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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

179 replies

woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:05

I don't thin IABU to want to do something but I have no idea what.

We share a drive way with a neighbour - basically he has to drive over our drive to get to his. When we block paved the drive we actually paid for his to be done as well in order that it looked aesthetically pleasing otherwise his would have been left as tarmac since he's a tight git who wont spend a penny he doesn't have to.

Anyway, the issue is we've been having quite a lot of work done over the last couple of years since we moved in - getting the house done how we want. This has meant quite a lot of deliveries and workers at the house at various times. Works have included:
converting the garage to a utility room
Landscaping and installing a pond in the garden
new kitchen
new bathrooms (three of them)
New bedrooms

Basically the whole house has been redone. I'm only saying this so that I can acknowledge that we have had a lot of workmen to and from the house. which I know can be annoying but we've tried to be as respectful as possible and haven't had anything done evenings, mornings or weekends.

The diagram shows the drives. When we are both at home, there are two cars on the drive (satellite image must have been when one of us was out) hence I've put the second car on the drive as a block.

We've always said, if there was ever a van or delivery blocking his exit, just to let us know and we'd get it moved so he could get out. Where possible, they park up tight to the fence opposite or where the second car would be but obviously cant if the second car is there or they have a big van.

Last couple of months, EVERY time we have something being delivered or someone working, he storms out of the house and says "I need to get off my drive now, please move".

it is literally EVERY time. I don't believe for one minute he's not doing this on purpose. Not sure if its jealousy as he always comments about "not another project", or "we can't afford that, we're retired" blah blah blah.

When you speak to his face to face he's nice as pie and claims he has no issues yet the next time someone is at the house, he kicks off again. The window cleaner pulled up this morning and 30 seconds after he got out the van, neighbour insists he has to leave RIGHT NOW.

I don't want to fall out, but its getting ridiculous.

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

OP posts:

SusanTheGentle · 05/10/2017 18:30

Now that you're nearly at the end and have seen that it is very wearing, what about brokering a detente with him? Pop round with a bottle, flowers, and an end date for this bit of work and a plan for future, much less frequent deliveries?

MinorRSole · 05/10/2017 18:34

Op are you going to seal his drive too then? Glad you've seen yabu about the rest but hope you also see that you should do what you agreed to wrt the drive.

From your update I'm still not convinced it's what he wanted but more the least shit option you presented him with.

Mumsnut · 05/10/2017 18:34

Offerto swop him the parking space closest to the entrance so he can always get out.

Nanny0gg · 05/10/2017 18:38

You agreed to do his drive because you wanted yours done and for it all to look nice. You have subjected him to two years of disruption, so you should absolutely finish the job properly and seal his drive too

LavenderDoll · 05/10/2017 18:42

YABVVVU stop blocking his access

EllaHen · 05/10/2017 18:59

YABU

I think he is being rather restrained.

Good to get an insight into the mind of a CF though.

caoraich · 05/10/2017 19:03

This is why these kind of properties are a nightmare!

I suspect that people in general get loads more deliveries these days than they did even 10 years ago- supermarkets, Amazon, eBay etc. My neighbours have commented on the "crazy" amount of deliveries we get. They're just being nosy, though- vans park over our private drive!

Do you know what happens when you get a delivery and are out? Where does the post van park?

I presume that if he has a delivery, a van will also block one of your cars (where the one in the picture is)?

In your position I think I'd make sure I left my own bit of drive clear and parked on the road when I was having planned work, but realistically there is nothing you can do about post vans etc. When I lived on a narrow one-way street it was just life that every so often you would be caught behind a delivery van! I also wouldn't have done his drive, and just put up a fence on the non-shared bit.

Luckymummy22 · 05/10/2017 19:14

We have a similar situation but a great neighbour. We own a big space at front but actually can only park 2 cars on our driveway as we have to give 24 hours access to our neighbour.
We do try and park one car off drive when we have workmen. Although we've had a skip recently which has been a pain (thankfully gone). Our neighbour lets us park on his drive when needed.
We've really lucked out though as I can imagine at times that shared driveways are a nightmare

Louiselouie0890 · 05/10/2017 19:16

Yabu. A few times I wouldn't mind asking for after a while it would get highly annoying. Is there not somewhere else deliveries can park and tell them as soon as they knock on?

BitOfANameChange · 05/10/2017 19:19

This is why I'm never going to buy a house with a shared drive.

Incidentally, as the drive is shared, what do the deeds say about upkeep? Could it be that actually you have to both agree?

inabizzlefam · 05/10/2017 19:27

YABVU. I live opposite a shop and have lost count of the number of times I have had to sit in my car on my dropped kerb driveway, blocked in, waiting fir the driver to finish yakking to the staff. Pisses me off royally as they never have the decency to even look apologetic when they finally emerge from the shop. And there is a whole stretch of road further up to park but they obviously can’t be arsed to walk an extra 10 seconds.
Just stop blocking his ROW, just so rude.

BelleandBeast · 05/10/2017 19:30

YABU.

It must be a right royal pain having to ask people to move so he access his own house.

He's retired, so is putting up with the nose and disruption all day every day, when the work is happening.

To be honest, sounds horrendous living next door to you. What have you done to ease the pain? Do you go round and advise him when work will begin/end? Bottle of wine and beers or whatever his fancy is? Do you apologise when it is really bad noise? Do you apologise when work goes over timescale?

In short, are you a good neighbour? I suspect not and he is at the end of his tether and doesn't give a shit how he expresses it now.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 05/10/2017 19:31

Poor man.

Seal the driveway and be more neighbourly in future.

stardust18 · 05/10/2017 20:01

It would bother me asking the vans to be moved all the time but it would also bother me not been able to get out when I wanted. I do think he's been a little petty going out for 5 minutes. I think you've done a nice thing by getting his Drive done.
Once your house is finished it will all blow over and you won't really have to talk to him other than a polite hello.
Enjoy your new home. It sounds wonderful

ihatetosay · 05/10/2017 20:26

YABU he should always be able to drive on and off his driveway without having to ask you to shift - even if you paid for his drive to be relaid that was up to you. so keep it clear

MrsPawsitive · 06/10/2017 00:49

Have delurked to ask a question: Op, I think you indicated you used to have a garage you converted for other use? I'm guessing that the garage provided a place for parking your vehicles, which theoretically then could leave the driveway free and clear.

Without the use of a garage you have to park on your drive, thereby blocking your neighbor's right of way. Could you consider restoring the garage back to its original use so you have somewhere to park your vehicles other than the driveway?

DarthMaiden · 06/10/2017 02:14

@MrsPawsitive

I asked the garage question a while ago....

keepcalmandfuckon · 06/10/2017 03:54

liminality · 06/10/2017 03:54

I just popped in the car and drove to the shops and was back in 5 minutes. I certainly wasn't making a point. If I had to ask someone to move just when I want to go grab some milk I would get get pretty sick of it fast.
YABU

emmyrose2000 · 06/10/2017 04:55

Of course you are massively unreasonable!

It's mind boggling that you feel/felt entitled to dictate what sort of drive he had outside his own house, and as for offering the option of putting up a fence - that just takes the cake. Why should he have to open and close a gate each time he wants to exit his property just to appease you?!

We've always said, if there was ever a van or delivery blocking his exit, just to let us know and we'd get it moved so he could get out

No. Just no. He is legally entitled to hop in his car and just drive out whenever he pleases. He should not have to add the hassle of checking that the driveway is clear and then coming to your door to get it cleared, waiting around etc. Park YOUR cars on the street and leave the driveway free. "Delivery area"? Are you serious?

Original poster

woolythoughts · 06/10/2017 10:07

Neither of our cars fit into the garage when it was a garage! Relatively new build garage so small and we have an A8 long wheel base and an E class so not small cars. We never have small cars so the garage was pointless

OP posts:

CarlHickbread · 06/10/2017 10:37

What about parking down the road when you know work vans/delivery vehicles will need access?

AfterSchoolWorry · 06/10/2017 10:44

Thanks for the update about the size of your cars.

Kardashianlove · 06/10/2017 11:36

This is the last piece of work though.

Please be considerate and make sure that it doesn't involve blocking access to next door. Either move your cars or make sure work vans,etc park on the road.

MinorRSole · 06/10/2017 11:41

Thanks for the update about the size of your cars.

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