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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend wants money for bed

189 replies

TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:32

Hi.
Last year a friend was going through some hard times and she had to downsize. She rented from me (below market rates) and I was happy to help her until she got on her feet which she did.

When she left I helped her to dismantle furniture/clean/sort etc. She had a spare bed that wasn't needed and told me I could have it -she also said it was the least she could do/had nowhere to store it etc etc.

We stored it Ina garage and we're planning to put DS in it but we've since decided to get a double bed with storage

I posted the bed locally on some selling sites and my friend has seen it (I haven't heard from her in weeks) and posted

" I noticed you selling my bed and the interest innit online. I hope you'll be fair and give me the proceeds of the sale."

Am I wrong in thinking when you are given something and no longer need it you give it away or sell to move on? The bed was gifted to me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 21/09/2017 01:17

It wasn't "gifted" the friend needed rid, didnt have space for it. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement not a gift, and certainly not a generous one given the context! O P sell it and keep the money

TinselTwins · 21/09/2017 01:22

Some posters on here shouldn't give gifts BTW. They don't understand the concept. Only give things away that you are willing to fully part with, if you still wish to be consulted on how the item is used in future, then you're not really giving it away and you should explain from the off that it's just a loan not a gift.

JenNtonic · 21/09/2017 01:41

Wooooah!
Low rent ? Storage? She said she didn't need it? She said it was the least she could do?
Hello ! SELL IT THEN SPEND IT !
Craaaazy x

Italiangreyhound · 21/09/2017 02:22

I agree with Penfold007 back on page one "I'd just reply along the lines of 'you are welcome to collect it within seven days or I will be disposing of the bed'"

I'd personally also add something like, "You gave me the bed so it is mine to dispose of. I find your message very rude after your time staying with me for low rent but anyway, come and get your bed in the next 7 days."

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/09/2017 03:14

I'd reply."Sure no problem. But since we are taking back things given in good faith, can you pay me the difference between your rent and market value for the time you were renting from me? Only fair, if that's how you want it...."

This. Absolutely this. Fairness works both ways.

Atenco · 21/09/2017 04:08

Now she's holidaying in the Caribbean and cannot remember me anymore

I'm thinking that the last place anyone would want to holiday at the moment is in the Caribbean

kickingcancersass · 21/09/2017 05:11

How much money are we talking about?

ragged · 21/09/2017 06:02

These threads really put me off accepting any gifts ever from anyone ever in future. I don't want free stuff if it comes with unspoken strings attached.

PrimalLass · 21/09/2017 06:41

It's like selling your Christmas presents on eBay. Very tacky.

It's quote normal to sell things you don't want on EBay.

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 21/09/2017 08:59

Atenco that wasn't pithy- she isn't in the Caribbean now- she's had three holidays and is spending like money is burning a hole in her pockets- so unless I'm missing something she's not broke.

How much money are we talking about here?The bed was advertised for £120
I had prospective tenants who were interested and passed all financial checks before my "friend" was without accommodation so she didn't do me a favour.
She had the property at a significantly lower rate. In real terms £1500 was what she saved.

I don't dwell for long - I make my mind up, thank my lucky stars that a long term friend didn't do this to me.

Hopefully she has ostracised me and won't have anything to do with me- it'll feel like the binsbhave taken themselves out.

Onwards and upwards.

OP posts:
Original poster
TouretteNanna · 21/09/2017 09:01

"since we are taking back things given in good faith, can you pay me the difference between your rent and market value for the time you were renting from me? Only fair, if that's how you want it...."

Have sent something along these lines.

OP posts:
existentialmoment · 21/09/2017 09:26

Some posters on here shouldn't give gifts BTW. They don't understand the concept

Yes to this, big time. I would refuse any gift from people who agree with OP's ex friend, it's a liability.

Gemini69 · 21/09/2017 12:42

hahaaaa well done OP Flowers

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/09/2017 12:44

Well that puts paid to that friendship. Good riddance, perhaps.

Original poster
TouretteNanna · 21/09/2017 15:11

Cheeky Fucker had indeed lived up to her Moniker.

Apparently I'm a terrible friend and nobody forced me to give her a rental discount Grin she sees nothing wrong with asking for the bed money. No budge. Now she can shove it.

If I wouldn't get wound up by it later I'd keep responding- I really think it'd be like reasoning with a spoilt toddler.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 21/09/2017 15:20

Nobody forced her to give you a second hand bed!!!!

What a twat she is.

5rivers7hills · 21/09/2017 15:54

I'd reply."Sure no problem. But since we are taking back things given in good faith, can you pay me the difference between your rent and market value for the time you were renting from me? Only fair, if that's how you want it...."

Amazing response.

expatinscotland · 21/09/2017 17:06

I wouldn't give her a bean. She dumped the bed on you because she had no place to put it. Block her.

expatinscotland · 21/09/2017 17:09

Or better respond, 'Nobody forced you to dump a secondhand bed on me because you didn't have space, either. So, it's the difference in the rent or not a penny do you get. Bye!' and then block.

londonista · 21/09/2017 17:37

On a side note, never again will I let my flat to friends for mates rates. I did it for 3 years, they saved literally thousands in rent, then when I asked them for £35 to pay for rubbish removal that they left when they moved out, I got a pissy email back. I was so shocked I could barely speak! Friends and money never mix, sad but ultimately true.

FWIW OP I have sold lots of things given to me by friends, but I try to take care to make sure they don't see it, as at the very least it can result in hurt feelings. She sounds like she's quite keen to edit herself out of your life anyway, so no loss!

Helentad · 21/09/2017 17:43

Tell her you would like the extra rent now she can afford it. I'm sure that would cone to more than a second hand bed

Strokethefurrywall · 21/09/2017 17:44

Please sell it, keep the money and spend it on yourself!

What a knobber, thank god she's no longer your friend!

Jamhandprints · 21/09/2017 17:45

It seems to be the done thing to give away what has been given to you. Its silly but Ppl get lots of abuse on selling sites for this.

gingergenius · 21/09/2017 17:59

Is it breeding season in cheeky fuckerland????

Allthebestnamesareused · 21/09/2017 18:03

Actually now I'd be tempted to sell it, use the money to buy yourself something really frivolous, post a picture of what you buy on FB and say "Cheers CF" and tag her!

Note to mumsnet: this is a joke or is it? Grin Grin

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