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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend wants money for bed

189 replies

TouretteNanna · 20/09/2017 19:32

Hi.
Last year a friend was going through some hard times and she had to downsize. She rented from me (below market rates) and I was happy to help her until she got on her feet which she did.

When she left I helped her to dismantle furniture/clean/sort etc. She had a spare bed that wasn't needed and told me I could have it -she also said it was the least she could do/had nowhere to store it etc etc.

We stored it Ina garage and we're planning to put DS in it but we've since decided to get a double bed with storage

I posted the bed locally on some selling sites and my friend has seen it (I haven't heard from her in weeks) and posted

" I noticed you selling my bed and the interest innit online. I hope you'll be fair and give me the proceeds of the sale."

Am I wrong in thinking when you are given something and no longer need it you give it away or sell to move on? The bed was gifted to me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
emmcan · 20/09/2017 20:51

Give her the money from the bed. After she has paid your invoice for the reduced rent you charged her. If the amounts are roughly equal then just wash that damage out of your life.

Inertia · 20/09/2017 20:52

I'm not a huge fan of selling things you've been given , but in this case you were doing her as much of a favour as she did you- if you hadn't kept it in storage she would have had to dispose of it.

She's being really cheeky. I'd find it hard not to mention what she'd have had to pay a handyman/furniture removals/ full market rent/ storage costs.

expatinscotland · 20/09/2017 20:53

Good grammar is for life, not just for MN huns.

NicolasFlamel · 20/09/2017 20:53

I'm pretty sure they're both in the dictionary in noun and verb form. Confused

JaneEyre70 · 20/09/2017 20:53

I'd get the bed, and leave it in her front garden. Clearly it means a lot to her. Then block her number. She's no friend.

PaintingByNumbers · 20/09/2017 20:54

Pmsl its been a verb for about 400 years and is pretty much accepted usage by anyone's standards these days, apart from yours perhaps,but, yeah, totes ungrammatical

Snausage · 20/09/2017 20:56

PaintingByNumbers I'd hate to be your friend if you behave that repulsively to everyone.

OP I'd reply to your friend saying that I'd deduct what i get from the bed from the £20 per month storage cost for looking after her bed. She's a cheeky fucker.

balsamicbarbara · 20/09/2017 20:56

I think her message is a bit cheeky and rude but similarly I think you're taking the Mickey selling something you've been given. It's like selling your Christmas presents on eBay. Very tacky.

FluffyNinja · 20/09/2017 20:58

Chavvy?
I'd rather be chavvy than a twat any day.

QueenUnicorn · 20/09/2017 21:02

I'd have probably offered it back to her and if she declined then I'd have sold it on.

However it does seem a cheek to ask for money when she stayed for reduced rent.

Dadddi · 20/09/2017 21:07

Tell her to come and get her bed back. Sever any further contact with her

Word!

JennyHolzersGhost · 20/09/2017 21:07

I would have contacted her before advertising it and asked if she wanted it and said otherwise I would sell it and offer to split the proceeds with her.

It's got very .... uncharitable around here recently. Some nasty tones. Downmarket and rude, people with no manners. Rather sad tbh.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 20/09/2017 21:12

Get it sold, it was gifted to you, it's just adog and bone situation OP !

Reastie · 20/09/2017 21:14

I can see both sides too. If it were me I probably would have sent her a courtesy email checking that she no longer wanted it because you didn't have space and needed to get rid of it. It would have avoided the issue you're having. I also would most likely give it away rather than sell it given it was given to me in a good karma way. But she ibu in her reaction given the history of your friendship and the bed.

Viviennemary · 20/09/2017 21:22

I don't usually agree with selling stuff people have given to you. But you have been more than generous with her with the discounted rent. Say she can have the money for the bed but you want the full rent back. She can't have it every way.

IsMyUserNameRubbish · 20/09/2017 21:27

She gave it to you, therefore it's 100% your property to do as you wish, tell her you'll use the proceeds to go towards the rent you let her off with, then sever all ties.............with friends like that eh?

wowfudge · 20/09/2017 21:29

This gets weirder. What the hell is wrong with selling anything you own, whether you bought it or were given it? It really doesn't matter. And doesn't make the person selling what was a gift a chav or someone to be bitched about, etc. I like what the pp said about gifts having ribbons, not strings.

pictish · 20/09/2017 21:30

I wouldn't normally agree with selling on a heartfelt gift either ffs...but this is a bed people...a big old takes-up-loads-of-space bed, left behind for someone else's convenience.
It's fair fucks to sell it.

OldEnglishSheepDog · 20/09/2017 21:31

While I don't dispute that technically you had every right to sell it on, I can understand why she might have felt a little put out (although she shouldn't have said anything). When you're gifted something it seems a little callous to sell it on; gifting it to someone else would be fair enough but flogging it for cash just seems a little lacking in the spirit of gratitude.

She shouldn't have said anything though. Just stewed about it for days and judged you silently. That's always my preferred method of dealing with things.

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 21:33

There is no technically about it, and if she is put out by "losing" a tiny amount for a bed she didn't want and gave to someone from whom she gained massive advantage from, she's an utter tit.

It's not the OP here who needs to understand the spirit of gratitude.

Beamur · 20/09/2017 21:37

I'd just give her the money and move on.

IHateUncleJamie · 20/09/2017 21:38

Says everyone I know, none of whom would do it, as it is scummy and we have better manners, also you'd be ostracized and everyone would slag you off forever
True story

Good grief, Paintingbynumbers, are you and "everyone you know" aged 14? 😐

Wrt the bed, I probably would have offered it to a charity, or sold it and donated the proceeds to charity, as Mummyoflittledragon suggested. Legally though, as the bed was given as a gift, the OP can certainly sell it. The bed-giver sounds like an absolute CF. I'd either dump the bed on her front garden, or respond as per Mummy suggested.

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 21:41

Says everyone I know, none of whom would do it, as it is scummy and we have better manners, also you'd be ostracized and everyone would slag you off forever

Sounds like the ideal thing to do then, if people who think like this would ostracise you, since that can only be a good thing! Nobody wants to be friends with people like this anyway.

user1468353179 · 20/09/2017 21:46

Sorry, but it really pisses me off when I give somebody something and they sell it. I gave a friend some stuff, she sold it , and I was there when the woman come round to collect it. I don't care that she didn't want it, I was just annoyed that she hadn't offered it back to me first.

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 20/09/2017 21:48

It was hardly a gift. It was something she couched as a gift, when in actual fact it was an unwanted bed she had no need of or space for. So left it to the OP to sit stored in her garage for ages in case they needed it. Which it turns out they did not. If it was "the least" she could do after the cheap place to stay and all the help she received, then she is most certainly more in debt to the OP than the OP is to her.

If anything it was a payment for cheap rent and help moving.

Sell it, keep the money, block her.