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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

179 replies

woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:05

I don't thin IABU to want to do something but I have no idea what.

We share a drive way with a neighbour - basically he has to drive over our drive to get to his. When we block paved the drive we actually paid for his to be done as well in order that it looked aesthetically pleasing otherwise his would have been left as tarmac since he's a tight git who wont spend a penny he doesn't have to.

Anyway, the issue is we've been having quite a lot of work done over the last couple of years since we moved in - getting the house done how we want. This has meant quite a lot of deliveries and workers at the house at various times. Works have included:
converting the garage to a utility room
Landscaping and installing a pond in the garden
new kitchen
new bathrooms (three of them)
New bedrooms

Basically the whole house has been redone. I'm only saying this so that I can acknowledge that we have had a lot of workmen to and from the house. which I know can be annoying but we've tried to be as respectful as possible and haven't had anything done evenings, mornings or weekends.

The diagram shows the drives. When we are both at home, there are two cars on the drive (satellite image must have been when one of us was out) hence I've put the second car on the drive as a block.

We've always said, if there was ever a van or delivery blocking his exit, just to let us know and we'd get it moved so he could get out. Where possible, they park up tight to the fence opposite or where the second car would be but obviously cant if the second car is there or they have a big van.

Last couple of months, EVERY time we have something being delivered or someone working, he storms out of the house and says "I need to get off my drive now, please move".

it is literally EVERY time. I don't believe for one minute he's not doing this on purpose. Not sure if its jealousy as he always comments about "not another project", or "we can't afford that, we're retired" blah blah blah.

When you speak to his face to face he's nice as pie and claims he has no issues yet the next time someone is at the house, he kicks off again. The window cleaner pulled up this morning and 30 seconds after he got out the van, neighbour insists he has to leave RIGHT NOW.

I don't want to fall out, but its getting ridiculous.

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included
OP posts:
LIZS · 05/10/2017 15:08

What do your deeds say? If he has a row across your land for access to his drive it may be expected to be kept clear. Can you not park your 2nd car across so he can get round and take deliveries by the house?

Original poster
woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:12

Yes he does have ROW but its not like we’re pemanently blocking it. Deliveries are ye main problem we have. The other week we had the gubbins of fitted wardrobes being delivered and half way through he demanded they love to let him out NOW. Even if we’d moved the car off, the kitty was still too big not to have blocked him.

We’re 99% certain he’s doing it to make a point

OP posts:
DadDadDad · 05/10/2017 15:13

So, what happens next? He says he needs to get out, you get the visitor to move, then presumably he gets in his car and drives away? If the last step doesn't happen, then surely that's ammunition for next time...

FittonTower · 05/10/2017 15:14

He does sound like a bit of a prick but either you're always blocking his access which is pretty unreasonable or this isn't a regular thing and it would be easier to just shrug it off than let it get to you?

TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 15:14

I can see how it's been a couple of years of near daily vans and things parked there and having to constantly ask to move it could have just got on top of him somewhat. It would probably start to annoy me after a couple of years if nearly every time I wanted to go out I had to get someone to move.

If he has a right of essement across that part you are not supposed to block it regardless.

LIZS · 05/10/2017 15:14

May be but if you have had ongoing work what stared as an occasional inconvenience may now be a pita. He probably has a legal right of free access and you are obstructing it.

TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 15:15

*if it's been

Original poster
woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:16

On several occasions he’s Driven away only to return within five minutes. Which compounds the feeling he’s just doing it deliberately.

OP posts:
TieGrr · 05/10/2017 15:16

I think it's your responsibility to clear a space for deliveries without blocking his access in or out of his own house. If that means moving your own cars away when there's a delivery, so be it.

Original poster
woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:17

It’s not daily for two years but for example, when the kitchen was being done it was daily for a few weeks.

Then there might be a break of a month or two before the next project which would last a few weeks.

OP posts:
TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 15:20

I'm going to have to go with YABU then I'm afraid. I probably would have started losing some patience by now too.

TieGrr · 05/10/2017 15:21

I can imagine that if someone posted to say their neighbours were often blocking their drive, the advice here would be to do exactly what that man is doing. Go out every time, demand they move and hope that the point is eventually made.

TheEmmaDilemma · 05/10/2017 15:21

Agree you should be parking elsewhere and leaving the essement free and use your spaces for vans, other than short deliveries. Though I'm not sure most of them would bother to pull onto your drive.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 05/10/2017 15:21

Of course he is doing it deliberately. He is trying to make a point and make it more hassle for you to have vans there so you stop doing it. Legally he has a right to have access to the road and you can't block it but unless this is actually happening all the time at times when he actually does need out then he could be a bit more neighbourly and accept that sometimes sharing spaces involves a bit of inconvenience:

lurkingnotlurking · 05/10/2017 15:22

Are you sure he has a legal right to use your driveway? If so then I'll go with yabu. But are you absolutely sure?

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 05/10/2017 15:26

Actually looking at that aerial shot it looks like there is sufficient room for lorries/vans to park tight up against the fence opposite your house and leave him space to get out. I think you need to be directing the delivery drivers when they arrive to park against the fence from now on. Be fair to him.

PostNotInHaste · 05/10/2017 15:27

We used to have a shared drive though were down the bottom so slightly different. But we always have made sure we moved our cars round the corner sp our spaces were free for delivery vehicles so as to keep access clear . Really you need to do this.

Original poster
woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:27

Since there is no way off his land other ban over our drive, I assume he does.

I think this started when we insisted we were getting our drive block paved. They were both previously tarmacced. He kicked off about it being done, so we arranged to have it done today he and his wife were away on holiday let he be prevented from accessing his drive.

We even paid to do his part so that it didn’t look odd having his bit tarmacced and blocked. He reluctantly agreed when we said we’d do this for him.

We are about to get it sealed and would have done his bit as well but because he’s being so annoying, We’ll seal our part only.

OP posts:
Original poster
woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:29

This entrance is narrow so actually anything larger than a transit will stop anyone getting off the drive even if it’s parked against the fence. one time there definitely was enough space by he still insisted he needed more space to get his car through.

OP posts:
MagdalenLaundry · 05/10/2017 15:30

I think yabu
He may be annoying but he is within his rights to have access

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 05/10/2017 15:30

If there is space and he says he still needs more, offer to drive his car out for him. He'll soon find a way out rather than be shown up Grin

takesnoprisoners · 05/10/2017 15:31

Move your car against the fence and park the delivery vehicle in your spot. That way you wont block the drive.

MissTMornings · 05/10/2017 15:31

I can't imagine not moving my own cars in your situation so as not to inconvenience someone who has every right to access their own property at any time Confused

So I'm sorry but yabu and rather entitled.

BellyBean · 05/10/2017 15:33

If your cars are parked elsewhere is there room for a van? If yes, I'd keep the drive clear for deliveries.

430West · 05/10/2017 15:34

YABU - if you were expecting deliveries, you should have parked your cars elsewhere so your workers could use your 2 spaces and leave the access clear.