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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Splitting restaurant bill

974 replies

idontwanttodothisanymore · 06/11/2017 14:37

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

OP posts:
12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:14

In the real world meanwhile, most people are fighting to pay the bill for the whole group! Not nitpicking and analysing receipts.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:14

It sounds like was then watching what everyone else had like a hawk.*

RTFT. She has the receipt.

Think the OP is getting an unnecessary pasting on here.

Lemonnaise · 06/11/2017 15:15

YANBU OP. For the life of me I can't understand the people saying you are. In what world is it ok to order food and expect other people to pay for it...£10 or not. The people on here who think it's ok to do that must be rip-off feckers.

Shoxfordian · 06/11/2017 15:15

Yabu

I thought there would be a huge discrepancy when I opened the thread but you're making a huge fuss over a tenner. Actually not even 10, if the bill was about 80 then you'd have owed 4 towards the tip assuming you left one. Just drinking water as well? Expect it was tap. Should have stayed home.

Bubblebubblepop · 06/11/2017 15:16

I think the issue in restaurants is you're talking about minor decisions causing a huge difference in costs, relatively speaking (and by relatively I mean £5 each being something to be upset about)

What if you have the meat pizza rather than margarita? £3 more. What if you have a bottle of sparking water instead of tap? £2 more. What if someone orders a 250mk glass wine instead of 125? £3 more.

All these variables are far too much for you to control and when you are so tight for cash it's not realistic to expect nothing will happen that will take you over budget

LagunaBubbles · 06/11/2017 15:16

But if I had two children and £10 would make or break the bank, I certainly woudlnt be eating out

Its not about £10 making or breaking the bank though really, its about having the money - enough money - and paying for your own food only. Not subsidizing other people.

Totally agree with you there MsHarry.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:16

In the real world meanwhile, most people are fighting to pay the bill for the whole group! Not nitpicking and analysing receipts.

Never seen that either!

12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:17

Yes I realise she had the receipt, but people like that are always on edge when out for dinner and watching the others like a hawk. All drinks are clocked, etc.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:17

if we eat out and have a bottle of wine and the other couple have soft drinks, we always pay for our wine. i wouldn't dream of asking them to stump up for it

Exactly! My friends make fun of me because I always chirp “have I definitely paid enough?”, I hate the thought of someone subsidising my food and drink. If you’re fine with this, you’re at best a chancer, at worst a dickhead

Lemonnaise · 06/11/2017 15:18

But if I had two children and £10 would make or break the bank, I certainly woudlnt be eating out with another couple I clearly didnt like

At no point has OP said this £10 broke the bank.

LadyinCement · 06/11/2017 15:18

No, I just think surely the OP has better things to do than crouch over her receipt growling about the loss of less than £10 on what was supposed to be a nice night out meeting people.

By the way, OP, that free tap water? You used a glass, I believe. Someone had to put it on the table, fill it, put it in the dishwasher. So not as free as you think. In fact someone's glass of Chablis is probably subsidising your water.

Bluntness100 · 06/11/2017 15:19

Why do people think it's ok for others to subsidise their meal

I find this bizzare. I genuinely couldn’t tell you whose share of the bill is higher when we go out with friends. I really couldn’t. We simoly look at thr total and split it by however many there. Sometimes we may pay more, others times it will be others who pay more I assume. We’ve simply never did the maths.

It’s really not about expecting others to pay for us or them wanting us to pay for them, these are our friends, we have a good night out, and we split the bill equally at the end.

Laceup · 06/11/2017 15:19

Always say up front to the waiter in advance,to do separate bills

DiegoMadonna · 06/11/2017 15:20

It doesn't even have to be about the money - it's about the principle of it. Having said that, I would have spoken to the others about it before ordering, because conversations about it AFTER the meal are always awkward and you can't really insist on anything at that point. Lesson for the future there.

Also lol at a waiter being flustered by giving one table two bills. Next time, just insist on that. It's not difficult and it's his/her job.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:20

Perhaps bluntness because you've never needed to. Lucky you.

Bubblebubblepop · 06/11/2017 15:21

Cherry I think you're being very presumptuous. There is a middle ground between going out with pizza and tap water friends, ordering steak and champagne and insisting they split, and calculating individually and paying seperatly.

We keep things casual- a non drinker gets an estimate of the bill less the wine, as would anyone who had eaten or drank significantly less. That's normal.

GU24Mum · 06/11/2017 15:21

Agree with Bluntness - much better to be up front at the start of the meal and say that you don't want to have to work through the bill at the end so suggest you get separate tabs.

If it's in the same ballpark I don't mind splitting; I'd rather not if there's going to be a huge difference BUT I also don't like going out with my very tight friends who work through the bill, forget some of their things and don't leave a service charge so that I have to sub them even when they've read every line of the bill!

Gottagetmoving · 06/11/2017 15:22

YANBU. The tight arses are the ones who have more and pay less. People do this all the time at the expense of friends then they call the others petty for complaining about subsidising their meal.
Make it clear before you eat you are paying for your own though.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 06/11/2017 15:22

When does the OP say she had tap water?

12hrsoff · 06/11/2017 15:22

Ms Harry - if we were out with another couple (as we were on Fri), we will insist on paying and they will too. Eventually someone will concede to letting the other couple pay on the promise that they will get it next time - which they will!

Bubblebubblepop · 06/11/2017 15:23

I went out last night with 3 friends, one of whom was pregnant. The bill was £320 and 50% of that was booze. Did her split less the booze and everyone else paid 1/3 of what was left. Now preggers friend had at least £15 worth of soft drinks, but who cares? We paid that for her because we're nice and we share Grin

Sandsunsea · 06/11/2017 15:23

If I had vouchers I would use them and then split the remainder between the number of diners. I wouldn't use them for just my meal.

MsHarry · 06/11/2017 15:23

Absolutely Gotta

sinceyouask · 06/11/2017 15:23

I don't know why threads like this are always full of people complaining that not wanting to subsidise other's meals is wrong. It's not tight, or mean, or miserable, to work out what your food and drink cost and pay for that.
I always find it's the people who order the more expensive items who are very much in favour of splitting the bill equally. I once paid £20 for ds2 to have bowl of chips and an apple juice, because apparently doing otherwise was tight and rude and would have ruined the evening. I haven't spent time with those people since and still think they were the tight and rude ones.

Whataboutmeee · 06/11/2017 15:23

I think you have a point. The last time I went out in a big group, the bill was split. It wasn't fair on the non-drinkers but too fiddly to work out more fairly as there were about twenty of us. I ended up subsidizing the alcohol and driving four pissed people home Confused. Never again.