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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this person was rude?

169 replies

youcometomyhouse · 13/05/2017 16:30

Someone DH works with showed up unexpectedly at our house at dinner time. We ignored the door because we weren't expecting anyone but he knocked repeatedly over a 15 minute period. When we still didn't answer he walked around to the back door. DH invited him in despite the fact it was dinner time!

He only wanted a cup of tea and a chat with DH, nothing important.

AIBU to think this is rude?

OP posts:
Reow · 13/05/2017 16:32

Very rude.

thecatsarecrazy · 13/05/2017 16:32

Yes I think that's rude but I hate anyone coming to the house any time.

LadyPW · 13/05/2017 16:33

Totally! You need a bolt on the back gate and a DH with more backbone & better colleagues. The bolt is the easiest bit.

sonjadog · 13/05/2017 16:33

He sounds unusually persistant. Surely there was more to it than just wanting a coffee?

divafever99 · 13/05/2017 16:35

Yes very rude. If I knocked on the door and there was no answer I would just leave, even of it was clear there was someone in, I would assume they didn't want to be disturbed. I

Original poster
youcometomyhouse · 13/05/2017 16:36

No, he just wanted a chat and a cuppa. They talked about stuff at work, and that's all really!

OP posts:
Reow · 13/05/2017 16:38

Me too thecatsarecrazy!

Do you drop to the floor and do the army crawl too?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 13/05/2017 16:43

You didn't answer the door for fifteen minutes - wow! I find that incredible - I'm baffled by people not answering their doors. What's the issue? I'd have invited him in poured him a drink offered him some dinner and had a chat.

Nineinchnails · 13/05/2017 16:46

I like people popping in Smile

QuiteLikely5 · 13/05/2017 16:47

Tbh I find it strange why you didn't answer the door? Eating or not.

At the end of the day he knew you were home and also failed to understand why you wouldn't answer.

Also surely you had finished eating after 15 mins

LedaP · 13/05/2017 16:48

I think not answering your door is pretty rude tbh.

RuggerHug · 13/05/2017 16:50

I'm amazed he didn't give up and leave when you were obviously ignoring him misses the point

SpinMill · 13/05/2017 16:52

I find it a bit odd and rude that you ignored him and didn't answer the door.

happypoobum · 13/05/2017 16:57

OMG - another "popping in" thread.

Poppers in should be shot.

I would have killed DH for allowing the fucker in. Who doesn't get the message after knocking, let alone for fifteen bloody minutes.

Sounds very odd.

nocoolnamesleft · 13/05/2017 17:00

Yep, it was indeed rude to have ignored him. Answer the door "Sorry, we're in the middle of something here, bye"

DeadGood · 13/05/2017 17:02

"I'm amazed he didn't give up and leave when you were obviously ignoring him misses the point "

No, you didn't miss the point rugger - this is exactly why the OP, and any other right-minded person, thinks that this colleague is rude.

People should take the hint.

As for the "I can't believe you didn't answer the door" crew. I always find people with this attitude a bit sad. We get to do whatever the hell we want to within our own homes. We are allowed to ignore the doorbell if we don't wish to see anyone.

It kind of seems as though some people are sort of desperate for company.

Sara107 · 13/05/2017 17:03

How could you sit there eating g dinner with someone banging on the door for 15 mins?? Did you not think after the first few that the person actually wanted to see you? Maybe rude to call by unannounced, but just as rude not to open the door.

redshoeblueshoe · 13/05/2017 17:04

The person was rude for knocking for 15 minutes
You were rude for not answering the door

DeadGood · 13/05/2017 17:04

"Yep, it was indeed rude to have ignored him. Answer the door "Sorry, we're in the middle of something here, bye""

On what universe is it not rude to say that to someone?!

The whole point of not answering the door is to allow everyone to save face.

Plus, sometimes I literally do not want anybody to see me. Answering the door only to dismiss someone kind of defeats the purpose of not answering the door.

Goldfishjane · 13/05/2017 17:05

I would have had asked him if his own home had burned down, can't think why else he'd be so persistent. You sure he wasn't off loading drugs?!

Taylia · 13/05/2017 17:07

I don't think not answering the door is rude. It's the OP's house. There's no law stating if your door is knocked it must be answered.

Just as if your phone rings you can ignore it.

The guy should have got the message after knocking once and not getting an answer, 15 mins and then still skulking around the back is ridiculous.
YANBU

Tweezerz · 13/05/2017 17:09

I think it's rude you didn't answer. I would have invited him to join us for dinner but if it was a time when company really was going to be an issue I would have answered the door and said we were in the middle of something and asked DH to arrange to meet him later on or something.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/05/2017 17:11

I think it's rude not to answer a door if you are in. You don't have to invite them inside, just acknowledge their existence.

Redglitter · 13/05/2017 17:12

Would it not have been easier to go to the door and tell him you were having dinner. I hate people popping in but I couldn't ignore the door for 15 mins

Jux · 13/05/2017 17:13

I like people popping in. I'd have given him dinner, not just a cuppa - also means you don't have to delay your meal. DH would have either told him it was dinner time and to come back later, or told him he could watch us eat while he had a cuppa.

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