Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

[12hrsoff]

Well she drinks wine most evenings. As I say (not to sound like a hypochondriac), I can't drink more than one glass because I feel it for days. I don't mind psying though because I know she would do the same if I had let her.

[PuppyMonkey]

12hrs, your CF friend sounds a charmer.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

She drinks £75 bottles of wine most evenings?!!

[BarbaraofSevillle]

It's really not painstakingly anal to glance at the bill or the menu and think 'my starter was 4.95, my main 11.95, drinks 3.90 x2', that's 5+12+8 = 25, call it 28 with a tip. Cue a pile of money building and people swapping notes and taking change as needed.

That's how the people in the group I eat out with work and we get it sorted in a couple of minutes and are usually spot on within a couple of quid including a tip.

[12hrsoff]

I am not knowledgable about wine and I wouldn't be able to taste the difference between one type or the other. She is quite into wine, I suppose, as many people are.

[DiegoMadonna]

I can't believe your friend sat there and just let you pay for a £75 of wine that you'd had one glass of and no say in

Exactly. I would NEVER do that to a friend of mine, and no friend of mine would ever do it to me.

[Bluntness100]

Wouldn’t balance up in mine either, who orders 75 quid bottles of wine for a quick drink after work?

I agree with the poster it’s give and take though, I’d assume sometimes you may pay more other times you don’t. The thing is if you are having dinner with someone who is taking rhe piss then they are not your friend. If you’re having dinner with someone clearly being frugal,then you should offer to pay a higher share if you had more. This does not absolve the frugal person of the responsibility of saying something st the start of rhe meal though. They do have to take some personal responsibility, which the op and her husband totally failed to do.

[PuppyMonkey]

I bet she is.

[PuppyMonkey]

Into wine,I mean.

[Ifearthecold]

If you don't want to just split the bill it is fine to say before hand both to the other people who are eating with and the the waiter that you would like separate orders/ bills before you start. If you order as a group it is cringeworthy to sit afterwards toting up who has had what and getting the waiter to separate it all. In real life I have only experienced this at work functions as an adult. Happily my friends are able to cope with the idea of buying me drink and vice versa.

[Ifearthecold]

Not at 75 pound one though!

[Cantgetagoodusername]

The thing is OP maybe had budgeted £30 for the meal & although people are saying it's only £10 that £10 could be needed elsewhere.

I will admit (against possibly the majority) I will not divide the bill up..no way! I'm not paying for others alcoholic drinks, starters, puddings, steak etc

I'm not 'tight' or 'hardup' it's a principle thing for me. You want steak you pay for it. I want lasagne I pay for that.

But do agree that it should have been discussed at the beginning of the meal.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

'Into wine', indeed.

She saw you coming, is all.

Unless you're going to get her back next time by ordering a champagne cocktail with gold leaf at the Mandarin, you've been had.

[hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea]

if we eat out and have a bottle of wine and the other couple have soft drinks, we always pay for our wine. i wouldn't dream of asking them to stump up for it

I had dinner with a group recently and most shared wine, one couple had beer and soft drinks. We suggested splitting the bill and one of the couple had shitfit about how they didn't drink the wine and how dare we try and make them pay for other peoples expensive greedy tastes yada yada yada.
Thing is though, their soft drink and beer added up to rather more than the wine, which was shared between several people. Which I knew before suggesting the split. They left with lighter wallets and red faces and won't be invited again!

[Gottagetmoving]

It is so off putting when people sit there painstakingly adding up what they ate

Poor you. How awful. Far worse for you than someone having to worry about what they spend.
These awful people should never eat out or have friends. No bloody consideration have they?

[12hrsoff]

To be fair to my friend (sorry if this wine issue is derailing ), the couple we were out with on Fri was her and her DH. He insisted on paying for the whole evening and wouldn't let my DH get it. He got all my cocktails while they were on the wine and my bill would have been well over £75. Next month we'll take them out with others as it's my birthday. So this is what I mean by things balance out.

[Fattymcfaterson]

All this fuss over £7.78
Christ

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

We had got our time wrong for the cinema earlier that day. DH mentioned it to his friend when he asked how the film was.
So his friend invited us along with them as they were going to a cinema that evening.
We didn’t pick where we were eating as they had their vouchers.

Pizza was literally the only thing on the menu that I liked. It was just a cheese one, I don’t eat meat.
I also only had -yes tap- water because I’m pregnant so no alcohol, and I’m not enjoying soft drinks at the minute. I didn’t get it to make the meal cheaper.

The vouchers were Tesco, so I’m assuming from clubcard.

We had to put it on the credit card because it was short notice.

Yes we did leave a tip.

[TheViceOfReason]

So don't be a push over.

I cannot believe that a waiter got that flustered by a table wanting to split a bill that you had to just pay - probably more tables split than pay in one go!

You just say "no, we will just pay for what we had". It's not hard.

[12hrsoff]

It wasn't after work (it was in the late afternoon ).

[hollowtree]

A little to some is alot to others! A tenner can be significant. In future I would put my foot down and say politely but firmly, thanks but our meals came to £xx. We'll pay that plus a tip.

We tend to socialise with others in a similar pay bracket which makes things easier. But even my more affluent friends are considerate when it comes to this sort of thing. I think it is an important thing to discuss

[senzaparole03]

So many oddities in this thread.

[Only1scoop]

'Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57'

Haven't read past this as it's too cringe

[pengymum]

This is such a British thing! On the Continent it’s so simple: you tell the waiter you’re paying separately or together and they take care of it. Everyone knows that they will have to pay for what they order so don’t take the P. Simple. Why all the angst over here? Don’t need any massive discussion, just tell the waiting staff before you order. Doing it after causes them a bit of hassle as people may have ordered bottles/jugs of drinks but if it’s done at the beginning they can sort, at time of ordering, which bill to allocate it to. Nothing miserable about paying for yourself.
If you invite someone out, you pay. If they invite you, they pay. Just be clear at the start. Otherwise you pay your own.

[Oblomov17]

I can’t believe OP is so petty. Over a tenner?
Your bill was £32
Your husband insisted on paying the remainder, after they put in £40 of vouchers,
Why don’t you take it with him? Why did he do that.

Or why didn’t you insist : errrmine only comes to £31.57 .... I’d never go out with you again quite frankly you tightfisted .....

Discuss Before as other posters have said.

Or If there is a major difference I could understand - if 2 people aren’t drinking and the other person is drinking lots of wine and cocktails- fine.

but you asking to split it over a few pounds.

which really should’ve left as a tip anyway.

it’s absolutely ridiculous. I suggest you don’t go out to dinner with anyone again!!