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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end 25 year old friendship over this comment

279 replies

nakedandconcerned · 25/04/2017 21:38

Dh and I were out with another couple at the weekend who we have been friends with for over 25 years (since me and the other woman were pregnant with out first).

Was a lovely evening until the end when they asked who we were voting for in the next election. Myself and dh both said labour. Other couple said they were voting Tory and said that they thought we were stupid to even consider voting for corbyn. Both myself and dh were a bit Hmm at that but I tried to explain I work for the NHS and I don't like what the current government are doing and dh is heavily involved in unions so feels his heart belongs to labour despite their current leader.

Now I should add that when we met current couple we were from similar social-economic backgrounds. Man from other couple owns a business and over the last 15 years it has taken off and they now earn a lot more than us. This has never been a problem in the past except a few occasions when they have chosen restaurants that are out of my and dh's price range.

Back to the evening they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do, and that we have easy life's because we have no 'drive'. This is completely not true, I might be a lowly nurse but Im always signing up for new training, courses and promotions despite doing my training 30 years ago. I find the comment that they are better off than us because they work harder as incredibly offensive and dismissive of other people's struggles. It kind of escalated into a bit of an argument at this point as my dh was very offended. We then said our goodbyes and made a swift exit.

The man has a bit of form for making arseholey comments. Last year he got very drunk and told dh that he didn't understand how anyone could be poor 'if you don't have money then don't spend any'.

Aibu to not want to speak to either of them again. I feel very offended.

OP posts:
derxa · 26/04/2017 07:05

Ah George Monbiot. No privilege there at all...

shellhider · 26/04/2017 07:17

If you consider this couple to be your friends then I dread to think what your enemies are like.

Move on but not until you have put them both on the Labour party mailing list

seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 26/04/2017 07:19

Were they called Stanley and Pammy by any chance?

www.dailymotion.com/video/x2obvuf

Peregrina · 26/04/2017 08:01

Is it just the Husband who is the dickhead? Is the woman OK? If so, you could keep up the friendship with her, perhaps, but make it clear that you won't be going to things as a couple.

The fact that they choose restaurants outside your price range tells you something about them.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 26/04/2017 08:31

Drop them like hot potatoes!

nakedandconcerned · 26/04/2017 08:37

elga yes I'm pretty sure they said those exact words. Unless I was hallucinating the whole conversation. Why is it so unbelievable?

OP posts:
elgatoderisa · 26/04/2017 09:12

I just think sometimes it's difficult for people who have been successful to maybe talk about how they've achieved this, without this being interpreted as arrogance. Talking about your own experience is different to directly making judgemental statements about someone else.
Also people can get very heated and over-sensitive on this kind of issue, that's all.

But as a PP said - you were there!

MyNameIsntTaken · 26/04/2017 09:17

Forget them. I'm sure they won't be missed. Who needs people like that in their lives?!

nakedandconcerned · 26/04/2017 09:28

They didn't say 'well we've worked hard for our money' which id be a bit Hmm at but wouldn't take offence. They literally said 'if you worked harder, like us, you'd be better off'

OP posts:
HotelEuphoria · 26/04/2017 09:32

They should be careful who they upset on the way up as they never know who they might meet on the way down.

Time to cut ties I have to say.

Nonibaloni · 26/04/2017 09:40

When I heard the argument for it paying nurses (what they deserve) more was because it attracted people who would work hard enough I felt so sad for society.

But this is a perfect example. Nurses work dam hard, not just physically and it is definitely not just a job. That people think hard work is rewarded fairly boggles my mind.

Unfortunately I'm not sure they will ever understand.

As Dickens said "save us from the self made man" or thereabouts.

derxa · 26/04/2017 09:44

They literally said 'if you worked harder, like us, you'd be better off'
Did they say it in unison?

pootlepootle · 26/04/2017 09:47

i haven't seen Stanley and Pammy for years. still as funny today.

nakedandconcerned · 26/04/2017 09:52

derxa yes, accompanied with a full gospel choir

OP posts:
judychicago · 26/04/2017 09:56

In this case not unreasonable to drop them, its fine to have friends with differing political views, even positive but these two sound like a couple of pricks.

caffelatte100 · 26/04/2017 09:59

Are you going to tell them why you won't be meeting up again?

derxa · 26/04/2017 10:00

derxa yes, accompanied with a full gospel choir Well that's alright then Grin

ElloDAAAVE · 26/04/2017 10:03

Sod them.

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2017 10:05

Anyone else imagining Harry Enfields " considerably richer than you" couple?
Ditch them they sound awful

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/04/2017 10:12

Sounds like they're voting for the right party (for them). Yanbu to ditch them.

GretchenFranklin · 26/04/2017 10:15

I have a theory that Brexit has unleashed a bizarre collective narcissism in this country Grin

What tits they have made of themselves OP.

Morphene · 26/04/2017 10:18

gah - I don't have much time for people who are so privilege blind.

I work hard, and I have money, does NOT imply
a) I have money BECAUSE I work hard
b) All people who work hard have money
c) all people without money work less hard.

I usually have one attempt to explain that, yes you work hard, and yes you have money, but that doesn't mean anything when applied to others. Many others work even harder for far far less money.

If they don't get it then I would be distancing myself.

cushioncovers · 26/04/2017 10:19

Dump them, they obviously silently judge you all the time for your work and political ethics and just happen to blurt it out when alcohol was involved.

floraeasy · 26/04/2017 10:21

If the man has form for making arseholey comments, I'm surprised you have managed to suffer his company for 25 years TBH. This latest visit though sounds like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Time to get rid, I would say.

Whether you do that by ghosting them or by telling them that after their visit you feel it's time to part ways is up to you.

AtrociousCircumstance · 26/04/2017 10:22

Don't toxify your life any further with these ignorant wankers.

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