Splitting outgoings with my DP?

[moneymoney1]

NC for this.

So long and short of it is..

DP spends 70% of his income each month towards bills (everything from mortgage to gym membership - anything left is for pure luxuries)

I spend 96.5% of my income towards the same outgoings. Again, anything left is solely for luxuries. So our outgoings between us we half.

Obviously this leaves me with a very small amount each month £50 or less, while he turns out with £735.

Is this unfair on me or unfair on him? He doesn't think he should be paying more just because he makes more.

Please be honest

My husband and I have always split the bills by wage %.

Over the years this has changed a lot. Sometimes I earn more, some times he does.
It is the only fair way I think to do it.

So that includes rent? You split rent 50/50? What happens of you go out to eat or something?

Unfair on you, he should pay more into the joint account. I’m assuming you hardly have any money most of the time, while he does and is able to treat himself.

We split the bills evenly even though he earns more, however, he gives me money if I run out before pay day so I suppose it works out that he pays more?!

Oh sorry just saw you said mortgage

What do you do about food and going out?

Didnt you discuss this before you got a mortgage? Because that must be a huge mortgage to take up such a huge chunk of your earnings?

Yes so all of our own bills (debt, petrol, car payments, gym etc) and the mortgage and utilities. So absolutely everything we need to pay each month. We half that amount and I am left with £45-£50 and he is left with £735.

It seems really 'wrong' now I write it down.

Yes it was discussed but whenever he fancies it he brings up the money situation.

So going out to eat is already included.. so I guess we half that too.

With my ExH we put into a joint account to pay all bills. It was split about 20/80 if I recall with me putting in 80% as the higher earner. Which was absolutely right and fair - we both worked full time - I think you should split your earnings percentage wise - so you both have money each month to spend on extras.

That is not fair I agree whatever is left at the end of the month should be split between the two of you

Hmmm not sure if you’ve included socialising in the before figures. So eating out cinemas drinks etc then this isn’t as horrid as it first sounds however yours is really low. Does he realise it’s that low. Maybe £400/300 would be a bit better

Thanks for the replies. Confirmed what I thought. It makes me sad he doesn't see it this way. How can he be happy knowing I am left with nothing when he has a ton left to treat himself or do anything he wants.

We both work full time.

Nope. Really unfair.

Yes he knows what I am left with. A lot of 'my' outgoings are towards debt, silly decisions made when I was younger and have definitely learnt my lesson. So because of this he doesn't take that into account as it's self inflicted so to speak. It is still something I have to pay though.

We pool everything, all bills, all income. We have a joint account,

Thats how me and my partner do it. We earn different amounts and i have more left over than he does, but i put about an extra £50 into joint account so he has a bit extra money for month.

I wouldn't want to do % of salary, doesn't seem fair

Is there any reason you can't increase your earnings through study or promotions in your career?

Me and DH split the bills evenly but we both earn similar amounts and if i happen to have more left over for some reason I might pay for dinner out etc and vice versa regarding the Ops situation, it seems odd that he'd be happy to leave you with so little and him with so much

and part of what we pay off is my debts from before we met.

mumof56 Yes I hope to get a pay rise soon and once my debt is cleared (in 2 years) things will be a lot better for me.** But as it stands now it doesn't look great for me

If he really doesn't see it that way, I would say we have to reduce outgoings, I'm running out of clothes etc and have no money. So I think we need to cut £200 a month so i have £100. And cancel the gym memberships , cancel going out it etc - so that it impacts both of you that you have no money.

He should definitely pay more. If you're sharing a life then things have to be reasonably equitable, otherwise the one worse off becomes resentful. This has clearly happened to you OP and I fully understand how you feel. You two might just be mates, he's not committed to your relationship.

What does he actually do with all that “luxuries” money? Does he fritter it away or is he saving it, pumping it into the mortgage as overpayments etc? If he’s just spending it down the pub then YANBU

We have a dc so may be different but we have a joint account and personal accounts too.
We deduct our personal bills and give ourselves some spending money then whatever is left goes into the joint account. I am currently part time so I put in less, my partner doesn't mind that he contributes more.