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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why is it acceptable to say you hate kids?

260 replies

allegretto · 16/10/2017 14:39

Prompted by a certain female comedien saying this (whom I love btw!), it seems that it is the last taboo. By all means say you are not a child-person, you don't want kids etc but HATE them? You wouldn't be able to say that about any other group of people (and kids are people), so why do people say it about children?

OP posts:
Lilmisskittykat · 16/10/2017 14:51

Seriously?

Your upset your friend hates kids so now think that the human race is doomed for this opinion and legislation should be changed to make hate of children a hate crime.

StorminaBcup · 16/10/2017 14:51

you are hating people for something they have done

Children do an awful lot of things that they could be hated for. Mine included Grin

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 14:51

I think women saying "I hate children" is very often read by others (particularly women with children) as a value judgement on having children.

ShatnersWig · 16/10/2017 14:52

Until it is a criminal offence or classed as a hate crime, people are at liberty to say they hate children if they so wish.

I agree in most cases it is a very strong aversion or dislike of, but they can choose the phrase they wish. It's called free speech which we have in this country.

Original poster
allegretto · 16/10/2017 14:53

Your upset your friend hates kids so now think that the human race is doomed for this opinion and legislation should be changed to make hate of children a hate crime.

As I didn't say any of that, maybe you could read what I actually posted. Hmm

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 16/10/2017 14:54

The child haters why do you hate them ? Just out of interest hate seems a very over dramatic and pompus reaction all under 16s

Original poster
allegretto · 16/10/2017 14:55

My AIBU was "why is it acceptable"

I know it is legal - but is that the only reason we DON'T say, I hate ? It seems that most people would be embarrassed to be thought of racist, whether they are or not.

OP posts:
ZaphodBeeblerox · 16/10/2017 14:55

I find children exhausting / I don't like having to look after children etc etc - all seem okay. I hate kids seems extreme.

OP perhaps some of your childless friends are overcompensating because either they can't have kids, or they're tired of being asked about it and an extreme reaction stops conversation?

Hmm at the pedants jumping into legalese.

In my mind saying I hate children is similar to saying "I hate Chinese people". Tarring an entire group with stereotypes. Fwiw I know many many kids who are so much nicer and compassionate and less high maintenance than many adults.

MrsJayy · 16/10/2017 14:56

I have visions of some posters passing a toddler in the street and recoiling in revulsion

Lilmisskittykat · 16/10/2017 14:56

Apologies... I read this in your post...

crops up quite a lot with childless friends of mine that they say that they hate kids. Seems a bit OTT to me.

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 14:57

The child haters why do you hate them ? Just out of interest hate seems a very over dramatic and pompus reaction all under 16s

I can just see absolutely no redeeming features about them whatsoever.

ShatnersWig · 16/10/2017 14:59

MrsJayy There are about a dozen children whom I like. The rest... can't abide them. The noise, the mess, the noise, the misbehaviour, the noise....

Original poster
allegretto · 16/10/2017 15:00

Lilmiss - I wrote *a bit OTT" and from that you understood "upset" "doomed" and wanting legislation for a hate crime. A bit of a reach,
don't you think? Hmm

OP posts:
LongWavyHair · 16/10/2017 15:00

Yeah let's bitch about children on a parenting website Hmm

Nandoshoes · 16/10/2017 15:00

They are to noisey for me. 😫

MrsJayy · 16/10/2017 15:00

That really is a stock answer cliffRichard it is like saying I don't like the look of brocolli

CliffRichardsPenIs · 16/10/2017 15:00

Zaphod But the OP asked why it's acceptable and I do think it's acceptable, in part, because it's legal. I think if it became illegal tomorrow, people wouldn't say it as much.

In my mind saying I hate children is similar to saying "I hate Chinese people". Tarring an entire group with stereotypes. Fwiw I know many many kids who are so much nicer and compassionate and less high maintenance than many adults

Nope because children grow out of being children. People from a certain race don't so don't grow out of their race. So, saying you hate Chinese people is like saying "I will hate this person forever just because they are Chinese". Saying I hate children is saying "I will hate this person until they grow out of all the things that make me hate them at the moment"

ZaphodBeeblerox · 16/10/2017 15:00

But that's odd CliffRichards. All children? They don't even share too many features other than being the same age!
And once they turn 17 suddenly you can see that they all have a spectrum of personalities and traits?

Rather weird opinion.

MammaTJ · 16/10/2017 15:02

I frequently say it, often when I am the youth club that I fought so hard to get for the local children. Or at the park that I also fought for.

They don't believe me though!

brasty · 16/10/2017 15:02

Surely it is just the flip side of saying I love children.
Which I think is a stupid thing to say.

FaFoutis · 16/10/2017 15:02

Old people, all their moaning and slow staggering about. Can't abide them.

JustHereForThePooStories · 16/10/2017 15:02

surely you were one once?

I'm going to be a dead person at some stage too, and I don't love corpses.

stevie69 · 16/10/2017 15:04

I wouldn't say it. Firstly, I can see that it may offend and secondly it wouldn't be true.

What I will say is that I don't find the majority of children particularly stimulating and I much prefer the company of adults (my topics of conversation and sense of humour can veer towards the risque). But hate children? Definitely not.

elfinpre · 16/10/2017 15:05

I don't think it's any more acceptable than saying you can't stand old people, or that all men are bastards. I would be Hmm at anyone who said it. Generalised hatred makes you sound fucking thick.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 16/10/2017 15:05

Yes that's true they "grow out of it" but what is it about being under 16 that makes you hate them so? What changes to make you suddenly not hate them? I don't see too many things in common between a newborn infant and a 15 year old going to soccer practice. Other than they don't have much power. They're as different as any other two people in my life. Some are curious, some are kind, some are boisterous, some are annoying, some are tiresome, some are splendid!

Anyway, hate kids all you want. Fewer kids is better for the planet anyway. Hardly worth wasting our bandwidth over. Bit sad y'all are missing out on interacting with some amazing people and influencing or sharing your story with some impressionable young minds because of some innate prejudice but hardly matters.