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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ring my mum at 3:30am

151 replies

Mirrorbella · 08/02/2018 03:36

I’ve just woken up and had an urge to make sure my Dad is OK. I’ve never had this feeling before and I can’t settle. I don’t want to wake her up unnecessarily but at the same time I’m thinking “what if....”

I’m not usually particularly woo and hadn’t had any dreams that would have unsettled me etc

OP posts:

readysteadyteddy · 08/02/2018 10:17

Is everything OK OP?

I DS (3) comes into my room at two in the morning and pats the bed and says "Is that Mummy?" and I don't mind at all! If, like last night, he then wants to go downstairs and play I get a bit irritated, but mostly he just wants a snuggle.

Aridane · 08/02/2018 10:22

Very, very unreasonable to do so

Gottagetmoving · 08/02/2018 10:26

Always follow your gut, we ignore it at our peril

Even if it's irrational and disturbs someone? Yeah right!
I'm sure you would be contacted if there was a problem.
It's selfish!

Suenahmi · 08/02/2018 10:30

I would not have called, because i don't believe that there is a sixth sense. I think it is pure coincidence and we just remember the time that we had these thoughts and they were correct and forget all the times we had these thoughts and they were wrong.
Having said that, if my children were worried about us in the middle of the night I would prefer them to call..I would view it as a sign they cared I think.
However, I am now really curious about what your mum said. Was she supportive of you calling in this situation or was she annoyed?

Aridane · 08/02/2018 10:41

What would the call have achieved (other than put your mind at rest or confirmation your hunch that all was not well)?

Violletta · 08/02/2018 10:42

forget all the times we had these thoughts and they were wrong.

totally this - i think the only thing you can do in these times is at most send a text and then if they are awake and need you, they will know you are awake and it would be ok to call - if you woke me up on a 'feeling' i would not be impressed at all

mommytoboo86 · 08/02/2018 10:42

I would have rang the landline.
this has happened to me a few times...
The first I was 19 and woke at approx 4am with a sense of grief and dread I just could not shake. I ignored it but couldn't sleep, at 6am my grandad phoned and asked me to wake up my dad... my nan had died after having a stroke that caused an embolism. I never got to say goodbye and if I had phoned and found out I could have gone to the hospital and been with her.
The second was wen I was 23 and i was struck with a massive headache again feeling something was wrong. I again ignored it thinking I was getting ill to find out an hour later my mum had been found at home collapsed. turned out she had a brain tumour.
then at 28 I woke up at 1.30am and something was telling me I HAD to phone my dad. I hadnt woken him as he had bad heartburn but assured me he was fine but 2 hours later my grandad phoned me to tell me my dad had had a heart attack and had been rushed to a hospital 40 miles away to have emergency surgery. thankfully he survived.
Then last year dd3 went to bed absolutely fine but I woke up hearing dd1 shout for me (she wasn't in the house) with a need to check on dd3. I opened her door to find she'd vomited in her sleep.
Finally, in the last 10 years I have met 4 men that instantly set alarm bells ringing in my gut and I've told dh "there something about xxx", all 4 of them have turned out to be very sick people who u wouldn't want glancing at u let alone anywhere near u or ur kids!

Some people may think it's crazy and doesn't exist but it's called woman's intuition/gut feeling/etc for a reason and it's been proven many times before.
never ignore ur gut and honestly if any of my dd's phoned me in the middle of the night panicking I wouldn't mind cos it's my job as their mother to reassure them whether their 3 or 33

Nanny0gg · 08/02/2018 10:45

Some people may think it's crazy and doesn't exist but it's called woman's intuition/gut feeling/etc for a reason and it's been proven many times before. never ignore ur gut and honestly if any of my dd's phoned me in the middle of the night panicking I wouldn't mind cos it's my job as their mother to reassure them whether their 3 or 33

Well I wouldn't appreciate it. If there was a problem it wouldn't be long before I would be able to phone my DC so there would be no need to phone me 'just in case'.

manicinsomniac · 08/02/2018 10:45

If dad was having some kind of episode and needed help, but mum was asleep, then a phone call to wake might indeed be useful!

Well yes, it would be. But how on earth could OP get the knowledge that this was happening from miles away. It's not possible.

I understand random panic, especially in the middle of the night. I have MH problems and can work myself up into hysteria over 'a feeling' in seconds. But there's no basis of fact in these feelings - they're in our heads, not actually over real things in the world. If we're not in a place (physically, visually or aurally) we cannot possibly know what's happening in it.

Aridane · 08/02/2018 10:46

I am sorry to hear all that, mommy - but still don't see what acting on your premonitions would have achieved (other than perhaps the first one)

shockthemonkey · 08/02/2018 10:54

"shock I'm so sorry to hear the news about your gran. How awful.

But I did smile at your first instinct being a baked potato! Isn't it funny how we act in a crisis sometimes?"

Thanks Practice, and I agree absolutely! I wasn't in the least bit hungry, either

shockthemonkey · 08/02/2018 10:57

"We forget all the times we've had these thoughts and were wrong"

... not necessarily. When the feelings are very strong and leave you unsettled for a long time, they are hard to forget. I'll bet OP won't be forgetting last night in a hurry, even after (hopefully) getting the welcome news that all is indeed well at home.

HateTheDF · 08/02/2018 10:58

I have had that feeling once before, it's really odd. I went into a panic for no reason and was very worried about my Mum - it turned out she was having a heart attack. Fortunately she's okay but I've never been able to describe the feeling.

I hope everything is okay OP.

Ivymaud · 08/02/2018 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizardMonitor · 08/02/2018 10:59

It is really fucking frightening to get a phone call in the middle of the night, and after a worry like that would be very hard to get back to sleep.

I am aghast that so many of you urged the OP to call, based on some 'feeling'.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 08/02/2018 11:01

So....no update?

floriad · 08/02/2018 11:04

mommy

I'm so sorry.

And I'm so glad your daughter is ok.

Snacktimonious · 08/02/2018 11:29

So....no update?

OP has likely woken up, shaken off those 3am nightmare feelings with which many of us are familiar, had a cup of tea, feels much better and has realised how daft it was to call in the middle of the night. .

Ivymaud · 08/02/2018 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PollyPerky · 08/02/2018 14:57

A woman's intuition shouldn't be taken any notice of when it says call parents in their 60s in the middle of the night for no real reason.

I am always amazed at the 'logic and reasoning' of some posters on threads like this

Finola1step · 08/02/2018 15:07

I reckon the OP did wake her parents at silly o'clock and no one could get back to sleep until dawn. Then there was over sleeping, much rushing around and everyone feeling tired and crap all day. Hence the no response from OP.

Gottagetmoving · 08/02/2018 16:10

I'm glad my daughter doesn't ring me every time she gets a 'feeling' She has them all the bloody time and is always wrong. Of course, one day she may be 'right' and then she will claim her intuition works. That's what people do...forget all those times they were wrong and claim psychic powers if they are right ...once!

IAmMumWho · 08/02/2018 16:18

I once had an awful dream that my nephew aged 2 at the time had been kidnapped. I didn't hesitate to call my brother at silly o'clock to see if all was well. He gave me a gob full for waking him but I needed to make sure LO was well. All was but still, weird dreams or just a gut feeling does make us panic. I'd do it again if I had another scary dream.

Nicknacky · 08/02/2018 16:21

You phoned your brother to check your nephew hadn't been kidnapped?! I've heard it all now. In would go crazy if someone woke the household with this stupidity.

Aridane · 08/02/2018 16:25

And what would your call have achieved, Uam, if nephew had been kidnapped?

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