Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

YABU. And so are the eleventy billion other threads along the same lines.
When are people going to learn that you have this discussion before incurring costs, not after.

Did you factor service charge onto the (very precise) amount you tallied up? That will have upped it by approx a fiver.

If you really were not happy with the split you should have said something.

'She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything. '

And this is how people get away with cheek like this. Next time be clear: we thought we'd each pay for our own. So they paid a quid for their meal?

You'll have to let this go since you won't see her again, but YANBU

Are people really that prissy over 9 quid in a restaurant?

If I had the vouchers I'd use them and split the remainder by 4.

Next time, get the restaurant to bill you separately.

Discuss before. Not after (and not with people who weren't there / don't know you or your dinner companions)

What was the voucher? A gift voucher that had been bought or a discount code type voucher?
If it was a discount voucher they should have taken £40 off the bill & then split it so you paid half & they paid half.

Given that your amounts were so precise did you sit there with a calculator? I’m afraid you sound like the kind of people I would hate to go out with, but do do the voucher people

This sounds like a completely joyless meal. You are quibbling over £10 and haven't mentioned any tip or service charge.

YABU - if you were being stiffed by someone who had ordered expensive wine, lobster starters, filet mignon and cheese and port then you would have had a point, but getting into a stew about this and citing their one child as a reason why they should pay more - streuth!

'Are people really that prissy over 9 quid in a restaurant?'

I guess because the h only works PT and the OP doesn't work at all so it's a lot of dosh. But then, you say something.

'If I had the vouchers I'd use them and split the remainder by 4.'

Yeah, I would have, too.

YABU. The meal sounds totally joyless and you're still annoyed by paying for it- what's the point? You shouldn't bother going out if you're going to be like that

I have the receipt which is how I have the precise amounts. So that’s including all the service charges etc.

They didn’t pay anything except a £2 tip.
They used their vouchers totalling £40 and left me and DH to pay the rest.

The waiter was flustered by us saying we wanted 2 bills, so DH said not to bother and we’d sort it out after.

Well, now you know for next time.

Why should they discuss things in advance? You shouldn't assume that the bill would be split unless it is agreed by all parties.

What difference does knowing whether or not the bill is to be split make, unless you planning to order more and expect others to subsidise your indulgence?

And people should be able to want to pay for the food they had (plus tip) rather than splitting the bill and not be made to feel awkward. Circumstances or perceived circumstances (who works, doesn't work, how many DCs anyone has etc etc etc) makes not a jot of difference.

And it doesn't always even out over time. The person who likes three expensive courses and lots of booze isn't suddenly going to start having only have a main and water or vice versa.

There's nothing more galling than choosing a cheap option to save money while still getting to eat out, only to find someone else orders three expensive courses, loads of booze and then announces that the bill will be split. I don't think so.

Honestly, I really don't there's a big enough discrepancy there to quibble over. I would have expected to split the bill in those circumstances, and their £40 in vouchers was less than a quid out of the 50/50 split.

If money is really tight, and it's really important to you to pay the exact amount of your bill (plus tip and any shared items hopefully) then you have to mention it, as the default for the majority would be to split the bill.

Why wasn’t the final bill £61.75? Split by both of you should have been £30.87.

To be honest OP, if you go out with other people you really can't take this kind of attitude. I have never met anyone who calculates bills to the penny . So you paid an extra £10, so what? The other couple were probably not counting how many drinks you had, so just split the bill. Maybe they thought your water was a G&T? I hope you will forgive me saying this, but you sound way over-obsessive about money. People don't give a hoot about this kind of thing.

So you took the receipt home and added up the precise amounts?
Just go out as a couple in future, it will be less stressful for you

They should've shared the vouchers but these things happen. Don't worry about it any longer

Oh so two vouchers at £20 each.

YABU.

If the £20 off vouchers were one of the many freely available discount vouchers, the benefit should be shared by the whole party.

If they were gift vouchers, then they can be considered as cash and OK for the other couple to benefit fully from them.

I think splitting the bill is only OK when everyone has had similar ranges of meals, give it take a drink/starter/side dish. If someone is pigging out with 3 courses and 4 drinks, and their friend has 1 course and a water, for example, it’s never OK to split the bill. Cheeky fuckers will try it time and again thought.

When I’m eating out with friends I’m always paranoid I’m paying too little, not sneakily trying to shortchange the people I care about.

I posted last year about a day-before-a-wedding meal where DH and I had a pizza each, DD (then 3) just had some of mine, 2 drinks (DD had a Capri Sun from home), and DH and I shared a dessert...and then the best man (IIRC) asked us for £20 each. Including DD, so £60 in total. This was in Prezzo. There’s only so much cheek I’ll stand and I said no, we’re not paying that. We still paid about £20 over the odds though

I'd get prissy over it too. But yes you should say at the beginning. I went out with friends and ordered an expensive starter, main and dessert whereas they had a pasta dish each. I made it clear that I would be paying the lions share. Why should anyone sub my choices?

You were daft not to insist on 2 bills or to argue that the bill should be split evenly AFTER deducting the voucher savings.
Next time, open your mouth rather than sit silently seething.
This is from someone who refuses to subsidise other people's alcohol choices when I don't drink.