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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend wants money for bed

189 replies

TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:32

Hi.
Last year a friend was going through some hard times and she had to downsize. She rented from me (below market rates) and I was happy to help her until she got on her feet which she did.

When she left I helped her to dismantle furniture/clean/sort etc. She had a spare bed that wasn't needed and told me I could have it -she also said it was the least she could do/had nowhere to store it etc etc.

We stored it Ina garage and we're planning to put DS in it but we've since decided to get a double bed with storage

I posted the bed locally on some selling sites and my friend has seen it (I haven't heard from her in weeks) and posted

" I noticed you selling my bed and the interest innit online. I hope you'll be fair and give me the proceeds of the sale."

Am I wrong in thinking when you are given something and no longer need it you give it away or sell to move on? The bed was gifted to me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MegMortimer · 20/09/2017 19:34

Tell her to come and get her bed back. Sever any further contact with her.

Penfold007 · 20/09/2017 19:35

I'd just reply along the lines of 'you are welcome to collect it within seven days or I will be disposing of the bed'

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:35

That's what DH said
He's livid
He's also said to tell her we'll have storage fees (that was a joke thoughBlush)

OP posts:
DesignedForLife · 20/09/2017 19:36

As a rule I never sell on something that's been gifted to me like that (i.e. Wasn't Birthday present). I think if someone has been generous to you you should pay it forward and bless someone else. It's cheeky to make money off the back of her generosity.

CheersTearsFears · 20/09/2017 19:36

I'd ignore purely for her use of 'innit'

Jammydodger81 · 20/09/2017 19:38

That's pretty mean of her considering she would have had to pay to store it if she kept it and you helped her out when she needed it so the bed was a small thank you. I'd remind her of that fact and not give her the money

Ambonsai · 20/09/2017 19:38

I'd give her the money

PerfectPenquins · 20/09/2017 19:40

Wow remind her she had cheap rent and lots of help when she needed it so she gifted you the bed what a greedy cow

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:41

"On it" not innit sorry my mistake

OP posts:
MrsMHasIt · 20/09/2017 19:42

I would be very hurt by that. But equally I don't think I would Facebook sell something I received as goodwill.

The devil in me says to change the listing to "free to a good home" and give her every penny of the proceeds from the sale. But the angel would probably just chalk it up to experience and give her the money she probably weds more than you.

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:42

Someone has agreed to buy it she hasn't responded to the "come and collect it"

OP posts:
MrsMHasIt · 20/09/2017 19:43

Sorry you didn't say Facebook sell, just assumed that is how she would have seen it. Blush

Ttbb · 20/09/2017 19:44

Just tell her that she is welcome to have it back if she wants it but otherwise you will get rid of it.

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:44

MrsM-she doesn't need the money-she's not hard up
She sold a massive house that wasn't shifting -stayed with me whilst she was hard up

Now she's holidaying in the Caribbean and cannot remember me anymore Grin

OP posts:
EamonnWright · 20/09/2017 19:45

Some people just have absolutely no shame.

Imagine the thought process she went through to think sending that message was a good idea after what you done for her Confused

MrsMHasIt · 20/09/2017 19:45

Then be a devil... Wink

converseandjeans · 20/09/2017 19:46

I can see both sides. I personally never sell on things that have been gifted. Prefer to pass on and do another good deed etc..
However I can see that you helped her out. In this instance I would have told her we no longer needed it & ask her to collect.
I am not sure how much interest you will get mind - round here people can't give away sofas or beds. Recycling centres don't want them & ours charges to dispose of them.

NoKidsTwoCats · 20/09/2017 19:46

Usually if I'm given something and I'm selling it not too long after, I give the person who gifted it first refusal and, if they don't want it, check they're happy for me to sell it. I'd imagine at this point any payment expectations would come out.

She is being a bit cheeky as most people wouldn't ask for the cash - I guess I can understand if she's hard up though?

ALittleMop · 20/09/2017 19:47

I can see both sides

She thought she was doing you a favour and giving you something you needed. It could well be seen as you taking something from her because you felt it had monetary value.

I also expect she's still a bit skint and desperate.

I would offer to split it 50/50.

In those circumstances I would find it hard to sell it and keep the money tbh.

CarlHickbread · 20/09/2017 19:47

I wouldn't sell anything on that was gifted to me, like I PP I would pay it forward

NoKidsTwoCats · 20/09/2017 19:48

When I say 'first refusal' at having it back, I mean for free btw - I don't try to sell it back! Grin

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 20/09/2017 19:48

50/50

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/09/2017 19:50

Tell her you were planning on giving the proceeds to a local charity so unfortunately you won't be able to cede to her request. Cheeky cow.

Gemini69 · 20/09/2017 19:50

Snidey Cow ...tell her to collect it ASAP Flowers

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:51

Converse I do get what you are saying-nobody I know needed a bed- I didn't want to take it to the tip, I've stored it for 9 months- maybe it was foolish but I wouldn't think twice if someone I knew sold something on that I'd gifted them Confused

OP posts: