Table Manners

[ciele]

AIBU to think such things are important?
I was brought up to consider such stuff as no elbows on the table, not eating with your mouth open, putting knife and fork together when you have finished as non negotiable.
My OH thinks these things are just the way my family was (read that as you will but I take it to mean shallow and overly concerned with the niceties).

Sounds very Victorian, none of those things has ever concerned my parents, myself or my children. Life is to short.

Eating with your mouth open is horrible ans is to be discouraged. Basic manners there-non negotiable.
Placing your knife and fork together is reasonable, that's what we do.

Not too concerned about elbows.

Elbows on the table is fine in our house.

Keeping your mouth shut when you chew is an important courtesy to others and putting your knife and fork together when you've finished eating helps waiting staff in restaurants know that it's OK to clear the plates away, therefore is a good habit.

Certain table manners are ott and unnecessary. The no elbows on table thing always irritated me growing up, what is the point? No clipping your toenails at the table, sure, but elbows?...

Not eating with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth is a must, though. It makes me rage!

Another vote for good table manners instilled at an early age. Manners maketh man and woman.

Basic manners isn't it. Keep your mouth shut when you're chewing.

I agree life is too short. Weirdly though I still put my knife and fork together. but I do speak with my mouth full

I am extremely hot on table manners with my 5 year old, he always says please and thank you without needing to be promted, sits properly at the table, doesn’t start til we’re all seated and waits until we’re all finished before asking to leave the table, then taking his plate over to the sink/dishwasher. My fiancé’s son is a bit lax on some of these as his mum is, so my fiancé constantly has to remind him which bugs me a bit particularly the mouth open when eating but I don’t think it’s wrong to want to teach your children table manners, when they’re older and take a partner out or clients for work etc I don’t want my children to be looked at like animals.

Elbows and knives and forks together ar eof no consequence to anyone. It literally does not matter where on your plate your knife is when you’ve finished. But nobody wants to see your food inside your mouth so of course eating with your mouth closed is good manners.

They are important in my Victorian household!

Never a bad thing to have nice manners, is it?

I have young kids and have always instilled good table manners. I don't think your parents did anything wrong in fact I feel as a society we are somehow laid back with manners and etiquette whether at home or outside

I can't believe anyone would be ok with DC eating with their mouths open. I mean you want your DC to have friends and relationships...

I had those same rules
I stick to mouth closed - its horrible otherwise

The knife and fork thing is a symbol for staff I don't have to clear the table. So I suppose I'm not overly fussed by that as everyone in my house clears their own plate, but its good for restaurants

I don't understand what the elbow thing is all about to be honest. I have reached a compromise elbows after food is finished/between courses is ok. I've had to ease into that as DH family have elbows on table all the time and I couldn't see any harm coming from it - but I grew up with it be frowned upon.

Come and see the food throwing and generally shitty table manners in a school and then tell me it isn't important. I know kids who chew food and then spit it out. I wish more people bothered to teach their kids how to sit at a table, or even just to sit, and eat.

I'm a bit of a stickler for good table manners. Both DC have lovely manners despite being 97% ridiculous and it pleases me.

Most children I know have lovely table manners, though, especially the ones in my class at school.

Table manners are very important and is part of teaching children how to conduct themselves as adults. Using cutlery appropriately, putting them together at the end of a meal, 'may I leave the table' etc etc. Only thing I don't mind is elbows on the table as that's down to personal comfort

I was brought up with those, and insist on them now. It's hardly Victorian. I am well aware that very few parents bother with table manners judging by my DCs friends who come for tea. The eating with mouth open alone is disgusting, but so many children do it these days. I don't like seeing elbows on the table either, it looks awful. Children also seem incapable of sitting still at the table. My DCs aren't perfect but I always get told how well they eat when they have tea at others houses. I also put the knife and fork the 'correct' way around when setting the table. DH argues with me about this as he doesn't see the point but if the DCs were to eat in fancy restaurants or have business dinners when they are older, I think it helps if they are taught the right way to eat from the beginning.

I think it's a life skill like driving a car. I will teach my children how to function at all sorts of levels in order to adapt to their surrounds. Having good manners is a key skill IMO

My Dad would get very angry if we drank using a straw without holding the glass too.

Also putting the fork/spoon to your mouth and only taking some of the food from it.

Licking the knife. Wouldn't have dared.

My DC have impeccable table manners! It’s my DH who doesn’t and thinks I’m ‘Victorian’!

Does your DH eat with his mouth open ciele?

In our home table manners are basic manners, they're important. I totally agree with you.

It literally does not matter where on your plate your knife is when you’ve finished.

It matters if you're eating out. Knife and fork together signals to the waiting staff that you've finished eating and they can take your plate away.