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AIBU?

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 06/11/2017 15:03

So its only £10, that can be a lot of money. If that's a lot of money, you dont eat out

Some people really do live in another world on here dont they. Hmm

Pengggwn · 06/11/2017 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovemusic33 · 06/11/2017 15:03

I have just been out to lunch with 2 friends, friend 1 asked (when it was time to pay) if we could each pay for our own which is fair enough, she shared a pot of tea with friend 2 but wanted the price of the pot of tea split between 2, it was only £3.60, I thought friend 1 was being a bit tight to be honest. I don't understand why people have to be so tight over a few £? If I go out to lunch with one friend I often offer to pay as it's easier than splitting or we both pay half rather than paying for our own.

RockinRobinTweets · 06/11/2017 15:04

The only ones who should insist on splitting a bill are those who are happy to be hard done by. If I’ve gone all out, I make sure I put more in.

You live and learn though and would do something next time

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:04

if nine quid was make or break, I wouldn’t have went to the meal in the first place

Who actually says ‘I won’t go to that meal actually just in case the other people want to split the bill and have £9 more food than me’?

No one lives like that! You go assuming people aren’t going to be tight arses when it comes to paying.

LadyinCement · 06/11/2017 15:05

I don't deny that to some £10 can be a lot of money. But it's not enough money to warrant being "annoyed" and upset after the event .

Furthermore OP says "I'm one of those people who like to pay for just my meal" so she's no stranger to eating out.

I think if the friend's girlfriend/wife/whatever had been a barrel of laughs and OP had liked her the £10 would have been neither here nor there. As it is the OP had a bum evening and the £10 overpayment is just one of the irritating elements.

LagunaBubbles · 06/11/2017 15:05

Well in that case Laguna they need to speak up and not pay the extra for someone else!

I agree with that. But then again Im not friends with cheeky friends.

BarbaraofSevillle · 06/11/2017 15:05

There's nothing miserable about going out for just a main and a drink and paying for what you have. How ridiculous to say you'd rather not go. Portions are usually so enormous these days that a main is often plenty of food on it's own.

Luckily the group I eat out with every month feel the same way as me and no-one expects others in the group to pay for the food that they eat.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:05

I remember my first job. I was very young.We were out for a Christmas meal. I was on low pay and had £10(30 yrs ago) I chose within my budget. The big bosses were drinking copious amounts of wine, eating 3 courses and ordering steaks etc and then suggested splitting the bill. It was £20 each! I had to come clean to someone. Luckily one kind lady paid for me and kept it quiet to save my embarrassment. Never forgotten her and never split bills unless all having the same.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:06

I never have more than a main course and a couple of drinks. i don't like pudding and if I have a starter I rarely finish my main.

ExConstance · 06/11/2017 15:06

It sounds like a joyless meal to me, I'd be asking what was wrong if my friends were sticking to one course and a soft drink ( driving excepted) If it was a very expensive restaurant and one couple ran up a much bigger bill than the other I'd want to split it by couple but here, with a cheap meal out I think it would be unreasonable to do anything other than divide by 4. Why didn't you make it clear at the start that you wanted two bills if you were concerned about money?

Bluntness100 · 06/11/2017 15:07

The thing is it’s so easy to say to the waiter “can uou run two seperate tabs please”, then order your drinks or food. Then just say to the other couple “we need to pay for just our own as on a budget” or something.

Yes it makes it all a little awkward for a moment , but better that what you’re feeling now.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:08

This reminds of tea/coffee money at work. Those that drink 6/7 coffees with milk and sugar daily want those that only use hot water to subsidise their caffeine habit!

RaquelWelch · 06/11/2017 15:08

Been out with a friend who thinks she is just amazing and only drinks champagne. So she orders glasses of champers and everyone else ends up contributing!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:08

I'd be asking what was wrong if my friends were sticking to one course and a soft drink

Sometimes I think MN in on another planet. Why would there be something wrong with just having a main course?! If I’m not that hungry that’s all I have, I don’t think I’m being joyless Hmm

Bubblebubblepop · 06/11/2017 15:09

No one is saying it's wrong to go out and have the cheapest main meal and a glass of tap water. What is wrong is then insisting you are only paying for that and making everyone else calculate exactly what they've had - miserable!

DunkMeInTomatoSoup · 06/11/2017 15:09

Some people really do live in another world on here dont they.

No I don't live in Nando-land, no

But if I had two children and £10 would make or break the bank, I certainly woudlnt be eating out with another couple I clearly didnt like

Anyway all of this is irrelevent because normal people get the bill and divide by the number of persons on the table. Unless you are students and have discussed this beforehand.

12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:09

The OP had a pizza and water. It sounds like was then watching what everyone else had like a hawk. I wonder why she bothered going in the first place.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:10

If I’m not that hungry that’s all I have,

It's what I have when I AM hungry.

BarbaraofSevillle · 06/11/2017 15:11

No, if you only have a tenner to go out you should have your pizza and water and sit there while your friend has scallops, steak, dessert and a bottle of wine and then pull a couple more tenners out of your arse when the bill comes and they suggest splitting it Hmm.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:11

This reminds of tea/coffee money at work. Those that drink 6/7 coffees with milk and sugar daily want those that only use hot water to subsidise their caffeine habit

I don’t drink any hot drinks, ever, or use any milk. I have glasses of water at work. Bossy Knickers from accounts (as I call her) who runs the tea and coffee fund always leaves me notes on my desk saying “you owe £20 for this month’s coffee fund please”. I’ve given up reminding Bossy that I don’t drink hot drinks so won’t be contributing the (extortionate) amount.

LadyinCement · 06/11/2017 15:12

If this was a "getting to know you" dinner then it does seem a bit off to order a very spartan meal. It sort of implies you're not going to invest much in the evening and the company.

If money is very tight, then meeting for a couple of drinks or having someone to dinner seems a better option.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:12

Why is it wrong to only pay for what you had if you’ve eaten cheap and others haven’t?! So someone has to get a calculator out, boo hoo!

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:13

Why do people think it's ok for others to subsidise their meal? Does it not make you feel uncomfortable? if we eat out and have a bottle of wine and the other couple have soft drinks, we always pay for our wine. i wouldn't dream of asking them to stump up for it. It's only fair to split if everyone has had same amount of courses and drinks.

Bluntness100 · 06/11/2017 15:13

But you don’t have to make everyone else calculate, you just say to the waiter can I have my own bill please at the beginning. Everyone else then splits.

If you can’t afford to go over your budget or don’t want to pay for anything more than you’ve had exactly, then this js really the only way to handle it.