Did something very silly, please advise

[WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis]

Went for a boozy work lunch yesterday (I work in banking, it was with my bosses) but held it together. My boss who is significsntly more senior than me then took us all out for a drink after. Everyone was fairly tipsy but holding it together.

I made the mistake of staying for one more drink with my boss after the others had left. One turned into another and then another, got progressively more drunk. He is married but separated I think and things are bad. I'm single and was being nice to him; guess he took this the wrong way as he then made a comment about how he knew what I was doing but was resisting (?) and kissed my cheek. I put him right and said that although he was attractive i wasn't interested. He also said I looked hot at various points in the evening.

We ended up going to a club at his suggestion (just us) and staying out. I missed plans I had with a friend as was very drunk.

I feel completely awful about it today even though nothing really happened (have a horrible feeling we may have held hands at some point?!), I'm not sure what I was thinking. I really wasn't after him but was just being nice - I can see how it would look that way though. I am scared I have lost his respect.

I was sick in the toilets at one point. I am worried about how to act when I get back to work. I feel like I have compromised my integrity.

... or maybe not the bit about not being interested in him. But make that part clear by shutting down any personal conversation. Of course if he were to asks directly you have to say it

I feel like deep down i am actually a bit interested in him. And that's where all of this came from and why I allowed myself to get so involved. What a nightmare.

Oh god, honestly?
You got pissed with a colleague, Pfft, so what.
You didn't shag him, you didn't snog him. Sounds like he is the one who should know better and be worrying about his professionalism, commenting on how hot he finds a new young graduate whilst making noises about his unhappy relationship.

Seriously, pretend it never happened and get one with work. If he mentions it, just say yes we drank a little too much and cut the conversation short.

No victim blaming as no victim. The OP is posting more dramatically each time over something that means nothing and can be ignored and forgotten if she wishes it too.

If he tries to make something out of nothing she can report to necessary authorities. As he can too if he feels the need.

I'm sure there are lots of marriages out there that started at work. In my experience, though, nothing good comes out of a younger woman in a junior role and an older man in a senior role getting involved in the office. If it turns sour and he gets angry, he'll do what men have been doing for years - abuse his position.

As NotYoda said, you shouldn't approach the conversation, but if he does, detail down what he says and what your response was. In this particular situation, what has happened out of the office under the influence of alcohol shouldn't impact on your job.

So deal with it! Stop being interested in him. Imagine him shitting, picking his nose and leaving skiddies in his pants.

Agree you should stop being interested in him.

Sounds like he's a lot older than you.

He's married (albeit separated) lots of baggage/rebound potential.

He's unprofessional - obviously.

Work relationships can be fraught with problems. The power imbalance will invite talk of favouritism, etc. Not good for your career.

Not a good prospect at all!

Let well alone. Enjoy nights out with your own friends and work will stay where it belongs.

Oh op even I got that you were interested in him

But as pp sad, for now anyway, just no. If in a few years you still work there and there is no policy against colleague relationships then who knows but you need to concentrate on your career there for now.

He sounds like a sleaze to me

How old is he?

I can list some middle-age-man-traits if you like. You know, just to put you off him a bit

(Disclaimer: I love my sexy DH)

Don't sleep with him.

I definitely won't sleep with him. I'm actually so scared, I have to work so closely with him and I feel like he's lost all respect for me. I really was a mess.

No. Stobbit. Stobbit now.

OP, once the alcohol has worn off, you should feel better tomorrow. You may feel a little bit anxious on Monday morning, but I'm sure it will all be OK by lunchtime.

Sorry I'm not trying to be dramatic. I have quite bad anxiety sometimes. I'm a bit of a people pleaser too

He sounds like a sleaze to me

Well tbf the op said she encouraged it, so I guess that doesn't only apply to him.

Op needs to just act like nothing happened and go in with a neutral face. And stop drinking and crossing lines with your bosses.

LOL at NotYoda

OP, I've done Mum Face at you. NotYoda's virtual slap was going to be my next step. Calm down. Everybody's giving you good advice, so do yourself a favour and take it.

Then have some crumpets or MacD's and an early night.

In the nicest possible way - Calm. The. F**k. Down.

You haven't done anything wrong but working yourself up into a frenzy is not going to help you style this one out which is what you need to do.

Your reaction on Monday needs to be calm.

Try and relax. Have some proper hangover food, a bath and watch some rubbish tv and I guarantee you'll feel better tomorrow.

If you deal with this like PPs have suggested, you'll look back on this and laugh one day!

Are you sure there isn't more to this? Your posts arent reflecting the non event that you have described tbh

Remember, he just walked out of the venue when you were in the loo, leaving you alone there, drunk. And you worry that he might lose respect for you? It works both ways.

25 and 40.

There isn't more to it no. I bloody hope not anyway. I'm just humiliated, I wish I had left!