Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end 25 year old friendship over this comment

279 replies

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:38

Dh and I were out with another couple at the weekend who we have been friends with for over 25 years (since me and the other woman were pregnant with out first).

Was a lovely evening until the end when they asked who we were voting for in the next election. Myself and dh both said labour. Other couple said they were voting Tory and said that they thought we were stupid to even consider voting for corbyn. Both myself and dh were a bit Hmm at that but I tried to explain I work for the NHS and I don't like what the current government are doing and dh is heavily involved in unions so feels his heart belongs to labour despite their current leader.

Now I should add that when we met current couple we were from similar social-economic backgrounds. Man from other couple owns a business and over the last 15 years it has taken off and they now earn a lot more than us. This has never been a problem in the past except a few occasions when they have chosen restaurants that are out of my and dh's price range.

Back to the evening they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do, and that we have easy life's because we have no 'drive'. This is completely not true, I might be a lowly nurse but Im always signing up for new training, courses and promotions despite doing my training 30 years ago. I find the comment that they are better off than us because they work harder as incredibly offensive and dismissive of other people's struggles. It kind of escalated into a bit of an argument at this point as my dh was very offended. We then said our goodbyes and made a swift exit.

The man has a bit of form for making arseholey comments. Last year he got very drunk and told dh that he didn't understand how anyone could be poor 'if you don't have money then don't spend any'.

Aibu to not want to speak to either of them again. I feel very offended.

OP posts:
nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 22:09

gilly they weren't always like this...the guy was a bit of a socialist when we first met.

Money does change people.

OP posts:
Iris65 · 25/04/2017 22:09

My oldest friend described my previous job (when I was a nurse) as a 'shit shovellor'.
We never recovered from that and we are now FB acquaintances.
They sound like horrible people OP.

NoYouDontKnowItAll · 25/04/2017 22:10

Things like this are why I don't discuss politics with friends, even though most what I could call friends I know through my local Labour Party activities. People like your friends, OP, make me laugh coz they vote for and praise May, Cameron, Osborne etc who wouldn't even walk on the same side of the road as them

GabsAlot · 25/04/2017 22:11

they work harder than a nurse?

are theye on crack-ive no doubt they had a tough time building up their business but thats by the by-how fucking rude

u dont need friends lik that

Giddyaunt18 · 25/04/2017 22:11

Sounds to me like not having them in your life anymore will be a good thing. Their particular brand of 'drive' will only drive any decent people away!

Justaboy · 25/04/2017 22:12

FWIW I don't think the good olde NHS will ever be perfect no matter how much money they chuck at it, but its been there for me when I needed it most, bless it and all who work in her.

Matey is a real cock isn't he? I run and own a few companies but I'd never say that to anyone it takes all sorts to make up a society. I just hope he'll be glad for someone to clean his stupid arse when he's in hospital course no doubt it'll be a private one!.

As to Corbyn he's a disgrace to the Labour party, they deserve a 21st Century leader but have got a well intended relic from another age;(.

Not that Teresa May is perfect either but are any of them?.

GabsAlot · 25/04/2017 22:12

iris no way!

ffs i think u and op do the bloody hardest job in the world

pinkiponk · 25/04/2017 22:13

Slightly off topic but having just been in hospital with my little boy, I have a great respect for nurses. The medical knowledge especially!
They all worked so hard with such compassion towards my little boy. I got choked up saying thank you as I left the ward yesterday.
So thank you for having the drive for empathy and compassion, instead of business and money. I know which I think is far harder and which is appreciated by the British public. They sound horrendous.

ifcatscouldtalk · 25/04/2017 22:13

I clicked into this thread expecting to say don't fall out over politics. This is however a situation where they are saying 'we are better than you '
I really hate the perception that some people have that anyone can achieve wealth and if they aren't wealthy they haven't tried hard enough.
I'm not a very argumentative person but i got into a very heated debate with a work colleague over this attitude.
As far as jobs go I look up to people who are nurses.
Keep some distance from these people. I avoid superior drag you down types and it's much improved my wellbeing.

SexlessinSeattle · 25/04/2017 22:14

OP, a "lowly nurse" still works a hell of a lot harder than the rest of us. And believe me, I know and appreciate that!

Mysteriouscurle · 25/04/2017 22:15

Like fuck I would ever want to set eyes on these tossers again let alone socialise with them

Crapuccino · 25/04/2017 22:15

Aaaaand goodbye to that friendship.

Crummyfunnymummy · 25/04/2017 22:15

Reasons to ditch these people:

  1. They vote Tory
  2. They are twats.
nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 22:16

ifcatscouldtalk you're right it's not about politics at all. Though I'm sure that's how they see it.

Myself and dh didn't give any opinion about them voting Tory, just explained why we wouldn't vote that way. Nothing I hate more than people shoving politics down others throats.

OP posts:
nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 22:17

I was being a little sarcastic with the lowly nurse thing. Though I have met plenty of people in my time who see it that way!

OP posts:
Shitonmyshoe · 25/04/2017 22:19

Crummy Grin

Singingforsanity · 25/04/2017 22:19

I was all ready to say don't let one comment ruin a friendship, but these people sound awful. If this is typical of their behaviour and attitudes I'd distance myself, particularly from the guy.

MakingMerry · 25/04/2017 22:19

YANBU. They raised the issue. They didn't have to. I have some Conservative voting friends; I have different views. We don't discuss politics, because we recognise that if we did the friendship might be damaged, and we value the friendship more than the opportunity to soapbox.

If your former friends are going to start those types of conversations, and make those types of comments, then the natural consequence of their behaviour is that they risk losing friends over it. And from what they said, it doesn't sound as if they respect or want to be friends with people with different political views, so presumably they accept the friendship is over.

Majorgoodwinschickenbeatstrump · 25/04/2017 22:20

Gosh... people like this never think long-term do they? You are in a profession that will always be needed with sick pay and a good pension. To own a business is admirable but also risky. Comments like his have a habit of biting people on the arse later.

ThePinkOcelot · 25/04/2017 22:24

Yes Sexless, teachers do!

muffinbluffer · 25/04/2017 22:25

Crummy summed it up though they would have lost me at number 1) on her list. Sometimes in the darkest, dankest recesses of my mind I hope people like these fall sick, are then unable to work, lose the business and have to rely on benefits while living in constant fear of being made destitute by the DWP who declare them fit to work. But that would just be inhumane so I would simply cut and run and wish them the best in their (offensive) endeavours.....

SafeWord · 25/04/2017 22:26

Im surprised no attempt has been made by them to apologize.
Stupid thing to say but to not try to make amends seems very poor on their part.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/04/2017 22:26

" they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do"
I would honestly struggle to be friends with someone that stupid. It's essentially victim-blaming. 'It's your own fault if you're poor, you should work harder.' Yeah, right.

Guepe · 25/04/2017 22:29

Money definitely changes people. I had a left wing friend who inherited millions so now she's a vocal Tory.

helpmesusan · 25/04/2017 22:30

They sound like total dickheads. Some people are so pleased with themselves!

You can do without friends like this.

Swipe left for the next trending thread