To not understand what a "homebird" is excited by?

[BooYah]

My childhood was complicated, difficult and transitory. We moved a lot. As an adult, am bored easily, and have moved many times, including to other countries. I find it really exciting.

We are moving again soon. Lots of people have said, when told about the news that we re moving, "oh, I'm such a homebird, I wouldn't want to move away". That is, of course fine. My way isn't for everyone, I get that. But what I don't really understand is what excites other people.

I then started thinking how I could replicate those feelings if I couldn't move somewhere new, and I wondered if perhaps extreme sports would replace it? But for people who don't want either, how do you get the same thrill?

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

Actually I had to get new boots this week cause my old ones are wrecked, and I didnt even like that! I had to put my nice old reliable comfortable (but beyond repair) boots in the bin and get new ones and I HATE it. They feel new and strange. I dont know if theyll ever break in as well as my old ones. I dont know which of my outfits theyll work well with yet. I want my old boots back! (But also want dry feet and to not look like a tramp so..)

I’m currently sporting the tramp look for this exact reason. I have to summon up the mental energy to part with old faithful and break in a new pair.

OP Ive Just realised I get quite excited about cleaning out my car.

I love the idea of my children and their partners and kids all coming over for lunch on a Sunday will need a bigger table if they have as many children as we have

Its completely yack and twee but I really do get so much out of being a mum. Watching them grow is exciting and challenging and that really is enough for me. But not in a needy way I dont expect my kids to be my best mates or anything. Im just happy with my lot and dont need to add ecxitement

This is a really interesting thread and great food for thought.

I grew up in one, stable home and with great parents who liked to travel and took us to some great places in the holidays. We'd have a month in France every summer and made loads of friends over there. My DM's an artist and my DF travelled a huge amount for work which gave me quite a worldly outlook from a young age. Lots of trips to museums, galleries, theatre, books, etc.

Unfortunately life changed after my DF passed away in my teens. Many years of upheaval and upset followed. I still travelled but usually did so alone. I then moved house so many times during Uni/20s but none of them were 'mine' so rarely felt like home. I am an introvert and not having my own place affected me a great deal, but I could never afford to have that.

Mid 30s now and happily settled with my wonderful soulmate of a DP and have just given birth to our first child together. Have two lovely DSCs who stay regularly and a very loving, happy home. We don't own our home yet but aspire to in the next couple of years. The life I have now excites me so much; the little ways in which we care for each other and develop our family life. I am happier than I've ever been since childhood.

Yet. I do miss seeing the world, going to the theatre, meeting artists and travellers and that general more bohemian existence. I do think it's something I'll be able to incorporate into our lives in the future though. I certainly want my children to experience it as I did. I just know I wouldn't swap the excitement of finding true love with anything else.

I love my home and love excitement.

I like holidays and travel and coming home. I like my hobbies which include a bunch of sports and martial arts. I love experimental cooking and I love making and designing things and get a real thrill when I get it right.

I think I live a quite exciting life. I just like a stable near to do it from.

I can't be doing with filling my day with 'activities'. My perfect day is a day with no thrills. Waking up to a day when i know absolutely nothing is happening is the kind of day I look forward to more than any other.

I’m a homebird these days.

I moved a bit when I was a university student and planned another big move but met my husband and decided to stay put.

I am a fairly content person and I don’t have any need for excitement in my life. My job is challenging and unpredictable, that’s enough for me.

I like stability and familiarity at home. I have always wanted my children to have stable schooling as well, moving schools disrupted both dh and me as teenagers and I have never wanted that for my dses.

Isn't it more about what people find pleasurable?
I find change and variety mostly too stressful but the comfort of my daily routine and my own home.... that's what's pleasurable to me.

Excitement sounds rather exhausting. I am extremely keen on a good bit of chocolate, a sofa, a cat, and a good costume drama.

When I was young and did move continents I don’t recall doing it for excitement - it was to feel a better fit with the culture I moved to.

The closest I’ve come to enjoying excitement is great sex. But that’s a heck of a lot more textured/layered that extreme sports.

To each their own, but my suspicion is that a lot of “homebirds” don’t enjoy excitement.

Rollercoasters, political activism, extreme sports... People like different things, and some people don't want 'excitement' at all.

(having read through the thread again) I'm not all that fussed about location - or length of relationship with people. I have tended to find a place to live ie it's got a bed and all my stuff in it, and keep it as 'home' but not be too bothered about decorating and housework and all that sort of thing. A lot of the people who do matter to me live all over the country/all over the world and I only see them now and again. I'm slightly creeped out by people who grew up in a certain area, married someone they were at primary school with and currently live within a mile of both sets of inlaws... (I'm a little inclined to want to count their fingers).

I am somewhere in between, but much more leaning toward the homebird now. DH and I have had lots of home insecurity, and had unpredictable and unpleasant childhoods so like most others on here, after much upheaval we love to do soothing, homey, comforting and relaxing safe things as much as possible now. I choose a deep sense of joy over big but short-lived thrills for sure. But I do get excited (and satisfied) by tiny things like getting an elastic band from the postman or with broccoli!!

I totally get it when someone said that adrenaline too often meant real threat, not just good excitement so sadly it is something I have learned not to really enjoy.

Saying that we are also adventurous underneath the exhaustion, and I do often crave some moments of exhilaration (that feeling rather than excietment) but these days I get it from stormy or windy weather or the sea, and feeling the power and awesomeness of nature.

If we could get home/health/ finances more secure, then we would be more adventurous again and would move from here by choice, but to a long term home. I think it is just that too many of our upheavals were not from our own choice so perhaps if one is in control of one's circs, then there is empowerment and choice in the moving about and seeking of newness which makes it a postive rather than negative experience.

I do miss enjoying the adrenaline of some hobbies I had in younger days and could learn to love it again if we had a permanent safe place to start from.

It’s all a state of mind, isn’t it?

What do you find exciting about living in different countries? Are you moving from Spain to Italy to France to Germany? From USA to Canada? Or China to Russia to Eritrea to Colombia to India?

I have a BIL and SIL who are a little like you, but without as difficult an upbringing as you suggest you’ve had. I always wonder what it is they’re looking for on their worldly travels, that they can’t find at home. They don’t seem to travel to experience new cultures, languages, societies, foods, geographies etc. They always seem to be on (a very benign and docile, mind) hunt for something.

This is such an interesting thread!

I have lived in 3 countries and probably will never live in the UK again. Our children are not British-born and we are extremely happy where we are. It’s a world away from where I grew up.

I spent my 20s traveling around (city to city, country to country) and frankly I’m not sure I could be bothered with all the work that comes from packing up again. We did 4 transatlantic moves in 4 years, which has colored my views. Community is absolutely critical to me, and I hope that my children always look at our house/neighborhood/city as their “base”.

Having said that - like a PP I’m always a little perturbed by people I meet who live within 15 minutes of their parents and the primary school they went to. I hope that my children see some of the world before they settle down. I suppose if I’m completely candid with myself that I hope my children are not homebirds in that sense, because to not care about seeing anything else of world seems so - I don’t know, stymied? Rather I’m hoping they are homing pigeons - eventually they’ll come but not before they’ve spread their wings a bit first!

You have already said you moved a lot and your childhood was difficult and transitory ( not that the 2 things are automatically linked ) . I moved a lot with my fathers job , though within this country ,and i am now hopeless about change. I dont want to even change my decor or furniture around. My home is my safe place and i like it to stay the same. I need routine and security.
Also you say your children are hapoy to keep moving and switching schools regularly etc . My mother says the same thing about my childhood and that all the upheaval never did me any harm but it is really not true. Outwardly i took it all in my stride but it has left lasting scars not only on me but also my 3 siblings . Food for thought though really not trying to guilt trip you.

What excited me is spring being around the corner in my lovely big garden and I can appreciate the roots I have put down here.

• excites me - not ‘excited' me.

Dh and I moved a lot before dd was born. Including countries. By the time we moved to Germany, it was the 8th house in about 6 years. We then had 3 more moves over the next 8 years. All different countries and the last one was returning to the U.K. The moving around was exciting. A new language, a different house and surroundings.

I would love to go back and live in one particular house we lived in. It was amazing. Yes. I get itchy feet regularly and have some cognitive dissonance and some mental health issues because we stopped moving around. But we had to do it for our child. I don’t really feel at home where I live now. But I don’t think I will ever truly feel at home again.

Why do you want to inflict something, which is so difficult to cope with onto your children?

I guess for me moving is a big hassle. Also I feel like that saying "where ever you go, there you are" is true. Or as my mum used to say "the problem with going on holiday is that we take ourselves with us". So it's a big hassle for nothing really - I'm going to be the same boring lonely person there as I am here.

I love travelling and I get thrills from it. I also enjoy when the trip ends and I'm back at home.

This is so interesting. We've done a bit of the expat life and I know what you mean by professional expats. Some families seem to make it work so well. Every country they go they set up a cosy home and throw themselves in to socialising.
I always had an undercurrent feeling of my home being temporary, so never invested time or money in to making them cosy.
One of the reasons we've now decided to settle. Sometimes I feel like I've taken the lazy choice and am taking away all the amazing eye opening experiences that other expats proclaim to be the best part if travelling.
Other times I think it's good that my dc will have a sense of 'home'
So really, there's still no getting it right!
Many expat couples come from different countries, many rely on the contracts and salary to provide better schooling and quality of life for their dcs.
It's definitely not so black and white !

I'm an extreme introvert and a homebird, however I spent my childhood being moved around a lot due to debt and poverty, we had lots of last minute 'adventures' that involved leaving the house we'd been a t for a few months and never returning.
As ad adult to get the odd itchy feet spell and I usually end up moving all the rooms in the house around and changing 5e furniture or decorating to make things seem new and fresh. In general though I love coming home and being safely tucked up on the sofa at home whilst shutting the world out.

I like seeing my plum tree bear more fruit because the winter wash was timed perfectly, the lollipop holly taking shape, will the peacock lillies survive the frost. I like seeing my dgc playing on the same beach my dc did. I like driving into my home town my heart actually soars as I turn into a particular road. I don't mind going on holiday, New places and experiences are great but they pale before homecoming. I'm a total homebody nice to hear from so many others .

I'm like you op. I move a lot to different countries and love being an expat. Trouble is, whenever we are not moving or planning a move I feel terribly bored and unfulfilled which isn't a good thing. I can't imagine ever being satisfied and this is something I need to address when DC get older as they will need the stability of the same school etc

I used to work abroad (new destination every year) and even when I came back to the UK and was based here I still travelled for approx 10 days a month. I used to love it.

Now, I just want to sleep in my own bed, cook a nice meal in my own home, feel safe and secure under my own roof etc. I like the familiarity of our routine, it makes me feel secure and safe and loved.

I'm away next week (5 nights in Lisbon for work). Yes, I'm excited but I know that by day 3 I'll be missing home (DD and DH and DC (cat) and will be looking at the growing pile of dirty laundry in my suitcase. I'll also be wanting to crawl into my own bed at 10pm to watch Doctors on the iPlayer but instead will be in some restaurant (all very nice obviously) still talking indemnity clauses with my Portuguese hosts).

I just think I'm getting old (and a bit boring), but hey.

Planning a holiday, doing renovations to the house, taking up a hobby/sport, getting involved in kids’ sport/hobby, volunteering, fundraising, decluttering, redecorating, planning Christmas/birthdays.

I also love travelling and moving and have never lived anywhere more than 2 years. Slowing that down now as my kids are at school now. But all of the above keep me going. I always have to have something going on or to look forward to.