To not understand what a "homebird" is excited by?

[BooYah]

My childhood was complicated, difficult and transitory. We moved a lot. As an adult, am bored easily, and have moved many times, including to other countries. I find it really exciting.

We are moving again soon. Lots of people have said, when told about the news that we re moving, "oh, I'm such a homebird, I wouldn't want to move away". That is, of course fine. My way isn't for everyone, I get that. But what I don't really understand is what excites other people.

I then started thinking how I could replicate those feelings if I couldn't move somewhere new, and I wondered if perhaps extreme sports would replace it? But for people who don't want either, how do you get the same thrill?

If you are a 'homebird', what excites you?

[LinoleumBlownapart]

I've lived in 4 different countries not including Britain and 9 different cities including 4 in the UK. I don't really seek thrills in life, I'm quite happy without thrills. I don't like leaving places, but I'm happy to try new lifestyles. I'm happy generally and my geographical location has no bearing on that.

[monkeymamma]

This feels like black-and-white thinking to me! I’m definitely a homebird - love snuggly throws/soft lamp light/watching hollyoaks/adult colouring/buy wine from the same region every time (always red natch), love ordering same meal in the same restaurant every time, and so on. But I also love travel, have made some big moves already in life, done long haul with two toddlers, would have no objection to moving abroad if needed. It’s not one or the other!

[hurtingheart]

Ah - my people!


Complete homebird here. Happiest of all in my house with my dogs, kids DP, friends, fire on, food, wine.

I genuinely want nothing more.

[Clarabumps]

I really can't be arsed moving. I moved A LOT in my late teens/early 20s and I love being home. With no drama, no uncertainty. I had a pretty turbulent adolescence so the idea of "excitement" fill me with dread.
I'm quite happy to get excited about other things. I don't have a need to look outside of myself for that buzz.

[ZanyMobster]

Amazing friends and family who I do fab things with (either in this city/country or abroad). I have done various hobbies over the years, learnt lots of new skills and shared much of it with family and friends. Living in one place for a long time doesn't mean life isn't exciting.

I don't really understand what is exciting about moving around TBH, not having those fabulous close friendships that you have when you stay in the place you have grown up/settled in is quite sad to me but people who don't have that then I would understand why moving around suits them (although I suspect moving around a lot would be a contributing factor to that).

If you are happy then I don't really understand why you would be on here asking.

[FragrantFloozy]

I was a complete thrill-seeker and social butterfly in my teens and twenties, but I'm definitely more a homebody now.

I love travelling and we do plan exciting trips when money allows (went on a trip to China and Japan last year for a big birthday), but in general I find pleasure in the little things these days.

Sounds boring, but my fn comes from reading (fiction and history), perfume (collecting, reading about, talking about with other perfume geeks) and going to 'cultural' things - art galleries, museums, the opera (daaahling). Art is uplifting and transports me in to a different space instantly.

To be honest, I work full time and have children, so comfort, stability and plenty of R&R is enough for me

[littlepeas]

I love travel, but despise moving and love my home and the area we live in. I moved a lot as a child and it has made me want security and somewhere that is 'home' for my dc - not just the house itself, but the town we live in. We do travel a lot though and would prioritise it in our budget over other discretionary spending.

[Strongmummy]

Some people have no interest in moving from place to place. In fact i’d Wager most dont. They provide a stable base for their family and then go on holiday. Why are you bothered what people who don’t think the same way as you do? Perhaps you should be more introspective and think about why you seemingly NEED these thrills for your life to be interesting.

[Cambiarelnombre]

I spent my childhood moving around and that’s the reason I am now a homebird

[AhhhhThatsBass]

I'm married to a homebird. I'm desperate to move abroad. I feel very trapped as have DC so not like I can upsticks and move to Hong Kong. But would move abroad tomorrow without a backward glance if the opportunity presented itself. Alas I'm totally stuck. So count your blessings OP.

Of my homebird friends, National Trust, holidays in Cornwall, Center Parcs, and pottering about in the garden at weekends seem to be common themes. But actually I think they're luckier than me. They are completely happy/content in their lives whereas I am probably not, despite outwardly seeming to have it all.

[AngelL7]

Holidays! ...but I always look forward to getting home again

[babyno5]

@brownmouse that is exactly how I feel too! Even drinking said tea from my favourite mug! Pulling into the drive every evening and seeing lights on, my dog waiting by the window for me and the incessant noise from my kids.

[ItMadeMyEyesWater]

I love my home ,and it's a good job as I have agoraphobia. I don't have to worry about the things in the outside world that drove me to a nervous breakdown. I go to bed with a clear mind and wake up not dreading the day ahead. My little dogs bring me such happiness. I have a nice house, which I enjoy looking after. My two boys both in their thirties, are extremely kind and thoughtful, I love them to bits. This homebird wouldn't change a thing.

[creaturefeatures]

I used to really like changing things for the thrill and excitement. Then I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and realised it was hypomania

I don't actively seek out 'thrills' now. Interest, trying new things, learning something new...sure. Thrills not really.

I guess I seek contentment rather than thrills.

I find contentment in my cats, making things creatively, quality time with friends and family, learning new skills, etc.

[marymoosmum]

Holidays/days out with my DH and DC, watching tv cuddled up with my DH and listening to music. We are moving house at the moment and finding it so stressful.

[Ellyess]

You said it! Everyone's different! I say keep doing what is best for you as long as you want to. I do believe we're made to be ourselves and you are lucky enough to feel this drive to travel and it works for you. As for what else might replace it if you didn't do it? I doubt anything else would work. One day as you get older your life will adapt and change with your body and you'll do things slightly differently - maybe. I had to change abruptly and become a wheelchair user though I do walk a few metres. I managed! Other things come in, life sort of opens up unexpectedly. I'd say do what you love and do it wholeheartedly, for as long as you can. Assuming you're not a psychopathic, axe-wielding, murderer, and you didn't mention this. Follow your dreams it will make you a better person.

[Smudge100]

I have noticed that powerless creatures like animals and children like routine and dislike new novelty. You have to be secure to try out new things. I trust no-one and prefer routine.

[CaptainMarvelDanvers]

We moved around a lot when I was a child. People think kids are ok because they get on with it but really it’s because they have no other choice.

[Ellyess]

Whoops you asked us what excites US? Me? well now i'm a cripple (my word for myself) I am happiest when I'm with my dogs, listening to music - opera Puccini, Tosca... reading..... best book I read last yr was 'A Prayer for Owen Meany' by John Irving, browsing Internet, learning about Seventh Day Adventism, reading about same, ...hobbies; making necklaces with semi precious stones, learning about same, knitting, crochet, trying to work out how to fix the house for wheelchair, getting ideas for cheap ways to do things, (low income so budgeting is a challenge but it leads to all sorts of discoveries and ideas.)... I'm never at a loss for things to do although I can't get up and do the stuff I used to do. I quite often eat late because I lose track of time. Since I lost my mobility I've been busier than ever and learned far more than ever. I don't meet many people. I don't have time!

[Ellyess]

ItMadeMyEyesWater You sound lovely!

[virtualreality]

Great thread.

Sometimes far away hills are green. Then when they are not, another place is need for the green hills. That's great for many people who are in a position to try and actually LIVE in far flung places, or maybe just in Europe, who knows.

Anyway, to me my security is in my home, some people do not even have that, so I apologise if I sound condescending. But many will know what I mean.

Familiarity, no language difficulties, food I like, family close by (but in small doses!), a support network, knowing my way around the health services, not having to worry about anything. Someone will help me out if I need it in an emergency, things like that.

I travel a lot for leisure/pleasure. But one thing I know is that travelling and visiting a place is not the same as living there AT ALL.

Some people amaze me with their ability to just up sticks and try settle somewhere abroad. I don't think I could do that long term. But that is just me.

I love seeing my home city from above on the plane whenever I come home from abroad.

Everyone is indeed very different.

[ItMadeMyEyesWater]

Ellyess Thank you. I think you sound like we have a lot in common.

[toffee1000]

I had a stable childhood (we moved into our current house the day after my first birthday and we're still here almost 22 years later). I went abroad for a year (language degree) and it really made me realise that I am very much a homebird. I did not enjoy the year abroad at all (various reasons) and I loved it when I went home occasionally. I might be OK living abroad for a year or two if I was with a partner, but ultimately I would not want to live abroad permanently. I like being near family, I'm lucky in that I have a good relationship with my parents.

It's a fairly common thing for young people to go travelling abroad for months in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere. To me, that is my idea of hell. I like my home comforts too much. Holidays for a week or two, fine.

Plus, moving house a lot is pretty stressful for most. It's one of the most stressful things people do in their lifetime. I don't really want thrills either, just contentment and stability.

[nursy1]

I’ve moved a lot and travelled a lot in my time so I get what you mean. I enjoy that I have friends in different places of the globe. I’ve seen the wide world and experienced a lot of things my homebird friends haven’t - at least not first hand.
Now moved back to very near the place I grew up. Some friends I’ve kept up with have been here all their lives. I get what satisfy the homebirds. They have roots. Their knowledge of the families around them and their lives is deep. It gives them a massive sense of community and belonging.