 · 10/02/2018 22:35

Do you have dc? You might have to settle some time. Can you replace it with regular holidays?

Bigben90 · 10/02/2018 22:36

I like to travel but I'm also I home bird. I've travelled a lot but now I replace it with just holidays. It's worked wellSmile

Original poster
BooYah · 10/02/2018 22:36

Yes I have DC

OP posts:
Bigben90 · 10/02/2018 22:37

Oh really. And you move countries a lot?

Slanetylor · 10/02/2018 22:38

Yep! Who needs thrills?
Changing jobs can be challenging. Doing a course is challenging?
Heading off somewhere that I've no friends or family wouldn't thrill me at all. The loneliness doesn't suit me. I like meeting new people but it's not the same fun as with old friends.
I like working slowly towards getting the house nice, trying to move forward in my carreer, new babies being born into the family and been really boring.
I lived away for a long time and just was never for me.

Slanetylor · 10/02/2018 22:39

Some people have affairs! Maybe lots do Wink

Neolara · 10/02/2018 22:40

I also actively avoid "thrills". I don't particularly enjoy them. Al

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 10/02/2018 22:40

New tom Hardy photos/films
Having enough money to order chicken goujons from the chippy.

I know, you’re jealous right? Grin

InToMyHeart · 10/02/2018 22:40

I'm a homebird. I moved for uni and avoid moving now. I like security, routine and stability. New things can be exhausting for some people. I certainly don't want a "thrill" in my life.

Original poster
BooYah · 10/02/2018 22:40

Yes, I suppose we're both professional expats. DCs always go to good schools, but we never stay anywhere very long. DCs seem happy with it so far.

OP posts:
JayZed · 10/02/2018 22:41

I sometimes try different brands of guacamole, as someone with high levels of anxiety that kind of thrill is pushing it for me

implantsandaDyson · 10/02/2018 22:41

It's just different strokes I suppose, the same as you my childhood was complicated, difficult and we moved about quite a bit - do I want to do that as an adult now? No - I had my fill of it, I don't find it exciting.
I have tonnes of stuff I love to do in my life - but moving isn't one of them and I'll pass on extreme sports too Grin

strawberrypenguin · 10/02/2018 22:42

I don’t want thrills like that! Constant change would make me miserable. I like to have a base and somewhere that feels like ‘home’. Your way of living sounds hideous to me but it clearly works for you (as I imagine mine does to you)

I don’t think it’s something you can change or force I think it’s just part of who you are.

marzipancustard · 10/02/2018 22:42

I had a very unstable childhood and I am a homebird. I relish stability, reliability and security and love feeling safe.

Original poster
BooYah · 10/02/2018 22:42

Grin Donny sounds great

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 10/02/2018 22:43

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

Security and familiarity.

My childhood was very turbulent. I never knew what was going to happen, or where we'd be, one day to the next. Even when we were taken to live with our grandparents and I knew we were staying with then there was still a fair few moves and dramas.

I love that my home is always there. I can go anywhere on holiday or try a new course or whatever, but home stays the same.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 10/02/2018 22:43

I’m very much an introvert. I like the idea of living in different countries (getting away from my family and ex Grin) but in reality the thought terrifies me. How would I find work? Make friend? I’d be terribly lonely. And the DC? What if they hated me for taking them away from their friends?

Hedgehoghogger · 10/02/2018 22:43

Bit like rollercoasters - the adrenaline makes me feel sick and shaky, and generally on edge and anxious for a while. Friends love them.

Maybe it's that - some bodies thrive on adrenaline. Some hate it. Biological models of personality suggest that extroverts need far more adrenaline to feel anything, whereas introverts live on the edge of their comfort zone.

lougle · 10/02/2018 22:44

I'm a home bird. For me, home is my security. It's my safe place. It's where I can be me, with no expectations placed on me. I get anxious when I have to be in places I don't know, with people I don't know.

You say you like the thrill, but does that not mean that you have to move regularly, once the thrill has worn off? Adult life isn't about always getting a thrill. It's about creating security for your child. Making them feel that they are safe.

Bigben90 · 10/02/2018 22:44

How old are you dc? It's not very fair on them to be unsettled and move around A lot so you can get a thrillHmm

I thought you get that out your system pre- DCConfused

AuntLydia · 10/02/2018 22:46

I find satisfaction in the small things in life... I moved a fair amount within the UK in my childhood and then early 20s. I don't want to move again. I've been in the same place for a decade now and I like that. I like feeling rooted to one place and like my kids belong in a community. They have friends they've grown up with from toddlerhood. I hope they have the confidence to go out and explore the world when they're older if that's what they want but I reckon it'll be nice for them to know their childhood home in the place they grew up is still here and waiting for them..

brownmouse · 10/02/2018 22:46

I love making my home perfect for me. I love having a place for everything and everything in it's place.

I love the view from my windows. The smell of my home when I walk in the door. I'm excitedly when the bulbs I planted in the autumn push through the soil to herald spring.

I'm excited when unusual birds land on my bird table! It takes my breath away.

I'm excited by the changing seasons. But also I prefer routine and marking time in other ways to changing my envoironment. I have a strong pull to be 'Home'. Tea and hot cross buns in the afternoon with my husband watching sport while I read a magazine and sprawl across him. My cats and the plants I have grown and the roots I have put down.

I wish I had the urge to travel and have adventures! By my heart is in my home, the repetition and the familiar. :)

Oysterbabe · 10/02/2018 22:48

I'm very happy with my life so why would I want to change it? I have a good job, husband, kids, home and friends. I have no desire to rock the boat.

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