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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
Cabininthewoods69 · 01/02/2018 14:10

Just say it's spent

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 01/02/2018 14:10

It's your choice. I probably would have given them a grand each but certainly not split it 3 ways. It's nothing to do with your boss.

Bluntness100 · 01/02/2018 14:11

What was the initial agreement with the scratch card?

StoatofDisarray · 01/02/2018 14:11

Did they share the prosecco and chocolates? If so, you should share the winnings.

Bluntness100 · 01/02/2018 14:11

And were the other gifts shared three ways?

FannyWisdom · 01/02/2018 14:12

No don't feel bad.
Why would you share, it was a personal gift not joint.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 01/02/2018 14:12

Greedy so-and-so's. I'm appalled! I would be looking for a new job, if I were you.

Congratulations on your winnings and good luck finding your new home.

Jengib · 01/02/2018 14:12

No you shouldnt have to split it you won it. They are obviously jelous. I would just say that you have spent it. Definitely not right for your boss to get involved though.

QuiteLikely5 · 01/02/2018 14:12

It was a gift and therefore belongs to you.

You treat them but they are unfortunately feeling jealous!

I wouldn’t be giving them a share. If it’s very uncomfortable tell them you’ve already paid it off your mortgage

IlikemyTeahot · 01/02/2018 14:13

Am I to understand that you had one each? If so then Boo hoo to them better luck next time. I'm surprised they still had a moan after you treated them. Anyone of you could have had that winner and it would be totally reasonable to not have shared it. For all they know you could of had another one of those scratches in your purse already would they still demand a handout?! I think it's ridiculous that they expect anything from you! Childish behaviour from them and your boss should know better.

lorelairoryemily · 01/02/2018 14:13

Was it a bottle or prosecco a box of chocolates and a scratch card each? If so then they can fuck off! Greedy bitches! Even if it was prosecco for one chocolates for one and scratch card for one I still wouldn't share it. Ridiculous. Although I probably wouldn't have told them I won it either to be honest

MapMyMum · 01/02/2018 14:14

No you were gifted a scratchcard, unless it was stipulated that any winnings had to be split equally then no, they received their scratchcards too, its just hard luck theirs werent winners

Picklepickle123 · 01/02/2018 14:14

Was there only one scratch card? Or a scratch card each?

MargoLovebutter · 01/02/2018 14:14

Have to say, I would have kept completely & utterly silent and wouldn't have let on that I won, as someone was bound to be jealous.

The scratchcard was a gift to you, so you owned it and you won. Scratchcard is gambling, same as putting a tenner on a number on a roulette table. Your number came up, theirs didn't.

Now, they know and they're a bit green eyed. Your just going to have to tough it out. Tell them you immediately paid off the crippling debt that you had or something like that. They'll get over it eventually.

MiniAlphaBravo · 01/02/2018 14:14

They are being CFs. Ideally you wouldn't have told them but now they know, just say you spent it on paying off debts so there's nothing left. It was generous of you to take them out so I yanbu.

SillyMoomin · 01/02/2018 14:14

It’s sour grapes op. You did a lovely thing by taking them out to lunch and spa time, and (with hindsight), I probably wouldn’t have told anyone in the office I’d won....

Ignore them. Tell your boss politely that the money has been spent as it was your winning card and you apologise that the other two women are upset, but there’s nothing you can (or would) do

Original poster
werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:14

There was no agreement with the scratch cards - we were each given one in a gift bag, along with a bottle of prosecco and chocolates.

We each had our own prosecco and chocs and we all took them home, nothing was opened at the office.

OP posts:
PinkHeart5914 · 01/02/2018 14:14

You all got a scratch card each, yours was the winner so really the others need to get a grip

Sometimes in life you lose and unfortunately the scratch cards they ad were losers

I wonder how many of the others would willingly share if the boot was on the other foot?

MrsHouseBrownie · 01/02/2018 14:14

Nope. You shouldn't share it. You did a nice gesture by taking them out. It was your gift At the end of the day. Bet they wouldn't share if they had won it. Your mistake was to tell them you had won.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 01/02/2018 14:14

Seriously?

Tell him & them, to jog on.

Delatron · 01/02/2018 14:14

Did you each get a scratch card and yours was the winner?

If so, it's your money and they are very cheeky!

TwitterQueen1 · 01/02/2018 14:14

the boss didn't try to claim his share then?!

No, I don't think I would share. I'm not sure I'd even give the others anything at all tbh as that might possible indicate that you feel they should get something.....

I think I might just have lied and said I hadn't won anything.

That's the way life rolls sometimes.... enjoy the money OP!

Soubriquet · 01/02/2018 14:15

No you shouldn't split it.

I understand how they feel, I would be gutted if this happened to me and my colleagues won a big amount, but I would also congratulate them and then suck it up.

I would definitely appreciate what you have bought too

FissionChips · 01/02/2018 14:15

Don’t share it, look for a new job instead.

martellandginger · 01/02/2018 14:15

It was your gift. I’d laugh and say you cant be serious.

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