To not understand what a "homebird" is excited by?

[BooYah]

My childhood was complicated, difficult and transitory. We moved a lot. As an adult, am bored easily, and have moved many times, including to other countries. I find it really exciting.

We are moving again soon. Lots of people have said, when told about the news that we re moving, "oh, I'm such a homebird, I wouldn't want to move away". That is, of course fine. My way isn't for everyone, I get that. But what I don't really understand is what excites other people.

I then started thinking how I could replicate those feelings if I couldn't move somewhere new, and I wondered if perhaps extreme sports would replace it? But for people who don't want either, how do you get the same thrill?

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

[SusanBunch]

Constantly moving countries can have a very destabilising effect on children. Some may turn out like you, eager to move around themselves, but for others it can manifest in depression and a feeling of a lack of identity. Do think about that when planning your next jaunt. Many many adults talk about the negative effect that moving schools and countries constantly had on them and how they still can't seem to find a true home.

[LynetteScavo]

I think as quite happy to move countries and around the uk pre-DC, but the thought of them moving house and schools at the same time would stress me out.

I find life challenging enough without seeking out thrills. If money were no object I would travel more, go skiing and rafting etc, but I wouldn't want to live my whole life somewhere new every few years with DC, I'd just find it a drain.

[Foreverlexicon]

Progress and development is my thing.

I channel this into training my horse and competing in one of the most dangerous equestrian sports.

The idea of not doing this is unfamable to me. The idea of life without it seems so mundane.

[BeyondThePage]

The homebirds and thrillseekers are opposites - I'm a homebird.

You ask what we do for a thrill, I could ask why aren't you happy with your family without a thrill.

[diddl]

Why do you keep moving though?

Isn't it a lot of the same shit in different places?

[speakout]

My OH went to 9 different schools. He coped but he resents his father for it. Always the outsider, never time to develop long term friendships.

I am a homebird, I think small pleasures are the best ones. I plant trees, and have time to watch them grow, I get involved in the local community I cultivate friends that I have known for decades.
I live in the town I grew up, the familiarity of things - the old gatepost, the civic buildings, the old trees evoke such lovely memories and I find a comfort in that.
I am quite a fearless person and I have travelled the world extensively, but my "thrills" are found in simple places.
To watch a migrating goose formation or to see the new buds on a tree give me pleasure,

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

I feel sorry for your DC if you are constantly on the move. I can’t imagine denying my DS the stability and security he has in school and within his friendship group just so that I could get a thrill. It would be pretty self-centred of me.

[Buglife]

Moving houses, countries, changing jobs and kids schools so often doesn’t sound thrilling to me, it sounds like a ton of admin and boring crap! I shudder at the thought of all the forms you must need to fill out, do you find paperwork quite a thrill?! We are planning a move this year and intend for it to be our house until the kids are teens at least (one is still in utero!) have a stable home and no massive amounts of life admin to sort out surely means you have more free time to do stuff you actually want to. Travel in the school holidays, find a pastime that takes you away at weekends, but having the constant of a stable home and routine to come back to is what makes these things a thrill in the first place, isn’t it? Otherwise the relentlessness of change becomes tedious in itself.

[morningconstitutional2017]

You say that you moved a lot as a child so this is normal for you and I suspect that change of any sort is not particularly stressful.
I'm most definitely a home bird and I prefer to avoid excitement (or 'thrills') such as roller coasters, drug taking or getting drunk.
I get my pleasures in projects - creating a pretty garden or home and I love to make things such as sewing a new summer dress or a quilt. Quieter pleasures maybe, but they are still pleasures to me.

[longestlurkerever]

What if where you live isn't that cosy? My DC have lived in the same house since they were born and I know my eldest enjoys the sense of security this gives her. She's devastated we are finally buying new sofas. But it's a transient neighbourhood- her friends and neighbours come and go, and there's an edge to it that stops it feeling too safe and familiar. That's quite exciting in itself and we certainly take advantage of the wealth of experience on offer but I have started to wonder if somewhere with more natural beauty, fresh air and privacy would be more homely. But it would be unsettling and a bit scary to move and lose the roots we do have, so this feeling pulls in two directions. Weirdly I've never felt any pull towards my home town even though objectively it's lovely,very liveable and much "safer". I think it's because there's a weight of expectation where you regularly bump into everyone you grew up with and it's kind of stifling to see how everyone's lives turn out more or less the same. A quandary

[PlanNumber]

I always think people constantly looking for a thrill have something missing in their lives. I know that's been the case for me, when I've gone out of my way to find adventure it's been because my life wasn't very satisfactory at the time. When I'm happy I don't need thrills.

[Eolian]

I like change, and do find I need a 'project '. We've relocated twice (most recently to the other end of the country), which I do find exciting, but it's too expensive and too much upheaval to do often. I wouldn't even consider relocation abroad.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I always think people constantly looking for a thrill have something missing in their lives. I know that's been the case for me, when I've gone out of my way to find adventure it's been because my life wasn't very satisfactory at the time. "

Extreme behaviour is often one of the signs of depression.
I'm not saying that's the case with OP, but it can be in general.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"I have started to wonder if somewhere with more natural beauty, fresh air and privacy would be more homely."

I don't have children myself, but I often think the countryside is best for small children - they can be independent earlier, but that town is better as they grow up and become teenagers. When they get older it's better if there's a bus service and they're not stuck waiting for a lift all the time.

[k2p2k2tog]

In my SIL's case she gets excited by things like a new brand of washing powder in Asda and gossip about celebrities in trashy magazines. She lives on the same street where she grew up, has worked in the same place since she left school, never goes on holiday, never eats out, has hobbies, doesn't do sport. She just goes to work and watches the telly.

I wouldn't describe that as "being a homebird" I'd describe it as boring as hell.

[NorthStarGrassman]

My parents also moved countries every year or so. It was fine when I was at primary school but what happens as they get older? You either keep them with you and keep disrupting their secondary education (possibly moving between different education systems) or you send them to boarding school. My parents chose the latter. I had expat friends who stayed with their parents in the same country and went to international school to 18, but then university in the uk was a real struggle for them. When I finished uni I had no “home” to go back to - in fact I did go back to my parents’ U.K. house for a month or so but had to leave because they had to rent it out. It’s not a coincidence that I’ve lived in the same town for that last 12 years.

[Eolian]

I heard a radio interview a while back with Dawn French. She was talking about how the fact that her family (forces, I think) had constantly relocated had had a big effect on her personality and her ability to form relationships. It had made her a real people pleaser but very superficial with people because she was wary of making a deeper connection as she expected to have to move on soon.

[StoneColdDiva]

Sounds to me not that the OP is happy moving out of her comfort zone, but that her comfort zone is moving around, being transient.

[MarthaArthur]

I move a lot as a kid and to different countries. I was always the new girl.. always had to make new friends. I cant settle anywhere but i agree with you op. I like the excitement of somewhere new.

[Dermymc]

I feel for your children who will get used to making short term friends but not friends for life.

As they grow older it will be more difficult to move them. They will crave security and routine. What are your plans for secondary education?

In theory your life sounds great, new adventures all the time.

[redcollargirl]

I had a transitory childhood with lots of moves - no more than 2 years anywhere for the first 14 years of my life. I married a man who was always restless - the grass is greener sort of person. I have travelled extensively (visited every continent and lived abroad in several different countries) and used to do a sport that is relatively risky.

Now I can’t be bothered with holidays - I have a week in Cornwall every year and am always pleased to come home. I enjoy my home, my dogs and spend a lot of time pottering. I don’t do anything more risky than walking over a muddy field the dogs.

I think the change came when I had children in my mid 30s. I didn’t want them to have the kind of childhood I had. I like the fact that my DC (now in their 20s) are still good friends with people they first played with in playgroup and have roots in our village.

DD has the travel bug and is currently backpacking on her own for 5 months around various extreme locations. DS is away at uni and only comes back for short visits. They both like the security of knowing I am here and that there is always a home here for them.

[Soosiesoo]

I was a forces child so moved a lot in my younger years. The feeling of being 'new' and 'different' at school was horrid and I always spoke differently to everyone else (really bothered me as a child!). So as an adult I'm really adverse to the idea of big changes (I do cope fine if/when they happen).

I love the idea of my dcs having 'roots' in one place (I'm not really from anywhere), along with a family home they've grown up in which will be their base as they get older.

Probably sounds really dull but if it means they feel more grounded and secure as a result, then I'm happy.

[Headofthehive55]

I liken it to the difference between a one night stand or series of short flings and a long term meaningful relationship.
Ones full of adrenaline, the other full of happiness.

[madmomma]

Being home always feels like a treat to me. Having not had my own home (staying with parents after divorce) or had a crap one (damp poky flat), I am constantly grateful for the four walls around me and my family. Not in a pious way, just genuinely pleased and happy. I am excited and fulfilled by small domestic details. I am interested in the rest of the world and read about it, but hate travelling. I can't relax until I'm home.