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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end 25 year old friendship over this comment

279 replies

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:38

Dh and I were out with another couple at the weekend who we have been friends with for over 25 years (since me and the other woman were pregnant with out first).

Was a lovely evening until the end when they asked who we were voting for in the next election. Myself and dh both said labour. Other couple said they were voting Tory and said that they thought we were stupid to even consider voting for corbyn. Both myself and dh were a bit Hmm at that but I tried to explain I work for the NHS and I don't like what the current government are doing and dh is heavily involved in unions so feels his heart belongs to labour despite their current leader.

Now I should add that when we met current couple we were from similar social-economic backgrounds. Man from other couple owns a business and over the last 15 years it has taken off and they now earn a lot more than us. This has never been a problem in the past except a few occasions when they have chosen restaurants that are out of my and dh's price range.

Back to the evening they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do, and that we have easy life's because we have no 'drive'. This is completely not true, I might be a lowly nurse but Im always signing up for new training, courses and promotions despite doing my training 30 years ago. I find the comment that they are better off than us because they work harder as incredibly offensive and dismissive of other people's struggles. It kind of escalated into a bit of an argument at this point as my dh was very offended. We then said our goodbyes and made a swift exit.

The man has a bit of form for making arseholey comments. Last year he got very drunk and told dh that he didn't understand how anyone could be poor 'if you don't have money then don't spend any'.

Aibu to not want to speak to either of them again. I feel very offended.

OP posts:
TheExuberant1 · 25/04/2017 21:53

You did training 30 years ago and expecting your first child?

AnyFucker · 25/04/2017 21:54

I had a good "friend" like this

After making a similar comment about a (very lovely) mutual couple, she was downgraded to "acquaintance"

greenroofedhouse · 25/04/2017 21:55

i meant fine as in "good" job, "decent" job, "respectable" job, not fine as in mediocre!!

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:56

No I met them when I was expecting my first child.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/04/2017 21:56

Me too Dusty. "They Need to just get another job".
Grrrr. I hate stupid closed minded dismissive comments like that.
Because. Jobs do grow on trees.Hmm

tigersbuddy · 25/04/2017 21:56

I come from a family of 3 generations of nurses. I know how hard you work......it's not that you don't have drive.......it's that you are dedicated to helping people and proud of the nhs. ignore his silly opinion.

keep on doing what you do. you are part of what makes this country great.x

PickAChew · 25/04/2017 21:57

No exuberant - they've known each other since before they had their first child.

cdtaylornats · 25/04/2017 21:57

You do realise the NHS has to be paid for? With Corbyns policies you would be crying to get the Tories back within the year.

Rainbunny · 25/04/2017 21:57

Jesus! I would delete them from my life, you know that even if they apologise (how likely is that?) this is actually what they think of you and how they view the world.

That arsehole should be grateful that there are people in the nursing field!

MargoChanning · 25/04/2017 21:59

You're not a 'lowly nurse'. I bet you're an incredible nurse who has helped a lot of people and you really should take pride in that. Dump your friends - they don't deserve you. Xx

Buxtonstill · 25/04/2017 22:00

The op said she met them 25 years ago, when she was expecting her first dc.

HappyFlappy · 25/04/2017 22:00

They have their own business? DO they have staff? How much do they pay them? As little as they can, I expect.

They are twats. Don't get in touch and be "busy that night" - and all nights - if they do.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 25/04/2017 22:00

God no, dump them-they sound utter arseholes.
Please don't call yourself a lowly nurse-there is no such thing & it detracts from the fantastic job I'm sure you do.

KoolKoala07 · 25/04/2017 22:00

Hate it when people claim to work harder than anybody else. We all go to work, we all work hard. Angry tell them to do one.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 25/04/2017 22:00

Woah ... couldn't deal with that - they'd be dumped. Not for having a different political view but for being so offensive.
Interestingly I had the opposite but similar thing happen - been friends with a couple for 18 yrs met when our youngest kids were toddlers. Were of a similar socio- economic group - all voted Labour and connected over our shared political perspective.
Since then we've all improved our circumstances - better paid jobs, bigger houses etc. Although my DP and I are probably a bit (although not massively) financially better off than them, we still vote Labour. However, discovered over a boozy lunch they are now voting Tory. I was gobsmacked and although I did at one point say "you actually go into a polling booth and put a cross next to the Tory candidate?" would never have been so rude as to suggest that their choice in voting for different political party to us was due to some failing in their character.
Thr argument of your 'friends' is ludicrous and offensive and they are not actually real friends.

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 22:01

cdt please don't lecture me about the state of the NHS right now and how it's likely to go in the future. Myself and my colleagues know what's going on better than most. Personally it's currently at the worst it has been in the 30 years since I started nursing.

OP posts:
SafeWord · 25/04/2017 22:01

Have you spoken since? Was everyone plastered?

buttercup54321 · 25/04/2017 22:02

they sound awful. Drop them.

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 22:05

safe not a peep and we were all tipsy, but not shitfaced. Probably 3 glasses of wine each.

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 25/04/2017 22:06

I'd lose them, you do not need that type of negativity in your life (nor that level of arseholeishness).

Politics can really bring out the worst in people.

gillybeanz · 25/04/2017 22:07

I can't understand why on earth it's taken you 25 years Shock

Mrskeats · 25/04/2017 22:07

I've fallen out with a friend over similar
Who works harder than a nurse!
Bin them

knaffedoff · 25/04/2017 22:08

I know a mum at the school gates who explained that her family could afford another holiday (they go away lots and often was cruises / Caribbean trips) and others too, could afford to go away similarly if they worked hard.

She is a sahp Hmm

I gave this mum a wide berth after this comment

ohfourfoxache · 25/04/2017 22:09

Ignorant, nasty fuckers

Bin them without a second thought

SexlessinSeattle · 25/04/2017 22:09

Does anyone really work harder than nurses?