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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

179 replies

woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:05

I don't thin IABU to want to do something but I have no idea what.

We share a drive way with a neighbour - basically he has to drive over our drive to get to his. When we block paved the drive we actually paid for his to be done as well in order that it looked aesthetically pleasing otherwise his would have been left as tarmac since he's a tight git who wont spend a penny he doesn't have to.

Anyway, the issue is we've been having quite a lot of work done over the last couple of years since we moved in - getting the house done how we want. This has meant quite a lot of deliveries and workers at the house at various times. Works have included:
converting the garage to a utility room
Landscaping and installing a pond in the garden
new kitchen
new bathrooms (three of them)
New bedrooms

Basically the whole house has been redone. I'm only saying this so that I can acknowledge that we have had a lot of workmen to and from the house. which I know can be annoying but we've tried to be as respectful as possible and haven't had anything done evenings, mornings or weekends.

The diagram shows the drives. When we are both at home, there are two cars on the drive (satellite image must have been when one of us was out) hence I've put the second car on the drive as a block.

We've always said, if there was ever a van or delivery blocking his exit, just to let us know and we'd get it moved so he could get out. Where possible, they park up tight to the fence opposite or where the second car would be but obviously cant if the second car is there or they have a big van.

Last couple of months, EVERY time we have something being delivered or someone working, he storms out of the house and says "I need to get off my drive now, please move".

it is literally EVERY time. I don't believe for one minute he's not doing this on purpose. Not sure if its jealousy as he always comments about "not another project", or "we can't afford that, we're retired" blah blah blah.

When you speak to his face to face he's nice as pie and claims he has no issues yet the next time someone is at the house, he kicks off again. The window cleaner pulled up this morning and 30 seconds after he got out the van, neighbour insists he has to leave RIGHT NOW.

I don't want to fall out, but its getting ridiculous.

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included
OP posts:
ItsNachoCheese · 05/10/2017 15:59

Bravo on such a consice and clear diagram Star

crimsonlake · 05/10/2017 16:00

Yabu, if it was a very occasional thing people could put up with it. This has been a fairly regular occurrence going on some time. My neighbours had work done on their home which took the best part of a year if they had blocked my drive once I would have been furious.Imagine how inconvenient it is to have to ask someone to move when you want to leave your own house? I think the neighbours have been very tolerant and not at all surprised that they have had enough, sounds like you have taken over.Try seeing it from their point of view and in future put yourself out and move your own car when expecting workmen or deliveries.

AJPTaylor · 05/10/2017 16:00

he is retired. he has nothing to do all day but fume at something.
there is chuff all you can do.

billabye · 05/10/2017 16:02

Yabu I'm afraid. I'd be pissed off too.

Sparklingbrook · 05/10/2017 16:02

he is retired. he has nothing to do all day but fume at something

I am not sure that's what retirement actually is TBH.

Memyselfandiiiiii · 05/10/2017 16:04

I have a similar drive situation but I am at the end of the shared drive ie. In your neighbours house. It's so annoying when you can't just drive in or out of your driveway as you please so YABU

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 05/10/2017 16:05

We "are" your neighbours.
However our neighbours park elsewhere when workmen need space and leave their parking area free for visitors and deliveries

TieGrr · 05/10/2017 16:07

I think the main problem is that you think of that red rectangle as the 'delivery area'.

ahatlikeprincessmarina · 05/10/2017 16:08

Move your own cars if you're expecting a delivery. Why wouldn't you?

Gazelda · 05/10/2017 16:08

It sounds as though you think you are doing him a favour by saying that he can knock when he needs one of your workmen to move their van. You are allowing his ROW to be blocked. And behaving as though you think this is OK.
And you pushed him into having his driveway block paved. How would you like it if he painted his fence and yours a lovely dark oak shade, because he thinks it looks better?
I bet that from his point of view you are ‘acting as though you own the whole bloody place’

UnicornSparkles1 · 05/10/2017 16:10

YABU. Stop using his access route as an unloading bay.

Subtlecheese · 05/10/2017 16:11

He wants you to plan ahead and move a car so that the people coming to your house are not blocking him in/ out. Simple really.

howdoyoudecide · 05/10/2017 16:12

I'm with you op. The rest of the people on this thread are not very neighbourly! You clearly aren't going to move your car for Tesco delivery van or a van dropping off a parcel. When we had a new sofa delivered, the massive van blocked the entire road while they were here. Nothing we could do about it but equally it doesn't bother me when other people have large deliveries that block the road as it is just part and parcel of life.

Ignore him he is being petty.

Yanbu

PoundsShillingsPence · 05/10/2017 16:13

YAB VERY Unreasonable!!!

Keep his ROW clear, I wouls have lost my rag with you much sooner than this! You should seal his block driveway too seeing as it was your idea, why should he be out of pocket?

ArbitraryName · 05/10/2017 16:15

There's a difference between having a sofa delivered and having van(s) parked there all day long for weeks though.

Garlicansapphire · 05/10/2017 16:15

I'd be pissed off too I'm afraid, if every time I wanted to just get in my car and go out I had to go and ring on next doors doorbell and ask them to move the van. I think its up to you to enable his free right of way.

RainbowPastel · 05/10/2017 16:16

howdoyoudecide The OP admits this is sometimes for weeks at a time. Imagine if you were the neighbour. Having to ask every time you want to go in or out. It's bloody selfish.

hmcAsWas · 05/10/2017 16:18

I have direct experience of a shared driveway access - in my last house. All went smoothly for ten years (old couple next door), then new family moved in. Lots of work done like you...also lots of visitors. The first couple of times they blocked the driveway so I couldn't get out without knocking on their door to ask them to move I was fine with it...but my patience wore thin because it was all the bloody time. Sometimes you just want to get in your car and drive off without fannying around and having to locate someone (neighbour / workman / their visitor) to ask them to move.

It totally fucked me off in the end - and I stopped trying to hide it and was openly pissed off with them. I'm with your neighbour

Jux · 05/10/2017 16:19

YABU. Sorry. It's been going on for far too long now.

You need to do what BreakfastatSquiffany's neighbours do.

Ontheboardwalk · 05/10/2017 16:19

YABU I'm afraid.

When I had my kitchen done I moved my car off my drive every morning and parked it at the quiet end of the street so the fitters could park there. I could have left my car there and they could have parked on the road but I live at the narrow end of the street so would have caused inconvenience for people turning round etc.

2 year of work and vans must be hell for your neighbours, show some consideration

LIZS · 05/10/2017 16:20

I suspect neighbour would overlook the odd short delivery were it not for the regular lengthy blocking by workmen vans.

Ontheboardwalk · 05/10/2017 16:21

Agree with TieGrr you shouldn't refer to it as a delivery area if it's a true ROW

HotelEuphoria · 05/10/2017 16:23

We have a similar set up, I ALWAYS move my car onto the road when deliveries or workmen are here so it doesn't impact next door.

Why wouldn't you?

Fantasticmissfoxy · 05/10/2017 16:24

I'm afraid you are being unreasonable - he has a right of access over that area which you have no right to block (no matter how temporarily) and if you have had workmen doing it non stop for years I'm not surprised he's getting pissed off. It doesn't now matter if he is being a bit of a prick about it, he's probably just fed up!

DressedCrab · 05/10/2017 16:28

YABU. You shouldn't be blocking his ROW at all.