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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To end 25 year old friendship over this comment

279 replies

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:38

Dh and I were out with another couple at the weekend who we have been friends with for over 25 years (since me and the other woman were pregnant with out first).

Was a lovely evening until the end when they asked who we were voting for in the next election. Myself and dh both said labour. Other couple said they were voting Tory and said that they thought we were stupid to even consider voting for corbyn. Both myself and dh were a bit Hmm at that but I tried to explain I work for the NHS and I don't like what the current government are doing and dh is heavily involved in unions so feels his heart belongs to labour despite their current leader.

Now I should add that when we met current couple we were from similar social-economic backgrounds. Man from other couple owns a business and over the last 15 years it has taken off and they now earn a lot more than us. This has never been a problem in the past except a few occasions when they have chosen restaurants that are out of my and dh's price range.

Back to the evening they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do, and that we have easy life's because we have no 'drive'. This is completely not true, I might be a lowly nurse but Im always signing up for new training, courses and promotions despite doing my training 30 years ago. I find the comment that they are better off than us because they work harder as incredibly offensive and dismissive of other people's struggles. It kind of escalated into a bit of an argument at this point as my dh was very offended. We then said our goodbyes and made a swift exit.

The man has a bit of form for making arseholey comments. Last year he got very drunk and told dh that he didn't understand how anyone could be poor 'if you don't have money then don't spend any'.

Aibu to not want to speak to either of them again. I feel very offended.

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 25/04/2017 21:40

Good grief! With friends like these......

Jengnr · 25/04/2017 21:41

They are cunts. Bin them.

AnyFucker · 25/04/2017 21:41

Yes, Just drop them. They sound nasty.

I never talk about politics on an evening out though, especially where the booze is flowing.

BarneyRumbleton · 25/04/2017 21:41

I'd take a step back. He sounds like a right knob.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 25/04/2017 21:42

Theyve revealed how they really regard you and your Dh. There's no way I'd want to be friends with people who are arseholes like that.

Original poster
nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:43

any I would never bring it up but they asked and we responded.

I have friends who vote Tory and friends who vote green. It's not politics which is the problem with them but the fact they clearly think they are superior to us.

OP posts:
IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 25/04/2017 21:43

Shock what nasty, ignorant people.

I'd never want to speak the them again.

troodiedoo · 25/04/2017 21:43

Safe to say you've outgrown this friendship.

llangennith · 25/04/2017 21:44

Whatever your or their politics they have overstepped the boundaries. They are not your friends.

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 25/04/2017 21:44

Utter twats best avoided. It's always a bit grim to find out people think such awful things.
They're also barking up the wrong political tree by the sound of it, but then they're twattish and probably think they know rather than understand policies.

Shitonmyshoe · 25/04/2017 21:45

Fuck them right off. Tories tend to think that being well off boils down to hard work and that with hard work you should be well off. As a nurse you work your arse off. Utter cunts. I'm. Fuming for you.

Whosthebestbabainalltheworld · 25/04/2017 21:47

Lacking in emotional intelligence and any understanding of the critical role you play in society (I'm not a nurse, btw, but really admire those who provide care).

I'd be hurt by those comments and would definitely cool the relationship. Perhaps wait for them to make the first move and if they don't, you'll gain an understanding of what social status really means to them. If they do contact you, I think you or DH would have to explain how denigrated you felt by their comments.

Lochan · 25/04/2017 21:47

That behaviour is well over the line.

I'd drop them.

BlackberryandNettle · 25/04/2017 21:48

I think Corbyn would be a disaster. Their comments about them supposedly working harder etc were way out of order though

HarryPottersMagicWand · 25/04/2017 21:49

Fucking hell what a pair of twats. I hope their money keeps them warm as they won't have friends left with such a shitty attitude!

Funnyface1 · 25/04/2017 21:49

They want you to feel that they are superior to you and as you clearly don't (quite rightly) he feels the need to push it on you. I'd be done with them, doesn't sound like you're going to have any nice times with them going forward.

holidaysaregreat · 25/04/2017 21:49

YANBU - I initially thought that surely one comment could not end a friendship but it is more of an admission about how they think they are better than you & probably other people too. So I wouldn't want to spend time with them.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/04/2017 21:49

Noone had better fucking damn dare pull the I work hard chestnut with me.
I watched my poor mum literally die of exhaustion. She was 61 and before she took Ill she was working 16 hours a day. I double dare anyone to say my mum didn't work hard. She still died penniless.

Also what about people who can't work due to illness.
Your "friends" should be nice to those on their way up, as There's a very good chance they'll meet them on their way back down, and Their bump back down to earth will come.
Dump these closed minded arse holes.

user1489261248 · 25/04/2017 21:50

Not sure why you have even stayed friends with these nob jockeys to be honest.

What vile people.

They definitely think they are something they're not.

Don't bother with them anymore.

And if you call yourself a lowly nurse again, I will come over and smack your bottom! Angry

There is no such thing as a LOWLY nurse! GRRRRRRR

MrsDustyBusty · 25/04/2017 21:51

Oh I hate that Marie Antoinette obliviousness to other people's circumstances. A relative told me last weekend that she hates unions and anyone who's work conditions become unsatisfactory needs to just find another job. I don't know how adults can be so myopic and self absorbed.

Original poster
nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:51

Reflecting on everything I'm really surprised they haven't made a comment like that sooner. They've changed in the last five years since the business really took off.

OP posts:
Cockadoodle · 25/04/2017 21:51

Ummmmm no they sound like dicks no matter who they vote for! Bell ends

greenroofedhouse · 25/04/2017 21:52

they sound very arrogant. hugely arrogant. basically telling you they are a rung higherup than you! nurse is a fine job and you have to on the ball to stay in that sort of job too!

its not just hard work, its background, luck to be born into the family you are, pure chance you've been given the intelligence you have to work with etc. arrogant, rude, lacking in awareness, i could go on!

i dont blame you for not wanting to see them again. i'd definitely be unavailable for future nights out or catch ups, at least until i'd calmed down.

PickAChew · 25/04/2017 21:53

They can bloody be financially well off and lonely, with that attitude. Leave them to enjoy their "drive".

Nice to know what he thinks of the people who teach his children, tend to the injuries he sustains when pursuing the "hobby" he no doubt has and who will be likely to be wiping his arse when he's old and infirm.

selly24 · 25/04/2017 21:53

Evidence here that money DOES change people!

Interestingly it seems it is not the difference in your chosen political party, but the rather offensive, ill informed comments the other coupld have been making. They should be forced to watch the film I, Daniel Blake. And mirror you on your shift. And survive on a week's benefits.

Many people have drive, take a risk, invest in a business and sadly it doesn't take off for whatever reason.... Success in life if so often due to luck bit judgement. Yes there are some people who are happy to sit on their hands and take the kids... but they are the minority and twas ever Thus...

What ignorant shits....
Move on, make new friends.