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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 41 is v v young for a granny??

641 replies

TinfoilHattie · 19/03/2017 18:24

I'm 44. Recently I have been back in touch with some people I was at school with on Facebook - haven't seen these people for over 20 years, nearer 25 probably. I'm quite surprised at the number who are already grandparents - I saw a picture of a toddler on one of their FB pages, assumed it was their child but no, a grandchild having their third birthday. Granny is the same age as me. Confused

My mum was 27 when she had me and became a grandparent at 58. My inlaws were the same age. My eldest is 14 and I am not expecting to be a granny much before I'm 60, so that's my "normal". Cannot imagine being a granny by 41 and may be a bit unreasonable thinking it's nothing to aspire to?

OP posts:
armpitz · 19/03/2017 18:25

It's regional and income based more than anything. 41 is a good age for a first time mum in one social circle I move in and about right for a granny in another!

armpitz · 19/03/2017 18:26

Also, why is being a granny at all something to aspire to!?

Anasnake · 19/03/2017 18:26

I know a 37 year old nana !

isseywithcats · 19/03/2017 18:27

it depends on when they became parents i had my oldest son at 18 years old and my oldest grandaughter was born 23 days after my 40th birthday so no 41 and grandmother isnt that unusual or that young , also im closer to my grandchildren than i was to my grandparents who were older due to my mom being 35 when she had me

EmmaC78 · 19/03/2017 18:27

I know someone who was a granny at 33.

user1484578224 · 19/03/2017 18:27

might be cool because you can be a fun , young granny and enjoy a change of career and lifestyle too.

wifeyhun · 19/03/2017 18:27

I guess if my dd has her first baby at 20 like I did I will be a grandmother at 40. Would feel very young though I would imagine.

MissCalamity · 19/03/2017 18:28

My DP's younger sister became a grandma before he became a Dad Shock

sonlypuppyfat · 19/03/2017 18:28

I didn't have my first child until I was 32 but I know a lot of friends with grandchildren the same age as my kids

Original poster
TinfoilHattie · 19/03/2017 18:28

I can't imagine myself as a granny to be honest at any age, I'm still struggling to accept that I'm old enough to be a parent!

You hear so many stories though about women who have babies in their teens wanting a different life for their own children with more opportunities, but that's not happening if you've got grandparents aged in their late 30s.

OP posts:
Aderyn2016 · 19/03/2017 18:29

I think it's young - to me grannies are 60+. That said, it is not so unusual for two generations to have children in their late teens/early 20's thus resulting in gps who are early 40s. Used to be the norm when my folks were young. It is really only a modern thing that women have their first baby in their 30s.

armpitz · 19/03/2017 18:29

Actually, both my mother and her mother had their first daughter at 35, meaning my grandmother was 70 when I was born. She died when I was 12, aged 82 and sadly my mum only outlived her by three years so I dunno being an 'old' mum/grandma is something to aspire to! I guess we all have kids when we feel ready.

Mammylamb · 19/03/2017 18:29

I became a mum at age 34. My cousin who is a month younger than me became a gran the same year. I think it really depends on your socioeconomic circumstances and is also influenced by your family. My mum became a mother at 30, whereas my cousin's mother was 19 when my cousin was born. Thing is, I think my cousin was a wonderful mum; even if she embarked on motherhood 17 years earlier than me

catkind · 19/03/2017 18:30

Well, one girl in my class had a baby when we were in 6th form. If her DD had kids at a staid 25 she'd have been a granny at 41. Or two generations having kids at 20/21. Less common than it used to be but it's hardly granny at 30 territory. And surely anyone's delighted to be a gp at any age.

armpitz · 19/03/2017 18:30

TBH op, given the choice I'd have had a bay in my teens rather than my 40s.

armpitz · 19/03/2017 18:30

Baby. I hope I shall never have a bay!

WindwardCircle · 19/03/2017 18:30

If I'd had a baby at the same age my mum had me she'd have been a Nanna at 32!

TheOnlyColditz · 19/03/2017 18:31

And what's wrong with being a grannie?

AQuietMind · 19/03/2017 18:31

I am 35, my eldest ds is 20, I could easily be a granny thankfully I'm not

MumBod · 19/03/2017 18:31

My mum became a grandma at my age, 42.

She had a 7 year old at the time (me!)

It was weird as I was automatically shunted up into the older generation. I lost my mum at that point tbh.

Original poster
TinfoilHattie · 19/03/2017 18:32

Maybe my ideas are skewed by my own grandparents - my mum;s mum was almost 40 when she had her which was most unusual in the 1940s. She was well into her 60s when I came along. My dad is the youngest of his siblings and also born when his mother was into her 30s.

OP posts:
userkvdrjjrsv · 19/03/2017 18:32

My mum became a man at 37, she was 16 when she had my sister and my sister was 21 when she had her son, she then became a nan at 40

MumBod · 19/03/2017 18:32

She became a man, user?

Not another trans thread...Wink

AQuietMind · 19/03/2017 18:33

My mum became a man at 37 Grin

blondehair · 19/03/2017 18:33

My mum is going to be a granny at 42. I know quite a few mums around 40 becoming grandmas x