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AIBU?

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Original poster

Did something very silly, please advise

362 replies

WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:25

Went for a boozy work lunch yesterday (I work in banking, it was with my bosses) but held it together. My boss who is significsntly more senior than me then took us all out for a drink after. Everyone was fairly tipsy but holding it together.

I made the mistake of staying for one more drink with my boss after the others had left. One turned into another and then another, got progressively more drunk. He is married but separated I think and things are bad. I'm single and was being nice to him; guess he took this the wrong way as he then made a comment about how he knew what I was doing but was resisting (?) and kissed my cheek. I put him right and said that although he was attractive i wasn't interested. He also said I looked hot at various points in the evening.

We ended up going to a club at his suggestion (just us) and staying out. I missed plans I had with a friend as was very drunk.

I feel completely awful about it today even though nothing really happened (have a horrible feeling we may have held hands at some point?!), I'm not sure what I was thinking. I really wasn't after him but was just being nice - I can see how it would look that way though. I am scared I have lost his respect.

I was sick in the toilets at one point. I am worried about how to act when I get back to work. I feel like I have compromised my integrity.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:27

I feel like i must have looked like I was throwing myself at him even though I really wasn't. I just want to be known for being good at my job. I'm so upset. I'm in a bit of a bad place right now and was probably enjoying the attention if I'm honest, i shouldn't have courted it though.

I was too drunk - was honestly holding it together well for hours and asked a lot about work/his family/kept the conversation neutral. Was really trying.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:29

Sorry my aibu is how do I behave at work on Tuesday? Should I say anything? Can I do any damage limitation? So scared other people will find out.

OP posts:
thetroutofnocraic · 29/04/2017 15:31

Oh dear! Just pull your big girl pants on and laugh it off when you get back to work. I'm sure most people have done similarly cringeworthy things whilst at their cups, I know I have.
You didn't sleep with him. Don't worry. The horrors will soon pass. And most likely others will be equally embarrassed by their own actions/not even remember.

thetroutofnocraic · 29/04/2017 15:32

Don't even mention it. If anyone brings it up just laugh it up with "I shouldn't be let out!" or some similar jokey remark.

ScarlettFreestone · 29/04/2017 15:32

Hold your head high and say nothing.

Be completely normal and very professional.

Leave with everyone else next time.

SorrelSoup · 29/04/2017 15:34

I think you've got beer fear and that it'll all be OK! If it's brought up on your return to work just say, ooh yes that was a messy one, I won't be in a hurry to repeat that or words to that effect. If it's not brought up then just ignore it. Be professional as usual and keep the boundaries. Make everything about work, even redirecting conversations to being about work if necessary.

Casmama · 29/04/2017 15:38

I agree with Sorrel, you've got the fear because you're hungover. You didn't kiss him and set him straight when he kissed your cheek.
Chanc es are he was as drunk as you so don't overthink it. I'm sure you'll feel less worried tomorrow.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 29/04/2017 15:39

Just brazen it out, worse things have happened.

MimiSunshine · 29/04/2017 15:39

You're suffering from post drinking horrors, it'll pass.

Get in early on Tuesday, be one of the first in that way you don't have to do the 'walk of shame' past everyone who may give you a good natured ribbing but likely if they were all tipsy won't be too focused on you (although it'll feel like it to you).

Then any comments that come your way such as 'had fun on Friday? 😜' or 'anything we should know about? [nudge nudge]' just laugh and say it was fun wasn't it but oh my god I suffered for it on Saturday.

Own it but don't apologise for it, you did nothing wrong and if you try to bury it people just take the mick even more or gossip about what you may be hiding.

And if the jokes go on too long then just groan but smile and say can we please pretend I only had 1 drink and went home early I can't bear it any longer.

But nearly everyone will be waking up today wondering if they embarrassed themselves so don't worry. And that includes your boss

Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:40

Thanks but I do feel like I got more flirty as night went on. He suggested we go dancing and we did oh god. I kept insisting we had more drinks too. What a mess! I was definitely leading it and I don't know why.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/04/2017 15:40

Nothing happened. Even if you'd shagged him, that'd be ok. Don't panic. Go into work and gloss over the whole thing.

Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:40

It was only the two of us though

OP posts:
Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:41

He's my boss - he's a partner in the firm I work for and I'm a new graduate. It's awful isn't it

OP posts:
floraeasy · 29/04/2017 15:42

Style it out.

Never be in that situation again.

Look into a possible alcohol problem. I do not mean that unkindly (I've been there). It's just that it looks like alcohol got you into several situations you did not intend to be in. The alcohol was running the show that night and as you've found out, that leads to trouble.

Flowers
eddielizzard · 29/04/2017 15:43

ignore the whole thing. go back to being super professional on tuesday. don't reply to any comments about it, act as though it never happened. that seems to be what politicians do...

Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:44

Feel like he's lost all respect for me!

OP posts:
NotYoda · 29/04/2017 15:46

You remember rebuffing him. Why did you then go to the club?

NotYoda · 29/04/2017 15:47

BTW, I don't think this should be him losing respect for you. He's the one who is married and came onto you. And then invited you to a club when you'd already said no.

ifyoulikepinacolada · 29/04/2017 15:48

Ah you've got beer fear. You'll have a moment of awkwardness on Tuesday but everything'll be back to normal by the end of the week. As a PP said don't apologize, laugh it off, and next time go home early!

AppearingNormal · 29/04/2017 15:48

He's the married one who kissed a junior member of staff. Chill and never be so stupid again.

Original poster
WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis · 29/04/2017 15:49

Yes but I was obviously encouraging it :(

I don't know why I went, I think I didn't want it to be awkward. I feel like I was leading him on, I rebuffed him but was probably not acting like it - kept insisting we have more drinks, carried on the night. Really don't know why, incredibly stupid of me. Felt like I was offering myself to him on a plate

OP posts:
Frizziee · 29/04/2017 15:50

Just own it. You work hard, drink the odd time and can see the funny side but most importantly don't give a fuck.

ImperialBlether · 29/04/2017 15:50

Love how he's plying you with drinks but says you're coming on to him.

I would steer clear of this man in future. If anything did happen, he was getting ready to say it was your fault.

NotYoda · 29/04/2017 15:51

I also think you are being disingenuous. You chose to stay when others left. You then chose to drink more and go somewhere else with him.

I think you do fancy him

ImperialBlether · 29/04/2017 15:51

Oh sorry, so you were the one suggesting more and more drinks, not him?

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