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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 06/11/2017 15:23

Perhaps bluntness because you've never needed to. Lucky you

Huh? I said earlier nearly everyone has had money constraints at some point I suggest you read the thread. Its really not that long.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:23

Sandsunsea I thought that too. They really were cheeky gits!

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:24

But you said you never do the maths bluntness, and I have rtt thanks.

Whataboutmeee · 06/11/2017 15:24

I think your friends should have shared the vouchers so you could have had £20 off per couple.

Shoxfordian · 06/11/2017 15:24

Just seems a reasonable assumption given the rest of her post Cherry

VladmirsPoutine · 06/11/2017 15:24

This all sounds rather petty from all sides. I do think this is a cultural thing though. I'd cringe if anyone wanted to autopsy a receipt.

Bluntness100 · 06/11/2017 15:25

I always find it's the people who order the more expensive items who are very much in favour of splitting the bill equally

I don’t know what kind of hellish friends you’ve got, but I suggest you get some new ones. I know no one who does this.

flissfloss65 · 06/11/2017 15:25

Really tight of them not to have put vouchers in and divided remaining bill in two.

Let's hope it wasn't a buy one get one free voucher and you subsided them!

NameChangeFamousFolk · 06/11/2017 15:26

In the real world meanwhile, most people are fighting to pay the bill for the whole group! Not nitpicking and analysing receipts

My family do this. Depending on whether drink has also been taken, it can get a bit colourful.

There's a bit of glowering resentment towards the 'winner' who gets to pay the final bill; threats that 'it's my turn next time,' and then another scrap breaks out over who gets to leave the tip.

It's always done very quietly and politely mind.

So yeah, I agree that dissecting bills like this is a bit alien to me as well.

Gottagetmoving · 06/11/2017 15:26

I find this bizzare. I genuinely couldn’t tell you whose share of the bill is higher when we go out with friends. I really couldn’t

Well lucky you for being fortunate enough to not have to be aware of what you are able to spend.
Of course, people who are on a tight budget should just not go out for meals with friends if they are not prepared to pay for more than they order or can afford?
Some people live in a fucking bubble...they really do.

PuppyMonkey · 06/11/2017 15:26

lol at this thread. Grin

I think the people slagging OP cos "it's only £10" are missing the point. Yes it's only £10, which is why CF voucher couple should have coughed up and paid it, the bloody tight arses. Grin

Blueberry1 · 06/11/2017 15:26

When money is tight £10 you didn't budget for can be stressful. Anyone saying "pff £10" clearly has never been really hard up. When I working part-time & studying (in London!) I had very little spare money & had to watch everything I spent. Even buying a coffee or lunch (I was the packed lunch & thermos queen!) were spending decisions. I avoided eating out unless with family or close friends who knew my financial situation and wouldn't demand the bill be split.

In such a situation as the OP found herself, I might have said "This is a bit awkward, but we're on a tight budget and ordered accordingly so we can only afford to pay for what we had."

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:27

Not really, it just seems to fit some posters’ whingeing that the OP is a tight git.

Whataboutmeee · 06/11/2017 15:28

I definitely know people who take advantage of splitting the bill. I know one couple who ordered champagne without offering it to anyone else and two guys who would order quadruple barcardis throughout the meal.

DryHeave · 06/11/2017 15:29

Oh dear. Depending on how came about the vouchers, I'd probably have applied them to the bill and then split the remainder 50/50 between the two couples.

senzaparole03 · 06/11/2017 15:30

Honestly, unless there is a ginormous difference, then splitting it is always the way to go. It's swings and roundabouts - sometimes you pay a little more, sometimes a little less. It's usually only a few quid in it.

One time I wish I stood up for myself. Poor student (quite some years ago!) and meeting a friend for lunch. Only it turned out to also be a leaving lunch for one of his colleagues. I had a side salad and a glass of tap water as I could only afford a fiver.
They all had starters and mains, and some alcohol. It was split. I paid 25 quid. Fuming!

I try to be cognisant of non-drinkers, so would often remove alcohol for those of us who drank it, and split the food evenly.

Almost always works!

12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:31

It's about give and take. I met a friend the other night for a "quick" drink. When I arrived she had already ordered a bottle of wine. I actually don't drink white wine (I get headaches from it) and was going to have a cocktail, but she'd poured me a glass, so I wasn't going to make a fuss over one drink or the other. At the end, I said I'd get it. The bottle of wine was £75. I'd only had one glass. It's fine though as I'm sure she'll get my cocktails next time. It all balances out.

senzaparole03 · 06/11/2017 15:33

If i have vouchers, then I would always apply that to the bill and then split (which is what should have happened by the tight people the OP was dining with!).

It's really selfish to apply vouchers to the individual. It's rude and just bad form!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:33

Then count yourself lucky 12 that you can afford a £37.50 glass of wine on a whim. I’d have been well pissed off of a friend did that, and I’m not hard up in the least!

senzaparole03 · 06/11/2017 15:33

The bottle of wine was £75.

What? For a quick drink after work?

That's kind of disgusting.

Kitsharrington · 06/11/2017 15:33

My opinion on this is if you are going to be so anal about splitting the bill, don't eat out with others. It is so off putting when people sit there painstakingly adding up what they ate.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 06/11/2017 15:34

I can't believe your friend sat there and just let you pay for a £75 of wine that you'd had one glass of and no say in.

No one I count among my friends would ever do that to me.

12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:34

I do think the other couple should have applied the vouchers to the whole group though. They are free after all!

LagunaBubbles · 06/11/2017 15:34

The bottle of wine was £75. I'd only had one glass. It's fine though as I'm sure she'll get my cocktails next time. It all balances out

Is this a stealth boast? That you can just shrug off paying nearly £40 for 1 glass of wine?

MickeyLuv · 06/11/2017 15:34

I met a friend the other night for a "quick" drink. When I arrived she had already ordered a bottle of wine. The bottle of wine was £75. I'd only had one glass. It's fine though as I'm sure she'll get my cocktails next time. It all balances out

It would never balance out in my world if my friend was ordering £75 bottles of wine when we were just meeting for a quick drink! We wouldn't be going out together again Grin

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