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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have shared?

439 replies

werkwerkwerk · 01/02/2018 14:08

I've name changed for this as it is very outing!

Basically, I work in a small office with 2 other ladies doing the admin etc, for a local business. I have been there, full time, for just over 3 years, the 2nd works part time and has been there for almost 1 year and the 3rd is a new starter, still on probation.

We don't socialise outside of work and I wouldn't say we were particularly friendly.

For Christmas, the 3 of us were given a bottle of prosecco, a box of chocolates and a scratch card.

My scratch card was a winner! £25k winner.

I was over the moon! I've had a tough few years financially and this really couldn't have come at a better time. The money paid off a few bills and the rest will be used as a deposit on my very own little house (as soon as I find it!) I'm very excited!

After new year, I invited the 2 ladies I work with out for a champane afternoon tea in a swanky hotel and then we went for manicures and pedicures. All my treat.

This morning, I was taken into the office by the owner of the business and told that the other ladies have asked him to speak to me regarding the winnings, as they feel it should be shared 3 ways. And my boss agrees as he feels that my winning has caused a bad vibe in the office.

AIBU by not sharing? I'll be honest and say that the thought of sharing with them never even crossed my mind and I still have no intention of doing so, but I just wanted to get some other opinions...

OP posts:
Jammycustard · 01/02/2018 15:08

Bloody hell, ungrateful cahs.

Kitsharrington · 01/02/2018 15:09

Why did you even mention that you'd won? You say yourself you aren't friendly so I can't understand why you told them.

YourVagesty · 01/02/2018 15:09

I bet they would've congratulated you on your good luck if you't just won £25 and not demanded £8.33 each or whatever it would be.

I would say that how you play this depends on whether you see this causing big problems, how long you are going to stay at that company for and how much you care. 1k each (maximum) out of good will (and make it clear that it's good will), to smooth things over if you care about it. But don't feel obligated. The money is yours, all of it.

Aria2015 · 01/02/2018 15:10

No don't share! Before I read your full post I was thinking how I'd just do something similar to you, take them for a treat to celebrate, you've already done that and I think that's enough. I work with two other women and we get on great and I'd say we're friends and I wouldn't expect them to share with me if they won. It's literally luck and you were the lucky one. To be honest, it's such a large amount that if it does cause ill feeling it's worth leaving your job over.

It's so easy for others (including them) to say they'd share if they'd have won but I bet they wouldn't want to either.

Lesson learnt for your boss though - no more scratch cards as gifts for staff Grin.

kerryleigh · 01/02/2018 15:10

Why would you!? It wasn't 1 scratch card for the 3 of you. Each of you got 1, yours was a winner, enjoy! end of story :)
The owner of the business should've told them the same
No, you shouldn't share and they shouldn't expect you to
By the way, it was very nice of you to treat them and they should appreciate it

CatherineUC · 01/02/2018 15:11

No, you shouldn't be pressured into sharing it. That scratch card was your gift. Do you think they would have shared it if they had won? They, and your boss are being ridiculous.

UnicornRainbowColours · 01/02/2018 15:11

No way should you share, it’s a lottery you got lucky and you were very kind to take them out.

They sound vile, maybe it’s time for a fresh job.

scottishdiem · 01/02/2018 15:11

You each got one!?!

Tell them all to get to fuck. Its luck, nothing more.

UrsulaPandress · 01/02/2018 15:12

Congratulations on your win!

And no way would I have shared, especially with such cheeky individuals.

The80sweregreat · 01/02/2018 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MerlinsScarf · 01/02/2018 15:14

greenlanes has made a good suggestion. OP, the afternoon tea sounds like a lovely treat. You did a nice thing and I'm sorry your colleagues have shown this side of themselves.

Gemini69 · 01/02/2018 15:17

Get a lawyers letter.... and tell them how it is.. it's YOUR WIN Flowers

jo0niper · 01/02/2018 15:17

No chance!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 01/02/2018 15:18

has the OP been back?

Repeatedly. RTFT.

mikeyssister · 01/02/2018 15:18

Did you tell them how much you won?

If not just say the money paid off debts which now enables you to save for a mortgage.

Fecking Cheeky Bitches

honeysucklejasmine · 01/02/2018 15:21

the80s yes, several times. You know you can change your settings to highlight the OPs post?

WorldPeasAndSweetcorn · 01/02/2018 15:21

Unbelievable cheeky fuckery

ManicUnicorn · 01/02/2018 15:23

Would they have shared with you OP, had they won instead. I think we all know answer to that.

Tell them to fuck off.

RedDogsBeg · 01/02/2018 15:23

The80s did you make any attempt to read the thread before you posted?

zzzzz · 01/02/2018 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrokeAndBad · 01/02/2018 15:24

Wtaf?!

UnicornRainbowColours · 01/02/2018 15:24

I honestly am shocked actually at this...what kind of self respecting human person goes to cry to the boss because their colleague got incredibly lucky and won a jackpot.

I mean like wtf...how cringe.

morningconstitutional2017 · 01/02/2018 15:26

It's really up to you whether you share this or not. It always causes bad feelings if a big win isn't shared but it's not as though you all go to the bingo together each week and had an agreement in place.
I wonder what either of the other two ladies would have done? Would they have shared it equally? Though I suppose that's not the point. I think that secrecy is probably the best policy but it's too late for that. You're the one who has to share an office with them and I suspect it has caused an atmosphere. Oh dear.

DeadButDelicious · 01/02/2018 15:26

You each got a card, you won, they didn't, thems the breaks. Asking you to share your winnings is cheeky fuckery of the highest order.

BrokeAndBad · 01/02/2018 15:26

Would they have shared?! Not bloody likely!

Maybe time to move on sadly

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