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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask why is it acceptable to say you hate kids?

260 replies

allegretto · 16/10/2017 14:39

Prompted by a certain female comedien saying this (whom I love btw!), it seems that it is the last taboo. By all means say you are not a child-person, you don't want kids etc but HATE them? You wouldn't be able to say that about any other group of people (and kids are people), so why do people say it about children?

OP posts:
cherrycola2004 · 16/10/2017 15:25

I hate kids Wink

MrsMarigold · 16/10/2017 15:25

I think it is odd to hate children, after all their innocence is so endearing, generally they have no prejudices and they are vulnerable. Yes, dislike is one thing, hate is quite another.

brasty · 16/10/2017 15:26

Op are you also going to challenge those who say they love children?

ShatnersWig · 16/10/2017 15:26

Some of them commit murder. The absolute hate for the killers of James Bulger - children killing another child - was palpable and had MN been around then, it would still have been seen in plentiful supply on here.

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 15:27

Mrs

I think it is odd to hate children, after all their innocence is so endearing, generally they have no prejudices and they are vulnerable

I find their innocence and vulnerability stifling and needy.

Cappuccinoloverr · 16/10/2017 15:27

Milk youre right I haven't and I'm basing my assumption on children being sweet and innocent on my toddler who is an absolute angel.

RoseWhiteTips · 16/10/2017 15:29

The word “hate” is used loosely as indeed is the word “love”, very often. As has been said, it is probably sensible not to take things quite so literally...

allegretto · 16/10/2017 15:29

Brasty - I'm not challenging anyone, just discussing! Yes, I agree that "I love kids" is a generalization too but at least it isn't offensive. The whole idea seems a bit bizarre to me - there are lots of aspects of having kids that I hate, but to hate ALL KIDS themselves? It just seems the sort of thing that you would want to keep quiet about!

OP posts:
brasty · 16/10/2017 15:29

There are children who are 14/15 who have been cold blooded murderers.
And plenty of children have racist or sexist beliefs. Not their fault I know.

MinervaSaidThar · 16/10/2017 15:29

Is it the last taboo? I'm sure embittered men/women say 'I hate men/women'.

brasty · 16/10/2017 15:30

I find I love all kids just as bizarre. It is not treating kids as individuals, but as one homogeneous group.

Cappuccinoloverr · 16/10/2017 15:30

Children learn from their environment, from the adults around them. James Bulgars killers obviously didn't have a great start in life for them to go on a kill him.

MrsJayy · 16/10/2017 15:30

I think it should be totally ok for women to say I am not having children it must drive them batty when you hear for the umpteenth time oh it will be your turn

TheFirstMrsDV · 16/10/2017 15:30

I think saying 'I hate kids' can be an attention seeking statement.
Why else say it?
Its always said with pride. Look at me, aren't I ^outrageous?!
Its a bizarre thing to say. You hate billions of people because they are under 18? What, all of them?

Papafran · 16/10/2017 15:31

I don't hate children. I would not however choose to spend all day with random children that I don't know and am not related to.

Is it not equally odd for people to say they 'love children'? Would it not be odd if I said 'I love all French people simply because they are French' or 'I love all old people because they are old'? There are some people who say they are 'obsessed with babies' even if those babies are not related to them or their friends. Isn't that as strange as someone saying they don't like babies? Or is it because disliking children goes against the grain of what society expects of women?

Melondramatic · 16/10/2017 15:32

Age IS a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, so technically yes they ARE protected.

It's stupid to hate children. It's like hating vegetables. They are all so very different, so it's an ignorant point of view

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/10/2017 15:32

Thing is cappuccino, he's an angel to you, to me he'd be annoying and needy and grubby and not very interesting.

ShatnersWig · 16/10/2017 15:32

Other child killers have sometimes had seemingly totally normal home lives Cappuccino, it is not anywhere near as simple as you suggest, just as assuming all children are sweet and innocent and lovely based on your own child who, at present, is an absolute angel. I hope they will always be so

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 15:33

MrsJayy

I think it should be totally ok for women to say I am not having children it must drive them batty when you hear for the umpteenth time oh it will be your turn

It fucking does drive us batty. It should, though, also be okay for women to say "I don't like them" when asked why we're not having children. I mean we shouldn't be fucking asked in the first place as it's no-one's bloody business. However, we are asked by then people expect a nice, socially acceptable answer (e.g. not yet, I'm putting my career first, I want to travel) rather than the truth which is that I can't stand children.

RoseWhiteTips · 16/10/2017 15:34

I don’t like them, particularly.

If the OP yearns for people to like them, then perhaps she should take on the onerous task of teaching UK parents not to make their offspring the centre of their universe - and certainly not to expect random adults to accept the rude interruptions and the whining of most younger children.

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 15:34

Melon

It's stupid to hate children. It's like hating vegetables

C'mon now. Vegetables give much more scintillating conversations that children

allegretto · 16/10/2017 15:34

he'd be annoying and needy and grubby and not very interesting.

Do you know him? If someone said the same thing about you without knowing you, wouldn't you feel a bit peeved?

OP posts:
Papafran · 16/10/2017 15:34

James Bulgars killers obviously didn't have a great start in life for them to go on a kill him

I agree but I have heard loads of people who claim to love kids say that they thought they should have been executed aged 10 or thrown in a jail and the key taken away. At the end of the day, people have to accept that kids are just people, albeit younger and smaller people. Not all of them are good and not all of them are bad. It's illogical to claim to love them all and it's illogical to claim to hate them all. Just as with adults, we love the ones we are close to and/or related to. They also need more protection than adults but you can want to protect children whilst at the same time not wanting to spend all your time with them.

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 15:35

Ihavebrillohair

Thing is cappuccino, he's an angel to you, to me he'd be annoying and needy and grubby and not very interesting

Yes.

ShatnersWig · 16/10/2017 15:36

It's stupid to hate children. It's like hating vegetables. They are all so very different, so it's an ignorant point of view

And, ironically, a lot of children hate vegetables.... Kids. They're so ignorant, aren't they?

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