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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ring my mum at 3:30am

151 replies

Mirrorbella · 08/02/2018 03:36

I’ve just woken up and had an urge to make sure my Dad is OK. I’ve never had this feeling before and I can’t settle. I don’t want to wake her up unnecessarily but at the same time I’m thinking “what if....”

I’m not usually particularly woo and hadn’t had any dreams that would have unsettled me etc

OP posts:
cantsleepclownwilleatme · 08/02/2018 03:38

Call if you're really worried

cantsleepclownwilleatme · 08/02/2018 03:38

And I hope all is ok!

FannyWisdom · 08/02/2018 03:39

How old are they?
Will you scare them?

ohfourfoxache · 08/02/2018 03:46

If you really need to call then I’m sure your Mum won’t mind.

Hope everything is ok

Original poster
Mirrorbella · 08/02/2018 03:50

I’ve called but she must have her phone on silent. Not sure whether to ring the house phone.

They’re both early 60s.

Thanks for replying

OP posts:
melj1213 · 08/02/2018 04:16

YABVU!! As weirded out as you are, if anyone rang me at 3.30am on a Thursday morning to "check I was OK" I would murder them for waking me up.

Anyone phoning at this time of night means either someone is dead, seriously ill or some other bad/tragic news that just can't wait unless it's a prearranged "Three rings" call (eg if DD is travelling with her dad she always calls to say they arrived no matter what time of day or night it is, but I am expecting it and it just a courtesy so I can settle knowing they're safe). It is not a call I would ever want to get from family on a whim.

Also, and i say this in the nicest possible way, if something terrible was happening then I don't think their top priority would be talking to you on the phone, and if it was then they'd call you.

scurryfunge · 08/02/2018 04:19

I would find it very odd if anyone called me at that time for no reason.

Original poster
Mirrorbella · 08/02/2018 04:21

That was my initial thought melj and in a way I’m glad I didn’t wake my mum up as I know she wouldn’t get back to sleep after being woken like that. I’ve sent her a text to let her know she doesn’t need to panic (which she probably would if she woke up and saw a missed call from me at this time of the morning)

Sure she’ll ring me at 7 to tell me I’m daft! Tomorrow (today) is going to be a long day in work after waking up at this time

OP posts:
Redglitter · 08/02/2018 04:43

My mum wouldn't bat an eyelid if I phoned. Especially if it was going to reassure me.

heron98 · 08/02/2018 04:53

My phone is off at night so no one can call me. No way I'm being woken.

ThomasShelbysBunnet · 08/02/2018 04:59

I've just read the woo thread about feelings like this - if you can't shake it off, I'd call the landline.

Bluetree · 08/02/2018 05:13

No you are absolutely not being unreasonable.

Always follow your gut x

GlitteryFluff · 08/02/2018 05:17

I wonder if you were having a dream where something bad happens to your dad but you can't remember now you're awake - only you know there's something in your mind about your dad? Hopefully it's just that.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 08/02/2018 05:27

Always follow your gut, we ignore it at our peril.

HappenedForAReisling · 08/02/2018 05:50

I had this nearly 30 years ago when I was in Thailand. That many years ago there was no social media or mobile phones. It wasn't a dream but just a horrible feeling. It was a long day waiting for her to get up - due to the time difference - to find a public phone and call her (She was fine).

lovesugarfreejelly63 · 08/02/2018 05:55

If my daughter was worried and upset about her Dad I would not mind what time she called me day or night.

princesssparkle1 · 08/02/2018 06:00

Who are you phoning for? You're phoning to make YOU feel better. Phoning won't help anyone but you and might upset other people. Ergo - don't.

StealthPolarBear · 08/02/2018 06:01

Come on this is madness, people do get that? Unless you have a reason to be worried (eg recovering from surgery) then it's all in your mind. Call, but nowish not in the middle of the night :)

margaritasbythesea · 08/02/2018 06:04

I would think that you would scare the living daylights out of anyone calling them at 3.30 am. She will assume something is terribly wrong. I would be really annoyed with DH if he did this to me to check on the kids when he is on one of his work trips.

Cooroo · 08/02/2018 06:08

As I get older I find it harder to get back to sleep after being woken. I'd really be pissed off if someone rang me for a feeling.

Bad events cannot be perceived by you at a distance. I'm sorry if you're feeling anxious, but it has no relation to reality. Please let your parents sleep!

Pleasebeafleabite · 08/02/2018 06:22

I am a firm believer in gut instincts but surely they are for catching cheating husbands not phoning relatives in the middle of the night for no good reason

Iwillstartagainonmonday · 08/02/2018 06:22

YNBU to be worried about your parents at all OP. Flowers

YABU to ring ay that time of the morning though, more for the fact your parents will wake up and panic that everything is okay with you with you ringing at time of the morning. They've probably got their phone on silent.

I do sympathise with you completely though, I suffer from nightmares and never sleep well enough, I once had the most vivid horrid nightmare where I dreamt my dad was fatally injured in a crash, I totally rang him up at 1am to check he was okay. Blush

I'm now more subtle and if I have similar nightmares and just go on fb to see when he was last active on messenger, I don't wake him up that way but I'm still reassured.

AuntLydia · 08/02/2018 06:26

I'm with princesssparkle. How would ringing help them? It wouldn't. So why 'follow your instincts'. I would never have phoned them and risked wrecking their sleep to put my own mind at rest

ChaosNeverRains · 08/02/2018 06:26

always follow your gut what a load of absolute shite. Can’t believe how many people are actually saying it’s ok to ring someone off the back of a feeling about someone who has no health problems or issues at 3:30 AM.

There is absolutely no question that I could ring my parents and vice versa at that hour if there were genuine concerns but a gut feeling isn’t one of them and I would be bloody fuming at anyone who rang me at that hour just because they’d had a gut feeling. Very, very unreasonable.

And let’s be honest here,if there actually was something wrong, is there anything you can do at that hour? Doubt it..

Evelynismycatsformerspyname · 08/02/2018 06:31

^

Exactly what Chaos said!

Every part of it but especially wtf good would you phoning at 3:30am do even if your "gut feeling" was accurate?

There are occasions when phoning your mumat 3:30am would be the right call, but none of them are related to dreams or gut feelings or woo.