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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

179 replies

woolythoughts · 05/10/2017 15:05

I don't thin IABU to want to do something but I have no idea what.

We share a drive way with a neighbour - basically he has to drive over our drive to get to his. When we block paved the drive we actually paid for his to be done as well in order that it looked aesthetically pleasing otherwise his would have been left as tarmac since he's a tight git who wont spend a penny he doesn't have to.

Anyway, the issue is we've been having quite a lot of work done over the last couple of years since we moved in - getting the house done how we want. This has meant quite a lot of deliveries and workers at the house at various times. Works have included:
converting the garage to a utility room
Landscaping and installing a pond in the garden
new kitchen
new bathrooms (three of them)
New bedrooms

Basically the whole house has been redone. I'm only saying this so that I can acknowledge that we have had a lot of workmen to and from the house. which I know can be annoying but we've tried to be as respectful as possible and haven't had anything done evenings, mornings or weekends.

The diagram shows the drives. When we are both at home, there are two cars on the drive (satellite image must have been when one of us was out) hence I've put the second car on the drive as a block.

We've always said, if there was ever a van or delivery blocking his exit, just to let us know and we'd get it moved so he could get out. Where possible, they park up tight to the fence opposite or where the second car would be but obviously cant if the second car is there or they have a big van.

Last couple of months, EVERY time we have something being delivered or someone working, he storms out of the house and says "I need to get off my drive now, please move".

it is literally EVERY time. I don't believe for one minute he's not doing this on purpose. Not sure if its jealousy as he always comments about "not another project", or "we can't afford that, we're retired" blah blah blah.

When you speak to his face to face he's nice as pie and claims he has no issues yet the next time someone is at the house, he kicks off again. The window cleaner pulled up this morning and 30 seconds after he got out the van, neighbour insists he has to leave RIGHT NOW.

I don't want to fall out, but its getting ridiculous.

Driveway wars - picture/diagram included

OP posts:

SingingMySong · 05/10/2017 16:32

You need to stop parking over the access bit. He has a right to access over it, not a right to knock on your door and hope someone answers straight away, and can find their keys, and can immediately leave what they are doing to move their vehicle, and hasn't had a drink yada yada.

He is inconveniencing himself far more than you by "needing" to go out as soon as his access is blocked. But he thinks it's worth it to preserve that right, and I think he's right TBH.

Kardashianlove · 05/10/2017 16:35

You shouldn't block his access at all. Maybe as a complete one off but you are doing this in a regular basis.

It sounds like he's asking to move every time to make a point. Take the hint and stop blocking his right of way.

SlothMama · 05/10/2017 16:35

If my neighbour was blocking access to my drive frequently I'd be pretty pissed off. I wouldn't want to have to ask to get access to the road, why can't the vans park where your cars go and you park elsewhere?

DO3271 · 05/10/2017 16:35

YABU. The guy has has had 2 years of this. 2 years of a stream of work vehicles, your visitors and the noise of all the work you have had done. I bet their stomachs sink again when yet more vans turn up after a break. You might think you are doing him a favour with a breezy 'just ask'. But heres the thing, he shouldn't have to!! Why should he have to come home and ask you to move obviously having to wait. You are constantly having to make him wait. What about all the times he had plans and never said anything, just stood in his home waited. Maybe he doesn't want a view of work vehicles outside his window. Maybe he wants peace and quiet to enjoy his home.

Oh, and its not a delivery area (so entitled) its an access drive is it not?? Just wow.

TwoBlueFish · 05/10/2017 16:37

YABU it’s bloody annoying having to go and knock on someone’s door and ask them to move every time you want to leave.

You need to leave the access clear so either move both of your cars or ask deliveries to park on the road.

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/10/2017 16:41

Yabu

I'd have gone nuts long ago. The cheek of you thinking he should have to go through you every time he wants to come and go!!!

This is going on a few years?

So you've been hogging the drive which is for access, not two years worth of deliveries and building work. That's outrageous.

As for him being 'tight' and 'jealous'....? I believe you said he's retired? He's probably not rolling in it, no. So what. Jealous? Doubtful, probably just at the end of his tether with your selfishness.

RB68 · 05/10/2017 16:43

We have similar issues with deliveries over our lane which has a ROW for our neighbour. She has upwards of 30 journeys a day down out lane a combo of herself, hubby, his parents, her Mum, plus deliveries EVERY SINGLE DAY.

My issue is none of the fuckers can drive, there is no turning if her driveway is full so they use our lawn, the hedgeway gate over the way and drive all over our property rather than the straight a to b that is the right of way - pisses me off enormously. The last straw was the other week when her bathroom was been renewed and chap turns up with his buddy. Buddy is doing the work and he liturally sets up office in our part of the lane, on the phone from 9.30 to close of play ranting at people right outside out window. ...oh and on queue another one just went past...she couldn't understand why I was upset. This guy picked a stick up and was beating our hedge with it. Oh and another person visiting her just went past...so you can see just in the space of one email - 2 visitors. Drives me potty, the straight in and out I can handle. The fuckwits that can't reverse straight I have less patience with.

RB68 · 05/10/2017 16:43

SusanTheGentle · 05/10/2017 16:43

You're causing the problem here, not him. It's absolutely infuriating having to get someone to move when you just want to pop to the shop or similar. Stop blocking his access.

You seem to be treating your drive like it's only there for your convenience and it isn't - he had a legal right to free access over it and you're infringing on that.

Everyone is neighbourly and doesn't mind the odd bit of stuff being done and the off occasion of drive blocking, but you've been taking the piss.

aintnothinbutagstring · 05/10/2017 16:45

YABU, I'd find it very annoying. I have to go out several times a day, couldn't be doing with knocking on neighbours doors to ask them to move, what a faff.

aintnothinbutagstring · 05/10/2017 16:48

Can't you move your second car somewhere else so as not to block access, that would be the neighbourly thing to do.

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 05/10/2017 16:49

You are being VERY unreasonable!

We have shared access to our drive with our neighbour and mainly, it's all ok, as we are both respectful of each other's need to enter and leave our drives as we please.

We did have a short spell where we were being blocked regularly (still less than you appear to be!) which culminated in my DH not being able to get his car out at 6.30am on a Sunday morning to get to work. Thankfully neighbours were apologetic as it was a visitor of theirs but it did get a little tense for a short while!

I get the feeling from your posts that you think of it as your land and you are doing him a favour by letting him use it to access his house - maybe you should start thinking of it as a shared space and how you would feel if he constantly parked there and blocked you in or out and you had to faff about knocking on his door just to access your own property??

I would imagine that yes - he is doing it on purpose now as he is fed up and hoping that eventually you will get the message and just stop blocking his access.

BanjoStarz · 05/10/2017 16:49

I don't know if it's already been covered but just how sure are you that the "delivery area" belongs to you?

Depending on the age of the houses and given the step up it's far more likely that the "delivery area" is 50:50 shared with each of you owning the area up to the dividing fence line singly rather than him just having ROW

And, your not doing him a favour moving the obstructing vehicle, he has a legal right to access...you shouldn't block it ever.

AfterSchoolWorry · 05/10/2017 16:50

We’re 99% certain he’s doing it to make a point

Yes, he is.

You need to take his point.

BanjoStarz · 05/10/2017 16:50

*set up, not step up!

FrancisCrawford · 05/10/2017 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 05/10/2017 16:52

If this has been ongoing for 2 years but only in the last couple of months has he started this, then I think he has been more than patient.

And it is not just the fact his aces (which is not a delivery area btw) is constantly being blocked in or out, it is the noise and disruption from the work he has had to put up with. I am honestly surprised he lasted this long before losing patience.

itssunnybehindtheclouds · 05/10/2017 16:54

Another vote for moving one or both your cars elsewhere so that deliveries are parked entirely on your drive and he has free access. I appreciate he is being a bit of a pain but I think he's trying to make a point since you do have a drive that could be used and wouldn't inconvenience him.

bumpertobumper · 05/10/2017 16:56

This thread is a first for me! A parking one where the OP is BU.
Is she coming back I wonder...

Easyonthetonic · 05/10/2017 16:56

He doesn't have to drive over your driveway to get to his, the section he uses is shared.

You are being unreasonable to call him a tight git for not wanting to pay to block pave the shared area and then not sealing what you consider his half.

category12 · 05/10/2017 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

category12 · 05/10/2017 16:57

This instead.

Schroedingerscatagain · 05/10/2017 16:58

Instead of asking this question here, go and post it in the legal section I dare you!

There you will be told that you’re lucky not to have had legal action taken against you by now

You cannot park and block a right of way end of, the fact you’ve done it Day in day out is a mighty great piss take

Check with your solicitor who will confirm this and stop being a selfish entitled neighbour

LakieLady · 05/10/2017 17:03

YABVU and if you were my NDN I'd be bloody livid.

No-one minds an occasional incident like this, but from what you have said this is far from occasional.

Do the decent, neighbourly thing and move your bloody car!

hmcAsWas · 05/10/2017 17:04

Is OP now frightened and hiding?

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